AIBU to feel miffed about my family getting Irish passports?

[Honeysucklelane]

AIBU to feel miffed my DH & kids are getting Irish passports? They all have UK passports and it seems a luxury to pay twice.

I can’t get an Irish passport, but my DH and DC’s can. I’ve pointed out I’ll be stuck in the long non-EU queues at airports whilst they go ahead through the EU queue.

Realistically unless any of them travel somewhere alone, it’s highly unlikely they’ll be with other family or friends with Irish passports so they’ll always be waiting on whoever they’re travelling with anyway so what is the point?

DH was very sheepish when a neighbour popped round with the signed forms this evening and was avoiding telling me what he’d dropped round for.

It's a very good idea for your.children to have EU passports it gives you more options for the future. I'm surprised you are not pleased that they are eligible for one

My husband and two DC are doing this and it didn’t even occur to be to be miffed. I’m just happy they will have more freedom to move around and work. I swear some people enjoy being pissed off.

I disagree. Being so anxious about something that to the vast majority of us wouldn't register as slightly anxiety inducing in the slightest, shows that her anxiety is extreme. It must show up in other ways too.

I don’t know - I’m kind of surprised to see you say that: I travel a lot and yet I’m always anxious about going through security. I find it an anxiety-inducing activity that you do have to learn to deal with. But I wouldn’t prevent my children from getting another passport for that reason. I’d be delighted if they could get through more easily.

I just put my anxiety down to the horrible way passengers are now treated like criminals going through security - it didn’t used to be like that - and TBF maybe I’m more sensitive due to my own childhood in Northern Ireland in the 70s. I know I’m a little snappy with people from about the night before until we’re sitting on the plane, so maybe my family would tell you I don’t actually deal with it all that well either. I’m better on my own as I don’t have to coordinate with others, but I still basically feel anxious.

Mind you, I'm not British so that's an outsider's view

We are not told that the OP is anxious about other things, only standing in a queue at immigration.

If the OP had to fly to a different country several times a week then this form of anxiety would be something she would need to manage - but it sounds as though it is once or twice a year.

It is all right to sometimes feel anxious about something. It doesn’t mean it is the job of others to support and fix every type of anxiety.

It's alright to sometimes feel anxious about something; it doesn't mean it's the job of others to support and fix every type of anxiety

This!

There is no way of telling whether people (generally, not just on this thread) are using the words anxiety and anxious where they would have used the words worry and worried a few years ago, as opposed to people who have an anxiety disorder.

Most people do not have the mental health disorder but simply worry about and dislike certain situations. It's okay to worry about and dislike queuing alone when going on your annual foreign holiday, but not a reason to demand your children be denied freedom of movement, work and study within the EU... (It seems the worry was misplaced anyway as she won't even have to queue alone).

Yes this is exactly what I was trying to say. Anxiety is not uncommon but managing it by expecting others to restrict their own options massively is unreasonable. Even when the others are one’s own children.

I find it hard to believe that she would be anxious to such an extreme about standing in an immigration queue that she won't travel alone, that that anxiety wouldn't show up in other situations in her life. None of us enjoy going through immigration, but most of us manage to do it without any drama.

People are often worried about things that baffle others. I have seen threads on here where people are appalled by the idea that they may have to get on a tube (an almost every day occurrence for me).

Similarly, I have a phobia / near phobia of chewing gum, slime and playdough. I am not worried by very much else in this world and it is my job to manage my discomfort as best I can.

We are not told that the OP is anxious / worried by anything other than the immigration queue. If this is the one thing that sets her worry / anxiety off then that is all right. The queue will end and it is okay to have feelings that are uncomfortable.

One thing that may make anxiety show up in other situations in the OP’s life is making a big deal out of this one (fairly infrequent) situation. Not all discomfort needs to be medicalised / therapised.

My kids and DH have an australian passport and i have eu. We always go with each other in the q thats faster. Never been a problem.

We will have to agree to disagree. I find it very hard to believe that someone can function completely fine in all aspects of life apart from this one very specific, and to the vast majority of people completely unremarkable, example of standing in an immigration queue.

Oh my goodness. I don’t know if they still have those sort of dinosaur skeletons in a tube. The idea is the child has to ‘excavate’ it, as it is sitting in a sort of thickish slime. Hated those things because of the slime (it wouldn't’ always come away in a neat piece), but offspring loved them.

I wouldn’t feel any warmth towards anyone who decided to bring that product to the market.

How bad are the queues, I do abroad seven times a year and haven’t experienced a long queue?

You’re missing an important point in the OP though - in fact its very basis: when someone’s unreasonable anxiety is being used to prevent other people from doing something that is useful or important to them, that’s no longer okay.

I thought this was in AIBU, why shifted to 30 days only

It's phrased as AIBI and has an YABU/YANBU poll. How odd that it's been moved!

The op might have requested it be taken down, but as nothing too identifying mumsnet moved it to 30 days as less traffic and it can then disappear after 30 days?

There were so many benefits to EU membership which people are now realising too late. I’m irish. My children have Irish citizenship through me and have both UK and Irish passports. The new esta scheme doesn’t affect Irish passport holders due to the common travel area so as long as your two passports are UK and irish you can travel in and out on either. I wave my husband goodbye in the passport queue and have the bags ready and waiting on the other side. I may ir may not send memes to him based on the great escape 🤣

Oh and another Brexit benefit is getting charged fees for using non EU / EEA issued debit and credit cards. Cheers for that.

I have a chase card. It's super easy to set up. Got no fees whatsoever. Use it all the time when in Europe.

I have a Halifax clarion card, no overseas fees. I hadn’t come across this before this week, when restaurants and hotels are pointing out that they may pass the processing fee charged to them by the payment networks on to you.

Maybe it’s just a Danish thing.

Too late to edit: Halifax Clarity card - no overseas fees from Halifax when using, but because it’s a non EU / EEA bank issued card the merchant can pass on their payment provider charges (as they are doing here in Denmark).