Downstairs windows left open overnight

[Myohmyrtf]

Came down this morning and partner had gone to bed leaving living room windows wide open . We are about 3 ft from the road . Was annoyed but went upstairs and said you have left windows open . Earlier in year he left car unlocked on road and with keys on seat . If I go to bed before him I want to close windows so sure they are shut but he always says no , he says I said I can’t trust him this morning. I wasn’t shouting and was calm but don’t think it’s unreasonable to always want the windows shut downstairs as anyone could have climbed in . How do we get resolve this ?

Yes, I think that’s a really horrible way of putting it. And it would probably be relationship ending for me.

Downstairs windows near the street that any burglar could easily climb into?

Yes, that is pretty horrific when you think about what could have happened.

I remember I once left the keys in the doors and not-so- DH absolutely went to town on me.
3 weeks later when he left the keys in the door and I removed them, locking him inside, oh he didn’t like that. His actions were just a mistake, mine were a character flaw.
Are your mistakes just mistakes OP, or are they due to defects in your personality that need to be pointed out to you?

Instead of leaving him, just shut everything up before you go to bed! Check car etc. Guess you can't trust him for that, but don't think its so major to break up your marriage 🤩

He's just reacting defensively because you told him off. Of course you are in the right, but no one likes to be told off. And you may have spoken a bit more sharply than you remember. And he knows he did wrong. So he's sulking and cross. I would leave it for now and maybe tomorrow bring it up gently to say how important it is to you that downstairs windows are closed at night and how unsafe and vulnerable you feel if you find they have not been.

If it ever happens again, I suggest you take over that task and make sure all downstairs windows are closed before you go up to bed.

I have adhd. I’m unpredictably forgetful and I absolutely can’t trust myself. Knowing that about myself is really important.

I’m just as likely to forget that I did lock the windows, so if dh says “did you lock the windows?” as he’s drifting off to sleep, if I don’t know for certain, I bloody get out of bed and check. We also have ritual conversations of “lights off? doors locked? alarm on?” and I don’t take offence because neither of us trust me, why would we?

This is one of those issues where you need to work out if you can live with it or not. It’s not a given - for some people (like my dh, fortunately) the answer is yes and for others it’s a hard no.

It’s completely unreasonable for him to guilt you about trusting him though.

As kids, our parents used to leave those small top windows open in warm weather. We got home from school one day to find parents out and no key. One of us gave the other a leg up onto the window ledge and we were then able to lean in and open the bigger window below to climb in. If we can do it then so can a burglar. In fact my DB had his house broken into in the middle of the night whilst they (DB, SIL and 3 DCs) were in bed asleep. They stole his car keys and car as well as wallet with bank cards (which they used immediately at the local petrol station) and a purse with cash in.
Police said they put a child through the small window to the open up other access points. I wouldn't recommend leaving any downstairs windows open at night, no matter how small. Apart from anything else, you're insurance doesn't cover you if there's no sign of forced access!
I have a 'forgetful ' DH so I do all the lock/window checking before bedtime. Thankfully he doesn't stay up much later than me so hasn't objected to the downstairs windows being shut at my bedtime in this hot weather.