Was I wrong to move to the spare seat next to my husband?

[Inastatus]

I’m just after opinions on a situation I had on the plane yesterday. 5 of us flying - only 3.5 hour flight so didn’t pay to book seats. Airline put 3 of us together but split the other 2 - me and DH volunteered to sit away from each other. No problem with that, that’s the chance you take if you don’t pay to reserve seats.

However, before take- off someone moved seats leaving an aisle seat right next to DH’s aisle seat so I asked one of the cabin crew if it was ok for me to move there and he said yes once we had taken off. As soon as seatbelt lights turned off I moved and started chatting to DH. The woman I sat next to tapped me on the arm and said quite rudely ‘our son is coming to sit there - we asked’. I was a bit taken aback so just mumbled ‘I asked too’. Obviously I didn’t want to cause a fuss or get cabin crew involved as I didn’t want to sit next to disgruntled passengers for the rest of the flight so I went back to my original seat. The mother immediately put her rucksack on the seat to save it and eventually her son, who was in his 30’s, wandered down to sit there.

Am I right in thinking that they were no more entitled to the seat than me and her rude attitude was really uncalled for?

So the other women should have been the doormat instead? There was no reason for OP to be more entitled to that seat than the other woman. And again, I think the seat being right next to the other woman, rather than across the aisle, gives her slightly more say.

But this is exactly what the woman was doing too, moving her adult son next to the OP DH, so neither of them were right or wrong.

OP you should've stood your ground. Her ds was no more entitled to the seat than you was and you probably would've found the staff would've just said neither of you could have it and both parties sit in their allocated seats instead rather than get involved.

The empty seat belonged to the airline, there's no "more say," or "less say" to this...

Most places if seat movement is allowed after take-off it's first come first served....

You did absolutely nothing wrong and she was rude. But I think you made a wise choice to move back rather than stay next to her, sounds like she’d have been a huffer. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Again, why should OP have stood her ground, and not the other woman?

Presumably if the other woman had posted here, everyone would have been telling HER to stand her ground!

It was just one of those situations that couldn't be resolved. Both women had asked and got permission, but only one of them could be accommodated.

In the absence of any other deciding factor, I think the person that the seat is next to (as in they'd be touching whoever sat there) has the edge.

No one was in the wrong, she was simply more assertive than you.
You can either accept you'll sometimes not get what you want unless youre more assertive, or become more assertive 😇

If it was just am across aisle seat from your DH, I don't think I would have bothered to move at all for a short flight. What was the point?

No one is entitled to the spare seat but the woman had more chance of conversing with her DS sat next to her than you would from across the aisle. The cabin crew, trolleys and other passengers would be going up and down the aisle for the 3.5 hours (deduct take off and landing) so am struggling to see your logic.

I'd say that it's the person who actually asked the cabin staff who is first served. The problem here is that they both did.

@LiteraryBambi
Eh? The airlines consider these seats next to each other when we’ve travelled as a family of 4. How wide do you think the aisle is?? I was able to converse perfectly well with DH before I was told to move! Oh and the other passenger’s DS sat with his headphones in most of the time.

That's fine as an idea but in the real world how the heck do you actually police that?

Well there's a lesson in being assertive for you. Neither of you was wrong, she asserted her position, you caved in. She wins.

Yeah but you're still leaning over the aisle and people will be walking between you, including the drinks trolley. So what was the point for a 3.5 hour flight?

But you don’t own that empty seat. Yes it’s nice to have but it’s not yours to complain about it

I’m most baffled that middle seat woman didnt immediately move to the aisle once the occupant left leaving the middle seat free for the precious middle aged child. I would of (sic) done

@LiteraryBambi - because for most of the flight I would have been able to chat with DH! 3.5 hours is still a fair amount of time but it’s fine if you don’t get that.

she was more assertive
i guess you both asked
not worth the aggro though

I don't get that you couldn't go a few hours without chatting to your DH from across the aisle, no. I'd understand if you were next to him and could fall asleep on his shoulder (handy) but just read a book or listen to a podcast.

You probably both asked different people. As the seat was next to her and she was pushy then her son got it. If you want to sit next to someone and chat for a few hours then you can pay for it.

Personally I’d rather have 3.5hrs chat and husband free 🤣

That’s what I thought.

Me too!

Both the OP and her DH were sitting separately from the other 3 people on their group - there’s no mention of them being children.

I guess ultimately the simple answer, and the one the cabin crew may well have used if they had been dragged into this, is:

"Nobody moves from their assigned seat"....

Nobody cares if you’re annoyed. When you fly, you don’t expect there to be empty seats around you. OP didn’t think she had a right either, she asked staff if she could move. What makes you think you have any right to control a seat you didn’t pay for?

The OP wasn’t sitting with her child……she was sitting alone!