How to politely ignore a message

[seasmussealife1]

I have a mum friend who I've politely stepped back from for my own reasons, which she knows but I guess doesn't understand I don't want to engage with her.

She's how ever indirectly and now directly asked me about my son's injury, it's just a small scrape on the face he did at nursery. I just don't want to tell her. It's partly me stepping back and also because she tells a lot of things about other people to me, I don't want the same happening. And also because she may use it for wild stories she tells.

I don't want to be specific but the best part is that she exagerates.

How do I politely respond without giving her details?

Just say “oh it’s nothing, just a scrape” and if she persists with a follow up question, just ignore the text.

“Oh it’s nothing to worry about.” and then stop replying. Wait 3 days and reply “oh sorry forgot to reply!” If she replies again, wait 5 days and just leave it on read. If she replies again “sorry I am terrible at checking my messages.” Then never reply again.

Just reply once, its really nothing and leave it like that. She'll soon get the message

All sounds a bit dramatic! “Oh, he’s fine. Thanks for asking.”

‘He’s fine, nothing to discuss really’.

It does sound dramatic. What possible devious use can she put a scratch at nursery to? Is she going to start a campaign against the child who did it? Or claim your illegal pet tiger did it?

A bit odd that she’s messaging you about this. I could understand if she saw you and child in person and asked. Just don’t reply.

How odd. I might be tempted to just reply with an ?

How is she messaging you? If it is on WhatsApp you can just mute her and not read the messages.

So she saw him at pick up and indirectly asked via what's app (saying she saw my child briefly and hope he's ok). And now she directly messaged saying is he ok, how's his head injury.

She's autistic so I don't know how to handle it

Which I did a few days ago

Well, just say ‘Still fine!’

Just ignore

This is genius - I am totally adopting this approach

DO THIS! its a gradual disappearing so doesnt feel as harsh as a sudden non reply

I have used it a few times with people I am not keen on, works perfectly tis a free get of jail card. 😁

Gee whizz. One of my closest friends waited 3 days and did the ‘I forgot to reply’ thing when I told her I was struggling as I was physically very unwell. Good to know I wasn’t imagining that it felt cold/stand offish.

Which I did at the time. Now she's obviously wanting further details.

Yeah that's wrong and obviously she's not your friend

What's the question mark for

But so what? You’re not obliged to provide them if you don’t want to.

To be honest, you’re coming across as a bit odd on this too. The other mother has sent two texts hoping your child is ok. You are interpreting this as her looking for gossip material. However, there doesn’t appear to be any ‘story’ to disclose, or any secret information you need to conceal, so you just say ‘Fine, he’s forgotten about it’ again, surely?

Just ignore her and don’t feel any guilt to someone who is intrusive and pestering. Her manipulative behaviour shouldn’t be rewarded - the silence will give her time to reflect.

And anything further from you is just falling into her trap of re establishing a conversation, connection, relationship with you.

She doesn’t care about your DS. Know that.

How many times have you replied?
If it’s once and now she’s asked again I’d go with the “he’s still fine”.
if you’ve replied twice and she still asking then it’s nosiness and I definitely would ignore completely.

I'm not coming across as odd. Stop being weird. I've told you in the opening post I've stepped back from her. She's a gossip

But what could there possibly be to gossip about in an ordinary minor scrape at nursery? It’s not clear what you think she’s going to do with any information you give her, unless you’re about to drip feed that your arch-enemy’s child did the scratching, and is being expelled from the nursery for repeated violence or something.

Either way, you don’t need to say anything other than ‘He’s fine, thanks’.