Eventually have bought a horse after

[sykes]

a very long time of looking and haven't owned for about four years although ridden a lot in those four years. Amazing manners on the ground but very young - too young, probably - and very forward going. I have a lot of help at a brilliant yard but my confidence is shot to bits. When I tried him out he was great but is SO different at home. Still a lovely man on the ground and I know he's a baby (four-years old, rising five) but I am getting everything out of proportion. I've had youngsters before and just seemed to get on with it, whereas now (post children) am a complete wimp. My instructor/the yard manager says my ability is fine but it's my mind set. She rides him beautifully - but she is an amazing rider - but I am getting more and more wound up and he just p's off with me which is making it all worse. I get tense, he gets tense, never (well, not so far) bucks but tends to get very strong and I react in exactly the wrong way. Help, please. Basically, I've done what I said I wouldn't - bought a youngster who is probably too much at this stage in my life but I so don't want to send him back as he's adorable. Sorry long post. If anyone is kind enough to reply I'll explain more.

Hi Sykes, Poor you, it sounds like you have a very green horse on your hands who is just a little bit scared. You do have a choice. BUT Its either go back to the beginning and do a years groundwork to get a really good horse out of it or pass him on to someone else to do it and get yourself something older and safer. It took me 3 years to make my unbroken 5 year old into a safe fun horse but she's worth it. I would give him a break, do lots of ground work then start from the beginning under saddle assuming nothing, or get soemone really good and kind to do it for you. Also, is he in? if so turn him out, every day and all the time as soon as you can. Cut his hard feed to lots of hay and just pony nuts, too much feed in a young horse causes all sorts of problems. Get him in to work him every day and go really slow. Good luck!

Also, if he really isnt the right horse for you, will the dealer have him back and swap him for soemthing older and safer. Being over horsed is no fun, esp if you are a mum with kids!

Sykes, you must be feeling so down. He really is a troubled youngster isn't he. Feel sorry for him as well as you. Does sound like he needs more time off and like Elasta suggests starting from scratch, very slowly.

What did the back lady say exactly? Did she give any reason for why she thought he was sore? Has he been tanking round the field or fallen over? Saddle fits doesn't it so shouldn't be the problem. Would it be worth getting him checked out by the vet? Sorry for all the questions but am desperately trying to think of options.

Thanks for commiserations re lesson. Another one tomorrow so I need to put my positive head on.

Thanks for all messages. He is out every day, no hard feed apart from occasional nuts and is worked every day - albeit very gently now. I know the dealer would have him back and everyone who sees him loves him - he's v pretty etc. I had my last but one horse for nine years and that was a constant battle as he was good to ride (bit green as was four) but a nightmare on the ground. I thought new horse was green but not this green - obviously. The yard he's at now takes horses for reschooling and was part of my plan but it just seems a massive project and he hasn't endeared himself to the trainer recently but she's very patient. We've got the vet booked in. I don't want to be overhorsed as have two young girls but am just convinced he could be lovely and want to give him a chance. I knew I was going to make a mistake. I SO meant to get an eight-year old I could just get on and have fun with. Ah, well. He just looks at me with his huge brown eyes and whickers and I melt. Good luck. Owls tomorrow.

sykes - i was only dealing with a tiny 11.1 sec a, and we did advertise him for sale at one point because i was so stressed and anxious about him , it is so tricky, you feel a responsibility ot the horse, you bought him you have to make it work type thing, also the feelings of failing but try to hol din your mind why you want to own a horse ...if it is to enjoy a hobby , out in the fresh air , getting exercise nad having some time to yourself then this is not hte horse for you . If it is because you want a challenge, want to put in hours of work to produce a competion horse at the end to either ride or sell then you need a training plan , a schooling yard and a lot of money !
if it was me i would sell especially if the dealer willhave him back so no hassle for you.

Thanks, mummydoc. I appreciate what you're saying and agree. I should have sent him back straight away as, in my heart, I felt very dubious and nervous straight away. I'll have a discussion with my instructor tomorrow as, although she's excellent, I feel he needs a lot more work than she can probably give so needs to go somewhere for more intensive work and care. I work so don't have huge amounts of time and am sure he needs more attention and care than he's currently getting. Thanks for advice.

hi Sykes, It is a tough one. Several times I wondered to myself why I had bought an unbroken 5 year old when I had 2 small kids, but I did have help and she was basically very laid back. But it is nerve racking hacking a young green horse out alone and a couple of times I did end up on the deck (she is 16.2 its a long way down)! It does sound as if lovely though he is, he may not be the right horse for you. I am of the opinion that to really enjoy riding you have to feel reasonably safe and when we have kids we are not nearly as brave as we once were. Talk to your instructor and do what is best for you

Did you have a chat with your instructor Sykes?

Well, we got the vet out and he's on a pretty hefty bute dosage and just turned out for 10 days. Then he's to be seen by a physio for pretty intense manipulation - he'll have to be sedated as it will be quite painful. So, strangely, I feel better and not the biggest wuss in the world. The vet thinks he is in pain due to muscle damage - his neck is like concrete, his flanks are very hard too. How that happened have no idea. She thinks that it's a pain and a behavioural problem that, hopefully, can be put right with time. I so don't want to send him back but have informed the dealer who has been great - just in case. He's always going to be a bit sharp which is fine but, hopefully, we can resolve the other issues. I don't understand how it got to be so bad but the vet says it takes between four to six weeks for them to really show their true colours and he definitely has a phobia about the school. We lunged him without tack there and then with and his behaviour changed massively. Everyone seems to think he's been very badly beaten in the past so just hope that, with time, we can help him. He's such an amazing horse on the ground - my younger daughter paints his nails and he just breathes on her. How is everyone else?

ah have missed so much stuff while convalescing - sorry things have been so challenging Sykes

Sykes at least you are getting to the bottom of things, I expect your horse won't know himself when he is pain-free. I wonder how the poor thing got in such a state and at such a young age, but it sounds as though he has fallen on his feet now. It's lovely that you are going to at least try and help him rather than passing the problem on to someone else without a thought. I'm sure some nasty people would!

My own dhorse has still been languishing in the field all week because ds has been home all week with a bad chest infection. Antibiotics 4 times a day for a very reluctant boy with ASD who is as strong as I am. What joy, I'm exhausted! I work from home so I've been sitting up late too as I can't do anything with ds around. My friend took dhorse out today though, and he was really good, only did his trademark vertical launch the once .

In the hope that ds will actually be back at school monday I've booked a lesson on another horse in a posh new school (outdoor unfortunately so fingers crossed for weather). I'm determined I will canter!

If all goes well I thought I could rush across and put dhorse's tack on while I'm still in a positive frame of mind and maybe take him round the block on my own. The last few times I've been on him (with someone walking with me) he's been marvellous and I've managed to stay reasonably calm so there's no reason not to, only my fear stopping me which is pathetic. It's only 10 mins!

Thanks Whiffy and Pixel. I've been grooming him and he seems very relaxed - the bute has obviously kicked in. He has a strange lump on his die now that I'm keeping an eye on. He's just so lovely to handle and walks up to me in the field and just loves being stroked. I SO want it to work out. Good luck with your lesson. The weather seems great at the moment - calm and not too cold - so hope it goes well. Let us know how it goes.

Perfect lesson weather this morning and the new school is lovely. It makes such a difference having a big flat surface with proper bouncy rubber stuff!
Anyway, stuck to the first part of my plan because I did actually canter a few times today and it was great.
Still bottled out of riding my own dhorse though. And he looked beautiful when I'd groomed him .

Never mind - you cantered which was your main goal so you should be pleased. The weather was amazing today so I schooled another horse and popped a few small cross poles which felt brilliant. I couldn't have a lesson as the yard was a bit frantic. One pony kicked seven bells out of another needs the emergency vet and another horse who was being free schooled over jumps jumped out over the school gate ... Hope your plan continues to go well.

Whoo Pixel sounds like you did really well. Have you booked another lesson?

Sykes, sounds like progress of sorts will keep fingers crossed for you.

Blimey Sykes, sounds like a madhouse! Must admit I've always wondered why horses free-schooling and in jumping lanes etc don't just jump out.

Owls, yes lesson booked for monday on dhorse. Our horrible slopey paddock will feel even worse after the lovely one at the other yard though . Instructor and I have decided it will be a good idea if I have one lesson a month on her horse. She said "It was so nice to see you not looking worried" and my sister (day off and came to be nosey watch) piped up "Oh she's only scared of horses if she owns them". I think maybe there's a tiny bit of truth in that but couldn't tell you the reason for it! (and to be fair I won't ride sister's little bronco either, he nearly had her off today).

Hi Sykes,

So pleased that you may have got to the bottom of your problems. Good luck with your boy

Thanks, Elastamum. I feel we've still got a long way to go but he's getting more and more relaxed every day. Vet and physio next Friday. Am riding another horse at the moment and had a rather "exhilarating" hack yesterday. How is everyone else - any news, Pixel?

Ah, well, I rode yesterday, so I'm feeling very pleased with myself. My mum walked with me but we were out for nearly an hour and I worked very hard on keeping my bottom on the saddle (I lean forward when I'm nervous which I know is bad but it's a very hard habit to break). Once dhorse had relaxed and stopped walking like a crab it was brilliant. We met someone we used to loan a horse from so stopped for a good gossip and dhorse stood very patiently for about 10 mins before he started digging up the grass verge . Anyway, it wasn't 'exhilarating' by other peoples' standards (you must tell me what you mean by that, I'm imagining five-barred gates etc ), but I got off feeling more positive than I have for months. Fingers crossed that it lasts!

Ah, well, I rode yesterday, so I'm feeling very pleased with myself. My mum walked with me but we were out for nearly an hour and I worked very hard on keeping my bottom on the saddle (I lean forward when I'm nervous which I know is bad but it's a very hard habit to break). Once dhorse had relaxed and stopped walking like a crab it was brilliant. We met someone we used to loan a horse from so stopped for a good gossip and dhorse stood very patiently for about 10 mins before he started digging up the grass verge . Anyway, it wasn't 'exhilarating' by other peoples' standards (you must tell me what you mean by that, I'm imagining five-barred gates etc ), but I got off feeling more positive than I have for months. Fingers crossed that it lasts!

Ahh Botty that is wonderful news! Well done you, you're putting me to shame now.

Really pleased it's had the desired effect for you. No rush to return it but thank you for letting me know.

You should have put this on the "positive" thread!

Botty that's fine keep it as long as you need to.