Daughter has come out as gay

[alwaysanewbuild]

My DD has come out as gay. It was a bit of a shock but I love her unconditionally and have accepted it. At Christmas she announced to several close family members that she was gay (she had drunk rather a lot of alcohol) they all hugged her.
There are two family members who I’m very close to who didn’t attend the gathering (they are elderly) but I imagine they will have heard

i am due to see them on Sunday. Do I mention it to them? They are lovely people but old fashioned ideas. I don’t want it to become a thing that is not spoken about and it to be awkward

I think the OP and CRCGran are both deeply homophobic and insecure individuals. It doesn’t take much critical thinking to work that one out.

But we can agree to disagree.

As a lesbian, I am always a bit conflicted by this thing that (usually straight) people say - "Would you announce that they are straight?" As a way to suggest that people don't need to "come out".

I get that it is supposed to be supportive and appreciate that, but it is also really unrealistic. The fact is, gay people are basically forced to "come out" again and again and again throughout life as they meet new people. It absolutely is something that happens because general, people are assumed to be straight. And it is something which I still find slightly anxiety inducing because people do still judge and can still be weird about it.

If I were your daughter, I would definitely appreciate it if you were to mention it to (especially older) family members. Just give a heads up so your daughter doesnt need to worry or feel pressure about telling them herself, and so she doesnt have to see any negative reaction if there is one! But other gay people may feel totally differently to me and want to tell them themselves, or not want them to know at all. Who knows?

The only way you can be sure is to ask your daughter herself.

Being gay is NOT a lifestyle choice!

Sorry what?

Is being a sanctimonious ass hat your lifestyle choice?

If it's your second language or your tenth, "I don't want her to be a lesbian" means you don't want her to be a lesbian.

For gods sake. This makes me so cross.

It’s not a bloody life style choice. It’s love.

I totally agree with you.

My daughter's a lesbian and - unlike all the parents you know, apparently - I WAS delighted when she told me.

The increased availability and changing quality of pornography has warped boys' and men's expectations so that degrading and dangerous practices are often seen as the norm. I'm hopeful that my daughter will have better experiences with women.

The overwhelming majority perpetrators of of domestic violence and murder of intimate partners are men. The overwhelming majority of victims are women. I know that my daughter will be safer with a female partner.

Of course, I would love my daughter whether she was gay, straight or bi and would want her to be comfortable in herself. But as a mum, we never stop wanting to protect our children, and from a practical, safeguarding point of view, it's been a relief.

Why do people claim EAL as an excuse when they’re been caught out!?

Is anyone delighted if their child is straight? I can’t imagine feeling ‘delight’ at my child’s sexuality regardless of what it is because I’m not a weirdo.

You really think being gay is a lifestyle choice?

What century do you reside in?

I really hope you didn't say that to your daughter.

Being gay isn't a lifestyle choice.

i am sorry you are facing such an attack on here op.
i would leave it
it is her preference and her story to tell, irrelevant

I have never in my life heard a gay person say they would rather be straight.

Sexuality isn’t a preference.

why not now?