Child Maintenance reduction (informal agreement)

[Spiritualchic4]

I have been divorced for 10 years. Maintenance was court ordered for 5 years at £1550 per month, my ex earns a 6 figure salary and we have a 70/30 split. Since the agreement has become informal it has continued and I have never asked for more despite many costs increasing. I pay a lot of money out for all dance classes, competitions and shows. Along with associate costume and uniform costs. I cover all clothing costs including uniform and I even purchase clothes at Christmas and for holidays abroad. I cover everything and I’m happy to do that and to continue as is.
my ex has recently got married, was made redundant but has another job. He claims his salary is 20% less however 20% less than the salary he had 10 years ago, he most definitely will have earned more but like I’ve said I’ve never asked for more. he has suggested a 35% reducing which is significant £550 a month so £6600 per year. My stance is if things change your side they have to change my aside and I will no longer cover all dance and clothing costs. He has not suggested CMS which makes me think he is lying about salary as his offer of £1000 and I don’t know what that is based on and could be slightly more than CMS figure. I think I should ask for evidence of salary. I would consider could continuing as is until she’s 18. Anyone had a similar experience? If so, what did you do.

Sorry but kids don't need that much, you've been extremely fortunate getting that much. I get £300 a month for both mine.

But his maintenance IS his contribution to those expenses.

You’d have to be spending £3100 or more on your daughter per month for his half not to cover his portion of those expenses….

What is the actual amount you pay for all the things you pay out for your dd? The ballet and the clothes etc

“Unfortunately things have got more expensive not less over the last decade and I would hate to argue about this so will just go through CMS so they can do the admin”

Unfortunately you are simply wrong. His liability whether you agree or not is simply the cms amount. So if that reduces in line with his pay and assessment he is not Iiable for any extras at all unless he voluntarily agrees to it,

unless you actually know his salary you cannot determine whether is suggestion of 35% reasonable

I feel like you don’t actually understand how CMS works. That is his ONLY required contribution.

He doesn’t then have to pay you 50% of additional expense X, additional expense Y. I’d go so far as to say he’s been a really good ex if you have been separated ten years and actually think he does or that there’s any way you can make him do so.

He’s not a very high earner (by which I mean the designated category where CMS can’t deal with the maintenance fully, not that he doesn’t earn very much), so you will literally get what CMS states you’re entitled to and there’s no way of forcing a penny more out of him. As others have said, his contribution reduces significantly for the additional household
children, despite the fact they’re not his, and also due to the overnights.

I am also struggling to understand how your child costs you £3100 per month. You do understand you’re expected to also fund her yourself, he’s not expected to be covering 100% of all of her costs?

I can’t see how fair matters because if he doesn’t want to pay it then that’s that. He won’t change his mind to your version of fair, surely?

I have to say I earn £140k and I’m pretty gobsmacked he can afford £1550 per month. That’s a staggering commitment.

all you can do to force an amount is go through CMS

I’m curious as to why his CMS amount would go down due to his partners DCs? They are not his and he has no financial liability for them at all, so do CMS calculate it like he does?

Just the rules.

His income is also taken into account for benefit claims and uni loans of those kids he has no financial responsibility for

He does in a cms calculation unfortunately

That’s just how it works. You get a reduction for any children in the household.

My ex tried (and succeeded for a few months) to claim his landlady’s children to reduce his CMS. Only when I said I’d be pointing out to CMS that if they were one household would their joint tax credit claim count as income (as crazy as it was tc’s counted at the time as income from CMS) did she very firmly tell him to stop.

Sadly thats not how it works. The cms amount is the legal minimum he is required to pay and by the calculations done youd be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

If the court made an order for five years of maintenance, then this will likely have been for spousal and child maintenance, known as a global maintenance order. Normally courts don’t get involved with child maintenance unless the paying parent’s income is a lot higher than your ex’s and even if they did, either party would have been entitled to approach the CMS for a recalculation a year after the order. So you seem to have had an extra 5 years of a sum that would have covered your spousal maintenance too and he is likely to have to have overpaid.

Inflationary increases are only made if the order provides for them.

I would take the 1k a month or you can go through the CMS and they will check what his salary is.

That’s how it works. Also he has a potential legal liability for them, just not through the CMS. But if a couple divorces, the court can order a stepparent to pay maintenance for a child of the family which would include stepkids who had lived with the couple.

How does this work when the father is unemployed or claiming his self employment earns him the bare minimum, and he pays £7,50 a week?

Why would you expect a 50/50 contribution to those things? They are covered by maintenance.

You need to go to CMS if you don’t believe his income.

as pp have said it isn’t you paying for everything you list. You have a budget of over 3k just for the kids- that’s more that most families household income.

if you want to punish the kids by withdrawing the activities you pay for that’s on you.

do you work?

As PP says, if 95k, 30%, living with 2 children, all he owes you is about £600 via CMS.

And your comments about “well everything else has to be 50/50 then”… good luck. You might want that, but all he legally has to pay and contribute is CMS amount. If you want to watch another £400 disappear as well as make the relationship frosty to be worse off financially then feel free to go via CMS.

Maintenance is for clothing. And dance classes. And anything else you choose to buy for your child. There are no additional expenses. If you spend more, that’s your choice.

DH’s maintenance was in a consent order, set for 15 years and there was no inflationary increase; the amount remained the same. He went to the CMS after a number of years after his ex kept asking for more money, when his income had reduced, and it the amount was reduced significantly in term as well as amount.

Have a look at the CMS calculator, but the chances are you could be worse off; certainly if he lives with/has more DC

Have you looked him up on LinkedIn and then cross checked the possible salary on glass door? Have you looked at the industry media - in my husbands industry high level moves written about (not in mine but we do have a pay scale that’s published).
Im not divorced but did some research with a friend who was struggling … the salary cap was £156k and that meant you’d get £1500 ish per month, but it did say that for very high earners it could be negotiated.

Realistically, that is for mega-high earners who are miles and miles beyond this amount in earnings. Not someone who earns £200k, otherwise there would be no point to have a cap in place.

It doesn't. Unfortunately. I paid 100% of my eldest kids costs due to the dad having only paid the grand sum of £15 over 16 years.

Different situations. But if someone paying you £1500 for one kid then unless you are coughing up more than then no need to whine

Doesn’t matter. He’d still get a reduction. which has never made any sense to me.

Pre splitting, my ex h used to boast about his 100k salary.

He saw ds one weekend a month.

He very quickly moved in with a woman with three children and gleefully told me he would be paying less maintenance now.

Over the next 15 years, he continued to boast about new jobs but then would be red faced and spluttering that they didn’t pay anymore money, the twat. When ds was leaving college all of a sudden, would you belive it; he was suddenly a partner on 200k! Over night, on the day he had to stop paying maintenance!! What luck! 🙄

We never went through CMS.

Looking back, I should have done, but him and his family were such pricks. He held every penny of the maintainance he did pay over my head. I’m time I met now dh who paid for everything for my ds anyway and is still the one to support him when he needs it now that ds is 23.

The extra money wasn’t worth the extra bullshit to me.

It sounds like he’s being overpaying. I got 1465 for two children who I had full time and my exes income was 131k after pension contributions.

Can’t see how you’d get more for one child who he actually has overnight regularly.

I think op only has 1 child. He has 2 stepchildren with new wife.