H had a thing for me and we were in some ways close. Arab guy, very handsome. We would get together with a mutual friend, H and his partner. Druggy, but cheerful and fun.
Once, I hooked up with H alone, and he seemed restless, not quite there.
Then, time passed. Realized I had not heard from H in a while. Messaged him and it was left with one tick (not delivered.) I was a bit worried.
I went to find his flat, but H and his partner had recently moved, a a few streets away from their old flat. I couldn't locate the flat, since I had only been there once. Lower ground flat in a leafy square in Highbury, hard to identify - they all look very similar.
I remembered H was friendly with the guy at the local grocer who was also Arab background. I walked over there. That guy said he had not seen H for months, assumed he had moved away.
I contacted the mutual friend. He contacted H's family and worked out he had died on 7 September. No details. I assume overdose/suicide.
Next year, in China, I was staying in a serviced apartment on the tenth floor - in China you are allowed to open the windows fully.
Since it was hot, we had the bedroom window open one evening. Tenth floor is too high for mosquitoes.
I passed the window once, had an odd feeling, which I ignored.
Then an hour later, I went to the bedroom to get something, and passed the window, I felt the strongest urge that I should dive out. If I did so, I would be truly free.
And for some reason, I knew it was to do with H. He immediately came to mind.
Breathed deep, drew back from the window. Closed it.
Looked at my phone.
7 September.