Would you attend a hen do with a couple of weeks' notice?

[Sishirunak40]

The wedding is on a Wednesday in August so using a couple of days annual leave. It's a few hours' drive from us, I don't think they have any links to the area or know anyone there, they just fancied having it there but fair enough I suppose.
Been invited to the hen do, whilst I appreciate the invite I've been given 12 days' notice of it and it's going to cost a few hundred pounds if I do everything. Even if I just went for the day it'd cost me over £150.
I don't have that sort of money available right before payday too. These sort of things are usually planned months in advance. I feel uncomfortable saying I can't afford it, I know people will say 'just don't go' but I feel like that doesn't wash well with everyone sadly, there is definitely a pressure to attend these events.
I'm going to say I have a pre-planned event that day, not strictly true. I could 'technically' put it on my credit card but I don't think that's sensible. I also don't want to share a hotel room with someone I've just met that day, I'm 37 and can't be doing with all that!
Aibu here? I'm sick of how grabby these events are, we're already paying a lot just to attend the wedding.

You go if you want to go and can afford it.

You decline if you don’t want to go or can’t afford it

it really is that simple

Basically I'm sick of having to use multiple days leave/book hotels for several nights and so on for weddings. I know it's simple, unfortunately some people don't take kindly to you declining these things.

Sounds like you know what you are going to do. "Sorry, too short notice, already have plans, have a lovely time & looking forward to the wedding."

Just say thanks for the invite but I can’t make it. Don’t get into any reasons etc. If need be say it was too short notice (time and/or budget wise).

If I was you I’d be saying sorry can’t make it.
There is always someone who can’t make it. And tbh with such short notice and not to sound mean, you’re prob a back up cos someone dropped out and to keep costs down…

Just say thanks but you already have plans.

Also let them judge/put pressure on you all they want - that’s a reflection on them not you.

If you’re talking credit card then you can’t afford it. Full stop.

How close are you to the bride ? If you're quite close and it's just too soon and too costly I think she's going to understand. and if you aren't close, that's fine too

Say you can’t get annual leave because it’s all booked up. Reasonable excuse, especially this time of year.

From the looks of it everyone else has only been informed today too! Never heard of one being arranged so late

With only two weeks' notice, unless asked to save the date, that surely gives you an out?
Unless maid of honour extremely disorganised, you are filling a place, surely?
So you can gracefully bow out of this with no guilt whatsoever.

It seems odd to have such short notice of an overnight m event like this - usually there has been a lot of planning.

absolutely to say ‘ah, sounds lovely but I can’t, can’t wait for the wedding though’

Don’t go op. You’re not obligated to go.

It looks like the others have only just been informed today too. I must move in the wrong circles as I don't have hundreds of pounds spare right before payday!

I would never feel any pressure to use annual leave or credit for a hen do.

I'd say 'Sending apologies for the hen do as I can't make it, I hope you all have a great time and looking forward to hearing about it at the wedding.'

If asked if say I didn't have spare holiday or money.

What's wrong with simply "Sorry I can't make it. Looking forward to the wedding"

I wouldn't be giving excuses. You're an adult and get to decide yes or no for whatever reason you want. No need to make a thing of it.

Just say no thank you

Someone has obviously dropped out and you're needed to fill the gap.

Say you have other commitments as it's too short notice. They'll find someone.

I'm just finding everything so grabby. This, baby showers and so on where the bride/mother to be doesn't have to pay a single penny. It's all just very entitled, i can't imagine expecting people to pay hundreds of pounds for me.

Just say can’t make it. For me I hate people organising things so far ahead, especially the kind of things I’ll take or leave, I love last minute because if I’m free I go, if I’m not I don’t, I’ve got a save the date for a wedding next year and they have already moved the date 3 times, just tell me when you know

I have been added to a group that was created that day where multiple people have confirmed they're attending, so it does seem like it was all put together last minute

No way has this date just been decided upon.

That's helpful, you can just say you can't make it and then everyone knows.

It's completely normal to decline some invitations.

I wouldn't be able to sort time of work with 2 weeks notice. So no I wouldn't attend.

I found out when everyone else did

Another one here saying it looks like your a place filler. Even if not, just decline, say it's too short notice, I'll bet you're not the only one who declines.