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Original poster

How to politely ignore a message

91 replies

seasmussealife1 · 02/05/2026 22:29

I have a mum friend who I've politely stepped back from for my own reasons, which she knows but I guess doesn't understand I don't want to engage with her.

She's how ever indirectly and now directly asked me about my son's injury, it's just a small scrape on the face he did at nursery. I just don't want to tell her. It's partly me stepping back and also because she tells a lot of things about other people to me, I don't want the same happening. And also because she may use it for wild stories she tells.

I don't want to be specific but the best part is that she exagerates.

How do I politely respond without giving her details?

OP posts:
Original poster
seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 13:05

Barrenfieldoffucks · 04/05/2026 16:58

It isn't "getting own way". One brain type might not like it, but can rationalise or and move on if that is the grown up thing to do, the other may not.

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It's her way of communicating. It suggests that the NT way is the fault.

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Original poster
seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 13:07

MeAndLicorice · 04/05/2026 17:09

I have a lot of autistic relatives, and can easily imagine one in particular carrying on like this about a minor non event. I am now brutally direct every time, as otherwise she builds it up into something insane and then tells everybody else about her version.

In your shoes I would reply “He does not have a head injury. He had a minor scrape as small children often do. Nothing to worry about”.

And then ignore anything else. I’ve found in the case of my autistic sister if you accept her description of it as a head injury she will then spiral with that, telling everybody that he’s had a terrible head injury, and concussion, and social services are investigating etc etc.

It’s kind of a result of anxiety, and of wanting attention/drama, and causes all kinds of problems if you don’t shut it down.

I’m also brutally frank with other people talking about her - so if somebody approaches me with “omg your sister told me about your son’s head injury!” I’d reply with “I’ve already told her he didn’t have a head injury”, don’t feel the need to go along with her weird version of events.

Thank you.

She does seem to make a drama out of everything. I don't know much about ND individuals, apart from we are supposed to accommodiate, which is fine, but not how..of course everyone is their own individual self as well which makes every interaction different.

She does seem to have a skewed/different version of event than NT people.

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MermaidsSideEye · 05/05/2026 13:14

seasmussealife1 · 04/05/2026 12:13

Thanks. When she messaged me about the first accident, it was 10 mins after nursery closed. So it was really soon. I just said thanks. Second time, she was clearly wanting details. There has been three full working days between. Jesus you would have thought it was a hospital visit the way she's carrying on.

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So she's just a catastrophiser who annoys you by inflating minor things out of all proportion?

My mother does this. I had to go to the walk-in clinic on Saturday for a minor issue with my knee that was causing me nagging pain, and my sister happened to mention it to my mother because I'd run into her on the way. My mother has phoned me three times since, as if I'm recovering from open heart surgery, rather than needing a few anti-inflammatories.

I get that it's a bit irritating, but it's hardly a big deal, surely?

Friendlygingercat · 05/05/2026 13:58

"Nothing to worry about. Lots on today. In haste, Gingercat"

Original poster
seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 14:04

MermaidsSideEye · 05/05/2026 13:14

So she's just a catastrophiser who annoys you by inflating minor things out of all proportion?

My mother does this. I had to go to the walk-in clinic on Saturday for a minor issue with my knee that was causing me nagging pain, and my sister happened to mention it to my mother because I'd run into her on the way. My mother has phoned me three times since, as if I'm recovering from open heart surgery, rather than needing a few anti-inflammatories.

I get that it's a bit irritating, but it's hardly a big deal, surely?

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That and what she says about situations isn't true

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bedfrog · 05/05/2026 14:49

seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 13:07

Thank you.

She does seem to make a drama out of everything. I don't know much about ND individuals, apart from we are supposed to accommodiate, which is fine, but not how..of course everyone is their own individual self as well which makes every interaction different.

She does seem to have a skewed/different version of event than NT people.

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I've already told you how to do it, straight from an autistic person. But you don't seem to want to listen to any advice so carry on.

Original poster
seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 16:34

bedfrog · 05/05/2026 14:49

I've already told you how to do it, straight from an autistic person. But you don't seem to want to listen to any advice so carry on.

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Why should I listen to you?

All autistics are different.

And I don't need to go against my values either

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TessSaysYes · 05/05/2026 17:30

I wouldnt reply again starting now...because you ve nothing to add to your earlier reply. Is she being vexatious?

MermaidsSideEye · 05/05/2026 18:15

seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 16:34

Why should I listen to you?

All autistics are different.

And I don't need to go against my values either

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What do your 'values' have to do with responding, or not responding, to a mildly catastrophising text message about a scratch your child got at nursery?

Original poster
seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 18:42

TessSaysYes · 05/05/2026 17:30

I wouldnt reply again starting now...because you ve nothing to add to your earlier reply. Is she being vexatious?

I've got no idea!

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Original poster
seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 18:42

MermaidsSideEye · 05/05/2026 18:15

What do your 'values' have to do with responding, or not responding, to a mildly catastrophising text message about a scratch your child got at nursery?

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Do you know what values are

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Barrenfieldoffucks · 05/05/2026 19:14

seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 18:42

Do you know what values are

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I'm beginning to wonder who the ND person is in this interaction tbh.

What do values have to do with this issue? And if you don't want advice on how to respond to a potentially ND person, what are you asking for?

MermaidsSideEye · 05/05/2026 19:25

seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 18:42

Do you know what values are

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Yes, which is why they seem so irrelevant to a text message exchange about a child’s scratch.

SpinandSing · 05/05/2026 19:39

I think you should just ignore her completely. Just because someone has text you, doesn’t mean you have to reply. Honestly, so sick of people texting…it takes up so much time and extra brain power when you’re relaxing or already out somewhere else. No wonder people feel so stressed out when the expectations to communicate to everyone at all times are so high!

CaptainMyCaptain · 05/05/2026 19:53

seasmussealife1 · 04/05/2026 10:15

I don't need to explain

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Just say that to her.

Original poster
seasmussealife1 · 05/05/2026 20:32

MermaidsSideEye · 05/05/2026 19:25

Yes, which is why they seem so irrelevant to a text message exchange about a child’s scratch.

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Well maybe you should get some

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