Eventually have bought a horse after

[sykes]

a very long time of looking and haven't owned for about four years although ridden a lot in those four years. Amazing manners on the ground but very young - too young, probably - and very forward going. I have a lot of help at a brilliant yard but my confidence is shot to bits. When I tried him out he was great but is SO different at home. Still a lovely man on the ground and I know he's a baby (four-years old, rising five) but I am getting everything out of proportion. I've had youngsters before and just seemed to get on with it, whereas now (post children) am a complete wimp. My instructor/the yard manager says my ability is fine but it's my mind set. She rides him beautifully - but she is an amazing rider - but I am getting more and more wound up and he just p's off with me which is making it all worse. I get tense, he gets tense, never (well, not so far) bucks but tends to get very strong and I react in exactly the wrong way. Help, please. Basically, I've done what I said I wouldn't - bought a youngster who is probably too much at this stage in my life but I so don't want to send him back as he's adorable. Sorry long post. If anyone is kind enough to reply I'll explain more.

glad you are seeing some progress Sykes

how was your lesson Owls?

Thanks, Owls and MW. Yes, he is on full livery so is schooled three times a week. My instructor (who owns the yard and schools him in addition to teaching me) is fine on him - although he is very forward going with her and was very silly yesterday. He eventually settled but she didn't do any more than a lot of walk and trot. I was quite surprised she felt the need to hang on to him when I was on him as before I've walked, trotted and cantered on my own on him - that was prior to him p'ing off with me. Maybe yesterday was just a REALLY bad day? Or maybe I'm just really, really crap? Anyway, I have a friend who's a Stage 4 instructor coming up to ride him on Friday so am very much looking forward to her thoughts. Also, back lady up on Monday to look at my horse's back. Am SO hoping that's something to do with him being ridiculously over sensitive. I'm getting rather down about it all as really didn't think I'd be walking round the school with my instructor hanging onto him a month after I bought him. I really thought I'd be contemplating a dressage test by now. Falls on floor laughing hysterically at such a completely insane idea. Owls, how was the lesson

Oh Sykes it's so dispriting isn't it. How about add to your checklist saddle/teeth/happy with his bit? Appreciate you've probably got these covered but am wracking my brains to think of stuff as I know how down it makes you feel.

Did you have a chat with your instructor as to why they thought it necessary to hang onto him like that - does sound a bit exreme. Does he work ok on the lunge?

Well, my lesson left me like this . You were right Mitch, I lurvved it. Rode two different horses in the hour, spent most of it on the lunge with plenty of trot, rising and sitting (ouch ouch ouch my legs today) but did me the power of good. Got my oomph back again. More mad

Well done, Owls. That's fantastic - you must be so pleased. Thanks for suggestions but he's had teeth done - saddler coming out next week so that might help too. I must ask my instructor why she hung onto him so much in the school. I think she thought we both needed it? And, I must admit, at times she really did need to hold him. I'll update on Friday post another person's thoughts. He's SUCH a sweetheart on the ground and I walked him round the yard etc with no problems at all. It's all very confusing.

Owls, it sounds like you are doing really well .

Sykes, it seems odd your instructor hung on without saying why. Perhaps she was just hoping it would help you relax?

Well, 'lesson' today total disaster I'm afraid. Even more mud in the paddock today and a tractor has been through so you can imagine what that's like, so off we went up the road, instructor riding first so she could use the mounting block but me fully expecting to get on soon. I'd seen dhorse being an angel with my friend at the weekend so I was determined to stop being so silly!

We got up to the bridge and found that the roadworks weren't finished after all so had a long wait for a green light, lots of cones and men in yellow jackets etc to pass but dhorse was so good, just a bit snorty but not silly. Went on to the bridleway and saw cows in the distance so decided to give them a wide berth and took another path but there was a sneaky cow hiding in the bushes! One spin, one jump over a ditch and several bucks later instructor was on the floor and dhorse was heading back down towards the bridge with his stirrups flying. Thank God he stopped at the cattle grid. Luckily he stopped and waited for us and his reins had caught up very neatly over the saddle so they weren't broken. We had to find a bench for my instructor to get on and dhorse messed around for ages but finally she was up and took him back up the bridleway for a short distance just so he could see the cows but not get near them. As they turned back for home a post van came hurtling down the parallel road and dhorse was doing a bronco act again. Instructor stayed on this time but there was no way I was riding home!(actually he bucked about half a dozen times but when I bellowed in my best 'no-nonsense' voice "dhorse behave!" he stopped straight away, don't know if it was a coincidence or not). We got him back over the bridge, past a dustcart and a bus (all good fun!) and back home, then I got on for all of 5 mins in the muddy paddock. I literally walked him up and down a few times as he felt like a coiled spring and that was that! Last week I felt like I would be getting on with riding him this summer, now I feel like it's never going to happen.

aww pixel, that must have been upsetting - sounds like he coped amazingly well with a lot of things though? good news about the bridge

Owls - what did I say?

Flip, Pixel. He sounds rather a handful. To put it mildly .... What does your instructor think? Sorry not to know too much about your horse but is he v young or just very unruly? I hate that coiled spring feeling. Let us know your next plan with him. Am off to yard now to ride other horse and see how my friend copes with my horse. Horrible windy day but he was turned out all day yesterday and then ridden so fingers crossed. I have a feeling it's not going to go too well. What an optimist I am.

Well, that was a disaster. He was a complete git and much worse than usual. He kept trying to take off with my friend who coped amazingly well - I'd have hit the deck in the first few minutes. Has really depressed me. She thinks he's incredibly green and acts as if he's only very recently been backed. She also reckons that it will take the whole of this year to get him sane with huge amounts of schooling and work. Flip. On the plus side she thinks he's a nice-looking, well put together horse and could turn into something really good. Just not sure I have the attitude or, more importantly, ability to get there. AAAAAAAAGH.

Sykes, have long have you had him? Sorry if I've missed that somewhere in the thread. How many times did you try him out? Did you have him fully vetted? Maybe my Miss Marple head is in overdrive but his behaviour now seems extreme to what you say he was like when you first tried him out. Or did you know him beforehand? Sorry, you've had such a bad day again you must be feeling so down. In a strange way I hope the back lady does find a problem on Monday iykwim.

Pixel what a nightmare ride. Is it possible to take him out with another horse for a while? I know my two are better together than when hacking out alone, well marginally anyway.

Yes, Mitchy you were right.

Anyone for a knitting circle (besides Pixel)?

Owls, I've had him about three weeks. Bought from a very reputable dealer - brilliant reputation. I didn't try him out enough at all. I've just lost so many nice horses through poncing around that I took the (stupid) plunge. Passed five-stage vetting and the vet thinks he's a very, very nice horse. I am so hoping that his back is not right too. My instructor was v surprised when I told her as she says he's been very chilled recently. Problem is she's a brilliant rider and NEVER seems to be anything more than very, very relaxed. Thanks for your good wishes. Off to sob into a bottle of wine. Bloody horses.

Sykes, he is usually very sane for his age, we've had an air show going on literally over his head and he hasn't turned a hair, building works with cranes next door, all sorts. He has just developed this terrible cow phobia. He was genuinely frightened out of his wits yesterday, he doesn't normally try to get people off, it's just that when he is scared his first instinct is to buck, he has never run off with a rider. Will admit he is unruly on the ground though .

Our problem is the only route on to the Downs involves going through the bit with the cows so we are stuffed really. It's a steepish hill with not very good footing and infested with dog-walkers who appear from behind bushes so you really want to be in control.

I'm hoping tomorrow will be nice so my friend will ride him out with my sister and her pony (I won't be there, dd's birthday tomorrow), she is one of those maddening riders who can ride any horse and they all go nice and calmly for her, even ones who've gained a reputation. She's only just come back to riding after a break of about 20 years and the first one she rode belonged to her neighbour and had been sent to our local 'celeb' trainer to sort out. He had given up on it and my friend just got on and hacked out on the Downs for an hour with no problems! Anyway, dhorse loves her so hopefully he will enjoy himself and forget about all his traumas.

My instructor thinks I'm more than capable of controlling him and when he bucks I don't move in the saddle (apparently!) and that he is the right horse for me if I can get over my fears.

I wonder if your horse will settle when the weather warms up? Mine has always hated being ridden in the wind, especially when it gets up behind him (and I know I'm more tense when it's cold as well). Also is yours clipped? Perhaps the cold air is making him more sensitive too. My other thought is have you tried him with a calmer in his feed? We had some for dhorse but he is usually so laid-back that I was forced to admit that it was me who needed the calmer, not him!

Oh just read your latest post Sykes. You know three weeks is nothing don't you? They can take months to settle in a new home. Just ask Mummydoc, she was all for selling her childrens' pony a few months ago but now he is used to everything he is a star!

Thanks, Pixel. I know three weeks is a very tiny amount of time. I'm just rather p'd off about it. How strange re the cows. I had horse who wasn't great with them but nowhere near as bad as yours - good luck and fingers crossed for tomorrow. The wind was bonkers today so that didn't help but, equally, I just stood there thinking. Oh, crap, crap, crap. Are you Surrey/Sussex based? Don't worry if you don't want to say - just talk of the Downs - I'm in that area. Have a great party tomorrow. A calmer is v tempting ......

Yes we are Sussex, South Downs.

We've always had our horses in farm situations before so they've been used to cows/bullocks/sheep and it's never been an issue. At one place they even shared a barn with calves and pigs!
Now we rent a paddock and shelter in a field that has houses round two sides, is on a bus route etc and is just completely different. We moved here when my old pony went blind as it was perfect for him. Dhorse is fine with traffic but the only other animals he sees are foxes and rabbits, (and the odd deer, I saw their tracks in the snow which was quite exciting).

We are supposed to be getting the loan of five sheep soon to help clear the ragwort so that will be good. Now, where can I borrow a cow?

I'm sure I knew someone who had a horse v scared of cows and turned it out with cows. Can't remember quite what happened but think he was pretty heavily sedated at first. Probably not a good idea, really. Am going up to lunge after a sleepless night worrying myself sick thinking what the ? have I done. I can't believe it's going so, so wrong. Ah, well.

sykes - it is an awful feeling isn't it . have you got him on a calmer ? and have yougot the money to keep him and not ride him for the next 6-9 months while he is re educated or even re broken as it sounds like he might have been rushed a bit ? our super sensitive sec A has settled but he has taken 6 months of work and even then is still skittish whe i am leading him as i hardly ever do it. He is very placid with yard manager leading as she handles him every day and he trusts her

Oh, thanks, mummydoc. It is a horrible feeling and I don't have him on a calmer as yet, what would you recommend?I'll talk to my instructor tomorrow re the calmer. I can keep and not ride for quite a while so am really thinking about doing that. I lunged him last night with side reins and, yet again, he really had no idea what it was all about but, on a positive note, he did settle - eventually - and was a very good boy when he started to understand what it was all about. Back lady tomorrow so am looking forward to that and aim to lunge and ride (sit on him after my instructor) before then. My main problem is that my instructor who is wonderfully kind seems to be under the impression that I really am capable of riding him as he is. And I'm not. Thanks for all good wishes.

Noddy has Naf magic in liquid form daily . I think you las sounds maybe like he was broken and rushed on a bit, a pony in our yard islike this, nice on the ground but just plain silly when the kids ride and looks bewildered when we try to long rein him. he is off to proffesional to be " re broken" they start from beginning and fill in missing bits very slowly. I will let you know how it goes. It must be extra tricky if you feel that instructor wants you to do it, however nice they are, if i was oyu i would want to have a tanty and stamp my feet and cry " i don't like it......." . could you try one step at a time with a weekly schedule, i did this with the yard for noddy , and each week we just tried to achieve one little thing and it has worked amazingly well,

Yes, I think that is a v good idea and I think you're spot on that he was very rushed. She is being really nice and understanding but the thought of getting on him without her around - which she thinks I should do - is just not realistic at the moment. I have thought of sending him off to be rebroken and might do that. The problem is is that she reschools difficult horses so I feel a bit strange about it all. Am in a complete dither as usual but thanks very much for advice - has really made me rethink the reschooling - look forward to your update.

It's also difficult when they are young and you don't know what they have been taught. He might just be confused some of the time. For instance, when lunging I've always taught mine to stay out on the circle when they halt and wait for me to come to them (good manners I think) but dhorse insisted on coming straight at me which I found very intimidating!. When I arranged for the girl who started him to come over he was as good as gold for her but she called him in at the end in Parelli style. If there are lots of little differences like that in training styles it is going to take a long time for the horse to feel confident with you.

I suppose re-schooling would solve any little problems like that along the way.

Hi, again. Things are going a bit better. Still taking it VERY, VERY slowly but he does seem to be settling a bit. My instructor has whacked some magnesium into his feed as she thinks it might have a slightly calming influence. Fingers crossed. He's still really jumpy but I'm really convinced he's just very nervous and unsure about life. Still makes riding him a bit of a roller coaster but at least my mindset is that he isn't just a git. He's ridiculously sensitive to the leg but am being very bold around him in the stable and also with my leg when walking around the yard - he doesn't seem to mind that as much. I walked on my own in the school today after lunging him (instructor was there) and he felt better. But I think I exhausted him on the lunge. After tearing around like a lunatic on the lunge he settled, then took off and I lost him. However, he did calm down and came up to me. I think the lunge line flapping after I lost him really freaked him out but my instructor says we're going to start lunging with two lines so he gets used to lots of weird things and take it one step at a time. Hope everyone else is well - at least the weather's good????

Yep agree weather is gorgeous this morning.

My lesson last Wednesday was not as positive as the week before and I did feel on a bit of a downer afterwards. Anyway, another one arranged for this week hey ho.

How's everyone else?

Well, not great. Back lady out last week and said he was very sore so give him a couple of days off and then take it v easy. So two days off, then just lunged gently and then lunged again today where he was v quiet and sensible. Instructor went to get on and he went quite mad. She could hardly get on him - messing around and being very, very silly - then took off before she was properly on, plunged forwards, up, down and she hit the ground. She never falls off. He then galloped like a lunatic around the school, snapped his reins etc, etc. Instructor is fine and says she thinks his back is really playing up. AAAAAAGH. Anyway, two more days off, some bute and start again. She didn't get back on him today as he was so wired but lunged him for a while. Flip. If she can't ride him I have absolutely no hope in hell. He really does act as if he's petrified. He poos SO much in the school, is often very boggley-eyed and after my instructor fell off seemed to be under the impression that someone is going to beat the crap out of him. So very much back to basics. How is everyone else?

oh dear, poor you and poor horse. do you know how he haas been treated before ? Our L/R pony was very like this when we first got him ( though in a smaller version) super sensitive to the leg, flitted off across the school in panic mode if you as much as dangles the end of the lead rope and it waggled near him. he broke a lunge line the first tiem we lunged him as the instructor had a lung whip in her hand, he shied away from us inthe stable but did clearly have good manners was just terrifeid/nervy etc. Time has worked wonders, 6 months later he is fab in every way . a real "best friend " for my daughter. Though still super sensitive to the leg, she is learnign to be a very quiet , gentle rider !! and stil never needs the lunge whip or infact any whip at all .

Thanks, mummydoc. Can you remind me of what you did? He came over from Ireland where I don't think he was treated very well, was very rushed and handled quite harshly - I think ...... The dealer he came from is very reputable and he was great there. He's a sweetheart in the stable and on the ground and absolutely loves being fussed. He just is so, so, so sensitive to the leg. I guess it's taking it incredibly slowly? Any other advice MUCH appreciated. I'm massaging his sides, back being sensitive but not too quiet around him - lunging with stirrups dangling etc. But today he was a lunatic. I can't imagine I'll ever be getting a whip near him at any point soon. I was just poo picking in the school and he was eye-balling it as if I was about to start whacking him with it. Glad it worked out for your daughter. And sorry to hear last lesson wasn't so great, Owls.