Afraid of death
youareasyoungasyoufeel · 04/11/2019 09:32
Anyone else afraid of death? I'm 35. I'm married with a toddler and trying for number 2. But it only feels like yesterday that I was in my early 20s not worrying about the future and now I'm here, renting, can't ever see myself being able to buy until I get my inheritance one day which I'm not wishing my parents away and it's a long way off in any event
By the time I'm 40 I'll still have young kids. I wish I had had kids a bit younger but life just didn't work out that way. Let's say I'm pregnant now, in 20 years when they are both old enough to go on their own to some extent, I will be 55 !! Which just feels kinda old. And I'm sure there's stuff I want to do but I might feel too old at that age
I guess what I'm saying is I wish u had travelled more in my 20s and had more fun and tried new things and experiences more. I wish I had lived more.
I wish I had the chance to rewind time a bit but at the same time keep my family
It seems so weird that u live and enjoy life or do the best u can or are able to and then u die. And u never return. It feels like a waste. Why don't we get the chance to rest for a few years and then come back? I don't want to go forever 😢
Spied · 04/11/2019 09:42
It's very scary. I started to think about death and fear it since a health emergency when I believed I was about to die. The thought of never seeing my DC grow up terrified me and has made me worry constantly that I'm going to die. Prior to this event I felt invincible. I now worry excessively. I have had CBT and been diagnosed with PTSD and health anxiety.
I wish I could rewind and really enjoy and savour my earlier years as now I'm not enjoying life fully due to my worrying. These years worrying are years I can't get back.
I was 29 when had my first DC and 31 when I had my second. I am now almost 40. I look back to when I was 18/19 and it feels like it was yesterday. It feels like time is going so fast.
sittingonacornflake · 04/11/2019 09:53
I completely mirror your thoughts OP.
Something I find helpful is to think in 5 years time, will I look back and be annoyed at the time wasted NOW by dwelling on this. Or, if I try to live life to the fullest now with my family, will I still even feel like this? I think not.
I think there comes a point where we have to say, right, stop looking backwards, stop worrying about the future (still plan for the future with savings and pensions etc) and just enjoy NOW. You might need to remind yourself of this several times a day.....
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