My Dad married a woman twenty years younger, he will likely die before her. Does that mean I am unlikely to inherit?

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I think it does doesn’t it?

I don’t think it is unreasonable to think about an inheritance. Not just money but items that hold a sentimental value.
My poor father had to go to an auction to bid for things he were important to him and he remembered fondly. As his father had married again they did not mean anything to his second wife’s family at all.
When people marry again the first family can feel pushed away from inheriting anything sentimental as well as financial. Which can hurt a great deal.
Unless specified in a Will the new wife will inherit all. Money and all things within the home.

It’s so weird to me how so many adults put so much focus on focus on whether they will or won’t inherit. I have never understood it. My parent’s money is their money as far as I am concerned. I hope they live the lives they want and if anything is left - cool. I would be more thinking about the fact my dad married a woman his daughter’s age! 🤮

As for you your dad maybe too enamoured of his younger woman or he could actually seek advice to ensure all his kids are catered for in his will.

Or he may simply spend it all travelling before he dies and his kids / widow get nothing.

My mum remarried when she was in her 60s to a ma who was about ten years older than her. They moved house to make a fresh start together and bought it as tenants in common so they could each will their share to their own children. They agreed that whichever of them outlived the other would have the right to live in the house for as long as they wanted. My stepfather died within a couple of years, and my mum lived in the house for another 30 years. When she went into care, the house was sold and my stepfather’s daughters received their 50% share of the house.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. What a nasty thing to do to ones own child. Sending you hugs. I wish you a happy and fulfilling life 🤗

It isn't an awful thing to ask but people on here love to call others grabby and entitled. I don't get it because my kids are in their early twenties now and I'm desperate to protect their inheritance. I also have two life insurance policies. I will never re-marry and probably never let anyone move in with me. They know how much they will get if I die and I wouldn't mind if they talked about it.

I think it's awful when people re-marry and don't leave a will and I imagine men are far more likely not to protect their children's inheritance.

If he dies without a will, she will inherit, as she is his wife and has every right to do so under the law.

If he dies with a will, his estate will go to whomever he chooses to name in that will. It's up to him to decide who that is. You're not automatically entitled to anything.

If you're married / choose to get married, exactly the same would apply to you, as your husband's wife, when he dies.

DH has kids, we don't have any together. The will at the moment means I buy his kids out the house so they aren't waiting for me to die. But we might change it to a trust situation so it's in trust for them (they are in their late 20s and we are both about to hit 60).

But I don't know to be honest if he's discussed it with them. I think I might suggest he does once we've got it settled. Got a good relationship with them.

@Thephantom Thank you so much. I told people what she'd done and they were incredulous. I look at it this way - Would I rather be my sister with half or me with 1/8 and I'd definitely rather be me.
Under Scottish law I was able to claim a quarter of her monetary assets but not of her property so that was a slight improvement.

I don’t disagree it’s their money and they should spend it and enjoy it, and anything left is a bonus. I do understand why it would feel unfair for one’s parent’s lifetime assets to go to a relatively new spouse and then potentially to their totally unrelated offspring. Many people agree on this and make provision for it if they remarry.

But why is it weird? I inherited a house and if I hadn't then I don't actually know what I'd have done because I'm autistic, disabled and have two autistic DS's. If we hadn't inherited we'd have probably been homeless eventually. So obviously the inheritance was a huge focus.

I don't understand why you wouldn't understand that. Do you only know 'normal' people?

Exactly how I feel - and that sentiment has been echoed in inheritance law in many countries for generations.

It may not apply to every family situation, but it certainly is not a left field or unnatural instinct.

I think it’s perfectly fine to wonder about this. I don’t know the answer though. My aunt married a man 22 years older than her and she died before him. So there’s no guarantee she will outlive him. Not that I would wish death upon her! But I do think finances within families should be discussed more openly than they are. People seem to think it’s morbid or inappropriate, when in fact it’s very prudent.

We got nothing from my DF. His wife has done very well for herself. My DM is also passed. Neither of our parents protected their children trusting the other would do the right thing. My DF chose his new wife. Frustrating but his choice.
My biggest bugbear will be it going to her family when she dies.

Something similar has happening out family. Grandad married a (slightly) younger women, who has a child between mine & my mum's age. He passed away, leaving everything to the wife. She's ignored our efforts to keep on touch and made it clear she's going to leave everything to her child alone. I can't imagine grandad would have wanted mum disinherited, I think he thought the wife would "do the right thing", but as he's not here we'll never know.

I actually don’t even understand why it would be viewed as “unfair”. It’s their money. Unless it was promised and then that promise ignored in death.

I agree i think as many problems (both on here and in RL) come as much from the lack of communication as they do from the actual contents of the will.

Hell would freeze over before the house and savings my husband and I have worked hard for would go to a future partner on either side and not to our children. (whatever left after care needs etc).

Because it’s somebody else’s money. I don’t get fixating on what one’s parents do with their money. I will never get it.

We had similar in our family when my grandmother wanted to downgrade home to release equity and my uncle was outraged at the potential reduction in his expected inheritance. I told my nan to release her equity and go spend it. (Which she did spend a bit on a long trip overseas to see her siblings). I didn’t my uncle’s attitude then and will always find it weird when people are thinking about inheritance.

Or (in UK) a will prepared before the marriage in accordance with the conditions ‘in contemplation of’ said marriage.

If he needs a care home or a lot of home care, any money will slowly evaporate anyway.

But, inheritances are basically down to whoever decides the Will, before they die. . They’re not a right.

There may not be any money left. He might have spent it all on holidays and watches. Or it'll go on care fees.

Unless he actually showed you a will saying you will inherit xyz then you really can't expect or rely on any money at all coming to you when someone passes. Even then he could change it.

He may even outlive you.

So the best way to think of it is that there's no expectation so you can't be disappointed.

Assuming this is UK if she hasn't kept up National Insurance contributions she will not get state pension.

There's a lot of ways your dad's will can play out. You'd be better of asking your dad if you want to know for sure. Chat GPT isn't an oracle anymore than MN hive mind is.

Same here. My dad remarried a woman who came into the marriage with the clothes on her back, a dog on a string and two sons. Dad died 15 years ago and at the time my sibling and I were told that the agreement between SM and dad was that their estate would ultimately be divided between their 4 children (none joint). We understand now that this is not going to happen and it will all go to her sons, one of whom is a very successful businessman who lives abroad.
I always suspected this would be the case so have never factored any inheritance from anyone into my life plans.

I think communication about contents is part of good will planning. We are a ‘blended family’ and all 5 children know the terms of the will.

I can't imagine anyone in this situation wouldn't have this thought at some point.