AIBU to feel miffed about my family getting Irish passports?

[Honeysucklelane]

AIBU to feel miffed my DH & kids are getting Irish passports? They all have UK passports and it seems a luxury to pay twice.

I can’t get an Irish passport, but my DH and DC’s can. I’ve pointed out I’ll be stuck in the long non-EU queues at airports whilst they go ahead through the EU queue.

Realistically unless any of them travel somewhere alone, it’s highly unlikely they’ll be with other family or friends with Irish passports so they’ll always be waiting on whoever they’re travelling with anyway so what is the point?

DH was very sheepish when a neighbour popped round with the signed forms this evening and was avoiding telling me what he’d dropped round for.

😄

There was a poster saying how the UK passport is shit or crap. It isn't. Many people yearn for it and wait years for it. Is a passport only worth it if it lets you to move and settle in other countries?

Thank about how many doors it opens with visa free travel. People with other passports often need to apply for schnegen visas to even visit the EU on holiday.

Yes! For me it has to be Hozier 😍

Instead the size of the diaspora is actually cited as a reason NOT to let Irish-born people vote in irish elections. France, Poland, the US and many many other countries allow it, but in Ireland it's an unpopular suggestion for reasons that are not clear to me, but that make it obvious that the diaspora can go hang.

The main reason is that people not living here could vote on something that makes it worse for the rest of us, and then not live with the consequences. A typical hypothetical would be an Irexit poll where the vote is carried by people who don't live in Ireland, the opposite of how people in Ireland voted. The wishes of those living here are ignored and those from outside get to carry on without facing any of the economic consequences.

Or look at the big US diaspora that supported the IRA in the 80's. It was very easy for them to send money for 'the struggle', despite only having a vague idea of what was going on and no knowledge of what it was like to live with the fear of getting blown up or seeing soldiers on the streets every day.

Yes, exactly. I mean, it's not that difficult to grasp.

But remember they need British passports to enter Britain (actually Irish might be fine as there’s a common travel area but check really carefully if you don’t plan to renew the British ones)

You should have posted about the real issues, which are:

1. your extreme anxiety, and
2. (although this might be as a result of number 1), the fact that your husband did this in secret.

If you are suffer from anxiety to such an extreme extent that standing in a queue alone or traveling alone feel impossible to you - and this is very extreme - it is your imperative to address the situation. It is affecting your family, not just you. If my husband was in this situation and refused to do anything to address it I'd be furious.

Are the neighbours Irish?

They don’t have to be Irish

Sorry but you’re being quite ignorant and shortsighted.

Look at the bigger picture and future benefits for them.

Oh I know what the arguments are, but giving them Irish nationality when they've never set foot in the place is equally strange. And a vote in the presidential election is not going to bring in a government of IRA supporters. Not to mention that you're conflating the current grandfather law with something that is much narrower: people who grew up in the country and moved abroas as adults.
They are no more likely to support the IRA than anyone else who grew up in Ireland. Noraid was based on a romantic invention about Ireland by and for people who'd never lived there, and its support collapsed after 9-11 for obvious reasons.

Moreover countries like Poland and Lithuania also have large disaporas (Lithuania's is greater than its current population IIRC), but they still do it.
Ireland chooses not to.

That must be one of the many things my STBXH made me believe 😂
he has dual nationality, he said he needed a professional with an Irish passport to countersign his application
I’ve read the application and this is not true, every day’s a school day

Presumably you've got the message that having these passports is great, esp for the kids, so all that's left is the real issue of queuing alone.

I'm not dismissing that, but if that's the real problem then it's time to tackle that instead of transferring the feeling to a mostly unrelated thing - you could:

• self-refer for therapy
• speak to your doctor about a propanalol prescription you can take as and when you're likely to be in a busy place alone
• work out what is making you anxious and then plan ahead (i.e. if it's the fact that X might happen, plan for a contingency ahead, etc)
• try a bit of exposure to build up your tolerance for being alone in a busy place - unsure how severe this issue is, but if you don't ordinarily go anywhere alone, try walking to the local shop and back. If it's not that bad and you can handle Tesco fine, try getting a local train one stop and back, etc
• find some guided meditation type things to handle anxiety in these situations: anxiety makes you feel like you need to take action of some kind, but there's no actual danger in being anxious. Working on acknowledging 'I'm in a queue somewhere busy alone and I'm anxious about it, BUT with a meditation or other calming thing to listen to/fiddle with/etc I can acknowledge I'm anxious but keep going'

Ultimately it sounds like an extremely limiting problem and that's no fun for you: instead of trying to shrink others' worlds around you, it's time to give yourself the benefit of expanding your own through whatever means you can find.

It is different for Irish passport holders, that rule does not apply.

The thing is, I’m not certain that being a bit anxious about standing on your own in a passport queue is grounds for help (for all that I don’t understand it). Assuming that the healthcare system will be able to resolve all problems is not all that sensible.

Looks like a UK national travelling with or to an EU spouse can apply for a family member exemption on the ETIAS when it comes in later this year - although would still need an ETIAS if not travelling with or to the spouse, or if travelling to the spouse’s country of citizenship. Would also need proof of relationship (marriage certificate etc) to show at border control. Also means you’re not restricted by the 90 days in any 180 rule.

travel-europe.europa.eu/etias/faq#exceptions-who-counts-as-family-member

My father-in-law is Irish and my children can claim Irish citizenship via the grandparents route, even though their father was born outside Ireland.

Bit racist.
Where do your children live?

Potentially. Depends what they want to study, how good their grades are etc. DH has cousins in Dublin so might be able to stay with them for a bit.

Ah ok, thanks for info. Will have to look into it a bit more

With the exception of those with Irish passports as its part of the Common Travel Area - an agreement between UK and Ireland.

DH (only) has an EU passport. Last time we travelled together he started in the All Passports queue with me and DS but when the EU queue was literally non-existent he skipped over, went through, collected the bags, signed for the hire car and was waiting for us with the keys, ready to go. DS will get an EU passport too the next time we go to DH’s home country and I’m thrilled for him that he’ll have more opportunities later in life.

I absolutely cannot imagine wanting to deprive my child of opportunities because I didn't want to stand in a queue on my own. Incredibly selfish.

There is an exception for those holding joint British/Irish nationality - they can enter the UK on their EU passport alone.

My MIL is Irish and I leapt at the chance to get my DH and kids Irish passports (as well as their British and Australian ones). Mainly so they can live and work in Europe in the future but also so can I! I can totally piggyback off my DH’s passport and if I’m with him, I can basically live as though I have a euro passport too.
I might not want to live for longer in any European country, but as we approach our 50s, it’s a nice option to have.