Hello everyone -thanks so much for all the feedback. To answer some questions about how you do a reading for people over the internet - personally I try and clear my mind and just focus on the username of the querent.
I should say again that I don't believe that I'm creating a channel of communication or similar, but I do try to be as free from interfering thoughts as possible. I think that especially when you have used a deck a lot it is entirely possible that the reader is subconsciously 'counting' the deck, just like people proficient at cards can learn to do, and pulling cards that 'make sense.'
I also have an interest in astrology, mythology and numerology, so I add knowledge of that into my interpretation sometimes. All the cards in a tarot deck have layers and layers of meanings which can be interpreted in so many different ways -it's finding the thread that links them together that is the tricky bit.
In the case of the readings I did here, I shuffled the deck and pulled three cards, loosely to represent past/present/future. I don't read them as three separate events, more as a continuous line, with each card able to inform each other backwards and forwards. This is where my interest in the subconscious/storytelling/instinct and intuition comes into play as I try and get a 'feel' for the story that the cards represent, and present it in a coherent form. If I need further clarification I will pull a card for more insight, or as a card of resolution to see how a situation might ultimately end.
As I said in my OP, I'm not woo (just quite empathetic and clairsentient) and have zero 'psychic ability.'
Tarot cards cover the entire human experience and every possible permutation of a situation it's possible to imagine. The skill as such is being able to interpret nuance and present it as a story.
Obviously reading for someone who is actually present is going to be much easier because they will guide you in terms of what area they would like clarification in, and you can use the cards in more depth as tools of discussion.
Do I cold read people in those situations? Yes, 100%. Personal readings for me are about getting a 'feel' for the client and the sense in which way I can help them and which way they will accept the lessons the tarot is offering. I don't need to do things like look for wedding rings -I will just ask them if they are married! Like I say, my job is to interpret the cards, not pretend to be psychic.
And I always turn it back towards the reader rather than saying 'oooo, a tall dark stranger is in your future!' or similar. My personal take on the Tarot is that the answers to all our problems come from within, and that the cards just make our internal worries and thoughts visible in archetypal form.
Anyway, if you've read your way through all of that, thank you. I'm sorry I don't have time to do more readings -last time I did this on MN it just became a neverending thread of people jumping on the back end and I had to give up in the end, and posters were getting shitty that I didn't get round to them. It's surprisingly tiring to do.
To those of you who are suffering at the moment with worries and struggles I send you my sympathy, love and light. Remember -we cannot control the wind, but we can direct the sail.