Neighbour annoyed at me for asking her not to collect our washing in.

[Firefliesdancing]

I arrived home today to find the washing had disappeared off the line that I’d put out this morning before work. It had rained heavy but I wasn’t too worried as I knew the weather was going to be scorching hot so they would be dry regardless. No note had been left, so looked on our cctv to find the neighbour over the back garden had got her husband to climb over on some ladders and take them in after peering in our back patio doors after realising we wern’t in.

We’ve only spoke to these neighbours a handful of times. It has made us feel slightly uncomfortable as I hate the thought of someone else handling my underwear/clothes/bedding. We went round with a small box of chocolates to say thanks and retrieve them. We asked them not to do it again politely and just leave them out as we have a drier if they can’t get dry naturally, thanked them again and left.

Unfortunately they are smokers (we are not) so our clothes had a whiff of stale smoke on them so rinsed them back through and put them back on the line as it was still boiling hot outside all dried within the hour. Knock on the door 20 minutes later after I’d taken them in. I assumed something was left so wasn’t expecting her to start having a go on the doorstep saying we’re not dirty you know, we did you a favour, not everyone is as nice as us we like to do things for people.

I was a bit taken aback so just said I’m sorry we’re trying to put the kids to bed, again thank you for your kindness and closed the door.

Does anyone else find this behaviour bizarre…maybe it’s the heat, I’m tired and I’ve missed something…is it the norm for people you don’t really know to collect your washing in when it rains?

Do the people in your small Welsh town often use ladders to access neighbour's properties to remove their laundry, which even if it did get wet would have dried again in minutes, and then store the laundry in a smoky environment? Especially when there was a shelter on the OP's own property where they had left their own laundry basket?
Really?

I'm knocking on 60 and as a kid people always took each other's washing in if it rained and they were out. Quick knock on the door to check. It was just neighbourly and dryers weren't as common so getting washing dry was a task!
Tbh though whilst we are friendly with neighbours all our gardens have fences, gates and security.

People access your garden with a ladder when you are out, remove all your washing and keep it in their fag-scented house for hours for you to have to later re wash, often, do they?!

I thought adults only new build estate. Like swingers paradise, or a retirement village, same thing, maybe

Most people hang it out in the Highlands of scotland.

Nope they didn’t, we looked at the doorbell camera too and they didn’t come round and knock at all. We normally have the doors wide open when we’re in as we love fresh air and airing the house out. When we go out everything is locked up windows and doors for security especially on the bottom floor. So I’m assuming they automatically thought we were out.

I'm a bit torn on whether getting someone's washing in is weird or not - would say it's based on your relationship with neighbours?

We had neighbours in the past that would shout over our fence or drop a text if knew we were in, to highlight it's raining (I had very young children then so was likely preoccupied, and also appreciated the warning of impending rain!). I have however tucked a neighbour's pushchair and parcels further under cover when there's been a downpour 🤔 but then we've usually had mobile numbers "incase anything happens". Family or friends doing so? I wouldn't mind so much.

I'd say the neighbour (unless you've a history with them being medley!) were trying to be nice BUT they should've respected when you asked that they leave it next time (as you did, politely). If I had been the neighbour seeing the washing back out again, I'd shrug my shoulders and leave it be, thinking maybe you're just particular (we're a diverse household and how things are organised/folded/perfumes of others is tricky here, so everything has that mindset).

To add, I totally get the smoke smell though, rank! I definitely would've re-washed with NO consideration to their feelings 🙈 I mean, what a daft thing to get offensive over. Have they been a neighbour long or is being 'thoughtful' a new thing for them? Heck would I climb a fence for the trouble of anyone's clean washing, sorry, I don't prioritise washing that much 🤪

Perhaps you need to re-read my posts. We acknowledged their kindness, said thank you and gave them a small gift.

I have already said that our clothes were stored in their conservatory where they smoke, for just over 10 hours. Not going to put up with clothes smelling of smoke and they were still damp from the rain. I have lovely kind neighbours who know our boundaries and vice versa next to us.

It could be raining blood and I would not in any way shape or form CLIMB a fence to go into another persons garden to take in clothes. I would be disgusted if someone did it to mine too. It is quite literally crossing a boundary (fence or wall) and is in no way acceptable. It is rain ffs and they are only clothes anyway and can be replaced if somehow rain damaged them.

Or just like to pat themselves on the back for being "good" neighbours? People who do things because they think you ought to be grateful are pains.

We don’t really know them…we’ve only spoke a handful of times…seen each other out and about locally and acknowledge each other but don’t really chat. They don’t have our numbers. We went round once when we first moved in to make them aware we were having our garden landscaped and any dust on their windows we would have someone come round and clean etc which we did. They’ve lived here before us this is coming up to our 8th year they have older children one who visit with their grandchildren. We know they can be gossips as we sometimes hear them yapping away about various people on the close. Those on holiday and how can they afford it, someone whose had a baby and left them for someone who works locally that type of stuff. It’s not really our thing so tend to just be breezy with them.

We also see them in the local sometimes and say hi/bye but that’s about it.

Are you serious?

I never hang washing out due to wood pigeons, flying insects and pollen. In hot weather I tumble dry just the smalls and hang everything else in the conservatory which hit 40°C the other day. Otherwise I tumbledry everything other than items which cannot be tumbled, which is quite a lot.

The smell of cigarette smoke clings to clothing and penetrates even through plastic carrier bags packed away in a suitcase as I discovered after visiting some smoker in-laws. If not washed promptly the smoke goes stale and smells even worse. If my washing had gone in a smoking house every last item would have to be washed again.
Before we had a glass roof on the conservatory it had a leaky solid roof and mouldy carpet and curtains, which also caused anything hung in there to have a peculiar musty smell. Another cause of musty smells is when the washing machine gets whiffy & needs a hot maintenance wash.
I certainly would cringe at the thought of neighbours going through our underwear and clothing some of which isn’t in the newest condition, I’d be raging at that let alone invading the garden to do so, it’s way beyond the call of duty!

Eww, then can go back to their pit, definitely over familiar and pushing boundaries! I'd have assumed you were new to the area and needed reassuring they were ok (you know, 'we like a quiet life but happy to take a few parcels/check on your dog/pick up some milk when poorly' 🤭 ... no, we don't have a neighbour like that, but I'd like one 😁 but not one that jumps fences and handles my kacks!).

Sure you'll feel your ears burning soon (not from a lit cigarette I hope 🤪) but at least your washing is smoke free!

No disagreement from me here! We have some positives, but as a country I think we're also quite self-centered.

@Mumwithagreenhouse "Do people really still hang washing out?! I haven’t seen anyone do that for 20+ years! Wow. I live in a lovely AONB so not in a suburban city or anything, yet clothes stink if they’re hung outside."

So you live in an area of outstanding natural beauty and yet gratuitously contribute to greenhouse gas emissions by tumble drying everything? And no doubt you equally contribute to the terrible burden of chemical and plastic waste through heavy use of fabric conditioner. The irony surely can't escape you. Everyone I know hangs their washing out as standard. Not only is it immeasurably better for the environment but your clothes last longer and smell fresher. So unless you live next door to the sewage works or a pig farm, there's no excuse except laziness.

Total weirdos and dirty smokers. I'd be tempted to put barbed wire up 🙈🤣

💯 % this

You sound a bit unhinged too actually.

Thanks for contributing to climate change, I think it's made a difference.....

Why don’t lots of people in America hang their washing out-I didn’t know this was a thing?! What’s the reasoning?

Surely individuals can still do it, even if it’s not ‘the done thing’!

My theory is that she took offence because by rewashing the clothes you spoiled her nasty game.

She was angry because after she and her husband had amused themselves wiping their sweaty arses on your clean clothes you were supposed to wear them, so she and her husband could have a good laugh about you cluelessly wandering around wearing their bodily fluids.

Next time you see her tell her that she stinks, her husband stinks, her house stinks, and if either of them trespass into your garden again you'll be highly displeased.

@Firefliesdancing I'm with you. The smell of cigarettes is disgusting and clings to everything.

Yes in their eyes not in mine, we were still gracious though a lot of people commenting would not have been. How exactly am I supposed to have discretion? Leave it for a few days smokey and damp in a basket…put them in the drier and make the house even hotter…yesterday I just wanted to come home after a very hot day of visits, climbing stairs, report writing in very hot rooms, not traipse round to someone’s house and back with two baskets full of washing that could have been left under a cover at our back door or better still left on the line, take the washing in and put away…or should I hang them indoors we only have a few racks in the utility room?

They’ve took random offence it’s a them problem not ours.

I have no interest in being funny with them they’ve done a good deed that didn’t go unappreciated, they received a gift. Unfortunately for me had the faff of rewashing and redrying luckily all done and sorted in under two hours but could have done without in one of the hottest days of the year…I like the smell of our washing powder/softener as do the rest of my family not stale smoke.

Off topic but I dry my washing in my flat roof (as washing machine is upstairs) and forgot it there last week and staying overnight with a friend when there were strong winds overnight.
When I got home next day suprised to find a neat pile in my garden held down with a brick saying they’d collected it from the car park next door it had blown into, and realised it must be mine as the dryer on the roof was up-ended.
Sadly no number for me thank them 😂

It used to be common where we lived if it rained but we could just walk into our neighbours garden. Re-washing it all really looks like you think they have sullied your clothes, which I guess you think they did. I think I would have put them back in the washing tub and re-washed another day it was a pretty blatant insult after someone thought they were doing a favour.