Was I wrong to move to the spare seat next to my husband?

[Inastatus]

I’m just after opinions on a situation I had on the plane yesterday. 5 of us flying - only 3.5 hour flight so didn’t pay to book seats. Airline put 3 of us together but split the other 2 - me and DH volunteered to sit away from each other. No problem with that, that’s the chance you take if you don’t pay to reserve seats.

However, before take- off someone moved seats leaving an aisle seat right next to DH’s aisle seat so I asked one of the cabin crew if it was ok for me to move there and he said yes once we had taken off. As soon as seatbelt lights turned off I moved and started chatting to DH. The woman I sat next to tapped me on the arm and said quite rudely ‘our son is coming to sit there - we asked’. I was a bit taken aback so just mumbled ‘I asked too’. Obviously I didn’t want to cause a fuss or get cabin crew involved as I didn’t want to sit next to disgruntled passengers for the rest of the flight so I went back to my original seat. The mother immediately put her rucksack on the seat to save it and eventually her son, who was in his 30’s, wandered down to sit there.

Am I right in thinking that they were no more entitled to the seat than me and her rude attitude was really uncalled for?

I would have been annoyed that it was an adult too. I would have assumed a child or at least a teenager. They had no more right to the seat than you did. And you got there first. You did nothing wrong.

If I had an empty seat next to me on take off and then some random stranger plonked themself down in it as soon as the seatbelt signs went off, I’d want to stab them.

OP I would’ve stood my ground because you were actually in the seat and the son wasn’t. Simple as. He clearly wasn’t a child or he wouldn’t have been in a seat away from the parents. I also select aisle seats with my partner, we sit and chat across the aisle, means we can still get out for the loo and off board quickly. No point dwelling now though

Its not your seat! Nimbyism at its finest

But the joy, the absolute joy of watching the plane fill up and nobody sits next to you. You hardly dare to hope. And then you take off and you’ve got this blessed extra space. And then the seatbelt sign goes off and your little bit of happiness gets cruelly snatched away.

@LiteraryBambi - god you do go on 😅 Obviously I was prepared to not chat to DH and I was fine with that but when the potential opportunity arose to sit right by him I took it (or tried to!). Whether you consider that a pointless exercise or not is not the point of my thread - it’s whether the other passenger was more entitled to the seat!!

DH and I normally go for seats across the aisle from one another on shorthaul as we both prefer aisle seats. It’s almost impossible to chat, the plane is noisy, the cabin crew and other passengers are constantly passing, we maybe char a bit to the people next to us instead or listen to audiobooks, we’ll have the whole rest of the holiday for chatting. I mean we talk a bit, offer each other sweets or whatever but you can’t chat properly.

You've no more right to an empty seat next to you than OP has to sit in it. If the crew said she could move, that's all there is to it. The default is someone will be next to you. You shouldn't be annoyed at receiving the expected thing you paid for.

But as to whether she was more entitled or not, you were equal, she held her ground, you didn’t. She did nothing wrong.

I wouldn't have moved out of the seat again, so more fool you!

I’m team OP - that woman was rude. In the same situation, I’d like to think I’d have stood my ground, but in all likelihood I would have done exactly what you did, then spent some time annoyed with both her and myself.

I take it your children were happy enough being seated together with no parent attending. In fact since you didn’t reserve seats, you’d have been prepared in the worst case to accept all five of you being spread around the plane. So all in all, not a bad outcome compared to what it could have been, except for that rude, rude woman!

the children are 19 and 21

If the other woman asked first then she was in the right.

There is no way of knowing who asked first that’s why I didn’t bother getting cabin crew involved. I guess it was just her rude attitude that pissed me off. If she had spoken to me nicely I wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

@shockthemonkey - thanks. Yeah, my kids are grown up now so we don’t pay for seats. Of course back when they were little we certainly did used to reserve seats together.

You weren't in the wrong and you shouldn't have moved when she rudely tapped you. You got there first, you snooze you lose. Likewise if she/her son had got there first, there wouldn't be much you could do about it either.

I say you shouldn't have moved, in reality I most likely would have been the same as you and just moved to save the aggro and 3.5 hours of awkwardness and evil eyes boring into you 😆

Meh - if i was the woman I’d rather have sat by my son than a random, but both of you could have booked seats if it was important to you.
I think people should stay in their seats regardless -last flight we took a man spent the entire time getting up and down to go and talk to the rest of his party who were at the back of the plane, on a short flight, he was annoying everyone around him.

Did the woman and the cabin crew maybe orchestrate the first move for her son. Maybe he’s disabled or something you might not notice on first glance. The crew member you asked maybe didn’t know the circumstances behind the move so said you could have it.

she was perhaps a bit heavy handed but I would assume positive intent and try not to give it any more headspace.

See also: would've.😁

Your common sense has no place here! 😂

It's cabin crew who basically 'double booked' you. But essentially you sat there first so you should have called over the flight attendant who gave you permission and they can explain themselves to the woman.

I don't think she was in the wrong. Though she shouldn't have been rude. She asked and so did you, so I can see her thinking you had done so after she did. Or assuming you didn't ask.

But the son should have come quicker really if it was going to be a scramble. Either way it's the staff's fault.

What are you talking about?

I'm assuming she asked the person originally sitting there if they minded swapping so she can sit with her son, they move and then you plonk yourself there instead...

I thought the same. Nobody was right or wrong.

She should have moved quicker. OP got there first.