Child Maintenance reduction (informal agreement)

[Spiritualchic4]

I have been divorced for 10 years. Maintenance was court ordered for 5 years at £1550 per month, my ex earns a 6 figure salary and we have a 70/30 split. Since the agreement has become informal it has continued and I have never asked for more despite many costs increasing. I pay a lot of money out for all dance classes, competitions and shows. Along with associate costume and uniform costs. I cover all clothing costs including uniform and I even purchase clothes at Christmas and for holidays abroad. I cover everything and I’m happy to do that and to continue as is.
my ex has recently got married, was made redundant but has another job. He claims his salary is 20% less however 20% less than the salary he had 10 years ago, he most definitely will have earned more but like I’ve said I’ve never asked for more. he has suggested a 35% reducing which is significant £550 a month so £6600 per year. My stance is if things change your side they have to change my aside and I will no longer cover all dance and clothing costs. He has not suggested CMS which makes me think he is lying about salary as his offer of £1000 and I don’t know what that is based on and could be slightly more than CMS figure. I think I should ask for evidence of salary. I would consider could continuing as is until she’s 18. Anyone had a similar experience? If so, what did you do.

I'd tell him that he already has a 35% discount because he forgot to apply the inflation rise of 3.5% every year.

3.5 x 10 =35.

Have that.

That’s a very good point

1550 must have been the max CMS payment for 1 child, or close to it anyway. Just go through CMS if you are unhappy, but there’s a risk you’ll get less.

“I’m sorry but I’ve not asked what you earned since we split when you earned £x a year, not sure what this 20% drop in income takes you to. What do you earn a year now?” It would be interesting if the drop just takes him back to where he was when you split.

He said it’s £95k 10 years ago it was £120k, I reckon he was on £150k as he had a very senior job. I doubt he would have taken a £55k salary drop. He’s not an honest person unfortunately ao I don’t trust what he says.

Go through the CMS if you like. You list all the things you pay for as if you’re funding them alone with no reference to his sizeable contribution. Of course you buy your children clothes and pay for activities, who else should?

Of course I contribute however the point is I have not asked for an increase in 10 years. I’m not unreasonable.

Does his new wife have any children?

2 kids, he has no legal responsibility for them

Having children living with him would reduce the CMS payment … 24% if 2 children and 16% if more.

Why would he have to pay inflationary increases?

His new marriage isn't relevant. If you don't trust his new salary, ask for proof or go through CMS.

How much redundancy pay did he get ?

On principle I agree that he’s being quite cheeky by asking for such a reduction. He’s paid the same over 10 years when clearly costs etc have gone up over that time.

However, I’d be incredibly surprised if you’d get a claim of £1500 through CMS. Admittedly I don’t know the ins and outs of your life but CMS seems to suggest approx £1000 a month on a 95k salary and £1300 on a 120k salary, indicating he’s been paying for more than his share for some time from their perspective. As such, I’d be wary of trying to push a formal arrangement as I think you’d be worse off.

Incidentally, £1500 per month for 2 children is quite a significant contribution. On the basis that the idea is parents should make even contributions to the raising of children, you have £3000 a month to work with, which is quite a substantial amount imo.

If he has new children, or his wife has children, this will also enter into it, along with how often he has the children etc.

In all I’d be quite careful with how you proceed as he does really hold the cards if it went down the formal route

You make out you’re paying fir them - when actually what you mean is you’re simply doing the purchasing admin for items your ex is actually funding

so can say you’re not going to buy school uniforms etc but he has a right to say he is only giving you the cms and not a penny more and there’s nothing you could do about it,

he may well have taken a 50k cut . I know many people who had as markets tough especially at senior level,

he’ll also get reductions based on living with 2 other children and the overnights he has.

go through cms and see what calculation comes back ….

CMS would reduce liability due to them

What I’m saying is all the costs for dance and clothing I outlined I would expect a contribution to, perhaps 50/50. I buy holiday clothes and clothes for occasions when my child is with him, been happy to as know I’m fortunate with the maintenance.

The reality is you’re not unreasonable in principle to not want maintenance to reduce. However if he genuinely has had to take a pay reduction it’s fair snd reasonable that cms reduced in line, the only way to know is if you know his salary rather than guessing, or going his cms who will do official calculations which will reduce based on his wife’s children and number of overnights,

On the CMS calculator, if he earns £95k per year and pays for one child, lives with two other children and has them 52-103 nights per year (assumed from your 70/30 comment), he would only owe you £612.34 per month.

Incidentally, even if earning £150k per year, he would only owe you £915.29.

I would be very careful you don’t end up very considerably worse off by forcing the issue down the CMS route.

Also, you chose to have an informal agreement and his contribution takes into account that you’re paying up front for things like dance competitions, uniforms and clothes etc and that’s why he’s paying you - to compensate you for the extra expense you incur by having his children for 20% more than 50/50, so those aren’t really unfair expenses for you to bear

No idea. I’m guessing a years salary due to tenure. That has nothing to do with me. I’m not interested in his redundancy money that’s his.

I’m not asking to more just what’s fair. I don’t believe his salary has changed. If it has then things have to change my side so all the additional expenses need to be 50/50

Are you aldo spending the same amount as he is on the kids

If his salary has reduced 20% then reduction in maintenance of 20% would be fair not his suggestion of 35%

But what exactly are “additional expenses”? All expenses for your children should be covered partly by you and partly by the child maintenance received.

All he is legally required to pay is the CMS amount. If that’s £900 then you can’t force him to pay for uniform and trips on top - those costs should come out of the £900.

He’d be well within his rights to refuse to pay, and you’d either have to pay for the costs or reduce your children’s activities accordingly etc.

As a said earlier, it’s still a significant contribution to the overall cost of raising a child, so it’s not an unreasonable amount for you to receive and allocate accordingly

Who’s the driver behind all this? If he now announces
dd is taking up sailing and you need to pay 50:50
of all costs, are you in agreement?what’s the breakdown of your expenses that costs 1550x2 for your dd so £3100 a month for DDs cost of living? @Spiritualchic4

Plus the discount for the 2 kids he lives with