Eventually have bought a horse after

[sykes]

a very long time of looking and haven't owned for about four years although ridden a lot in those four years. Amazing manners on the ground but very young - too young, probably - and very forward going. I have a lot of help at a brilliant yard but my confidence is shot to bits. When I tried him out he was great but is SO different at home. Still a lovely man on the ground and I know he's a baby (four-years old, rising five) but I am getting everything out of proportion. I've had youngsters before and just seemed to get on with it, whereas now (post children) am a complete wimp. My instructor/the yard manager says my ability is fine but it's my mind set. She rides him beautifully - but she is an amazing rider - but I am getting more and more wound up and he just p's off with me which is making it all worse. I get tense, he gets tense, never (well, not so far) bucks but tends to get very strong and I react in exactly the wrong way. Help, please. Basically, I've done what I said I wouldn't - bought a youngster who is probably too much at this stage in my life but I so don't want to send him back as he's adorable. Sorry long post. If anyone is kind enough to reply I'll explain more.

I've done that before too!

And to think, I used to be able to balance on the corner of the water trough and leap on to my mum's part-shire with a single bound to ride him up the field bareback. Damn these creaky old bones

That sounds like a great achievement, Pixel. Well done. I'm not riding mine until Monday and, am sure, will have built myself up to a frenzy of nerves that will result in a mad gallop round the school. God, I wish I could be just a bit more positive - it's pathetic. My instructor says he's so much more chilled and relaxed so I shall concentrate on that and stop being a wuss. I hope.

Well at least you are riding other horses in the meantime, I just don't ride full-stop!

The only other available horsey is my sister's section D and he can be very sharp indeed. My sister has always been the brave rider in our family who would have a go at anything, but she came sooo close to selling him as she was sick of hitting the ground. Luckily she persevered and they get on fine now, but I don't think it would help my nerves for me to ride him!

Good luck for Monday. Have you tried reciting poems to help you relax? It can work because it makes you concentrate on something besides how terrified you feel! It does work for me sometimes, and it also calms dhorse to hear me droning on. He likes 'The Raven'

I used to sing (badly) to one horse I had to make me relax but maybe a spot of poetry might be a good idea. Something soothing ..... Thanks for your good wishes and can see that your sister's horse wouldn't be a good idea. Hope you get on again soon, though the weather isn't looking great again.

"My Four Legged Friend" is supposed to be a good one - something about the way you need to breathe when singing it. Although not sure my droning helped that much. Also realised I only know about 4 lines. Actually not sure if there are many more, will have a google of that.

When is your next lesson Pixel? I've got one arranged for next Wednesday on a school horse.

Sykes did you look at those CDs Pixel and I have tried? Have you given up with yours Pixel? I am determined to start again.

Just starting to snow here.

Lesson Monday weather permitting, but yes it is raining here again! It was nice yesterday but my friend took dhorse out as she works in a school so is on half-term, and I took ds out on the shetland in case he didn't get another chance with the weather being so changeable. He is a cheeky boy though, there was a lady at the gate with a little girl in a buggy looking at the ponies so I took dshetland over to say hello (I always do, keeps the neighbours sweet and the children love it). I was chatting to the lady and before I knew it ds had climbed up the gate and on to the pony. It's amazing, he has very poor co-ordination and loose joints so often falls over just walking down the street, but when there is a pony involved he manages just fine .

I haven't given up on the cds but there doesn't seem much point at the moment. I'm waiting for decent weather and dry ground so I can have a proper effort.

Got some good news anyway, we have to go over a very nasty motorway bridge to get up on to the Downs. Well finally they are raising up the sides for safety. Hurrah!, that will make a big difference to my stress levels anyway.

I used to sing to my pony but that was when we were all alone up on the Downs, not walking along the road. I can say poems under my breath and dhorse still seems to hear ok but hopefully no one else can!

I used to sing that Toni Basil song 'Hey Mickey' to him, substituting his name which sort of rhymed. The bit about 'you're so fine, you blow my mind' was apt I thought, and where it got to 'And what you do Mickey, do Mickey, don't break my heart Mickey' I used to sing 'don't break my neck'!

Ha, rhymes with my horse's name but shall substitute V quickly: don't break my neck, leg, arm, wrist. Hope to catch up on Monday after your lesson. And mine. AAAAAAGH.

Hi all, I have been there. Do persevere it will be worth it and dont worry about taking a long time. i bought an unbroken 5 year old a few years back to replce my old horse. But had not had a young horse in 15 years and had 2 kids in the meantime. It was nerve wracking and many times I wondered whether I was still good enough, or should I throw in the towel. Have been on the deck a couple of times and it hurt! Now 5 years on I have an absolute sweetie, who is well schooled, hacks alone and in company, loads easily and will do a passable dressage test and jump a 3ft course. It has been a bit learning curve but well worth the journey. good luck

this is such an inspiring thread

Thanks all. Am going to the yard now to ride different horse but will try to do some free schooling etc with my horse. Hope every one is well and thanks SO much for the support. It is massively appreciated.

Enjoy yourself Sykes.

Well, no chance of any riding here today as had fairly major snowfall yesterday. Arrrggghh. Or am I wussily relieved.......

Pixel, can't believe you've given me another "ditch" thought. I still have to remind myslf it's "drift". Really am NOT going to go around singing about breaking my neck!

Elastamum, that's really good to hear, thank you.

Sorry Owls.

I'm a pain aren't I?

good luck, when i was a teenager the woman I rode for used to say 'make haste slowly' when schooling horses. I now understand what she meant. For example. I did about 6 weeks loading and unloading practice when i first started traveling my horse. driving round the block for 5 minutes then un loading, going a bit further each day. As a result I have a horse that always loads and travels well, which is an absolute necessity if I am on my own.
Also when schooling, to break everything into small steps and dont worry about going back a few steps if something isnt going right.
The other thing I learnt from a dealer friend who buys unbroken youngsters was to turn them out before you ride them, try not to keep young horses in and for your own sake dont overfeed them. A lot of problems are caused by too much hardfeed!

Elastamum problem is if I go much more slowly with my youngsters they're going to be older than me soon. Tbh, I find it so frustrating that the main problem is me. Feel like banging my head against a brick wall to knock some sense into it.

Anyway, lesson on Wednesday on schoolmaster. I will do this.

Well, count down to getting back on him tomorrow. This is really ridiculous, I know. He's a lovely boy on the ground and actually came to me in the field yesterday when I went to get him in. He's usually not at all co-operative so I was ridiculously pleased. Of course, he'd been out for ages, all the hay had gone and he was in search of carrots - all irrelevant, in my little mind. I'll post tomorrow and PLEASE wish me luck. Hope everyone else is doing okay - updates would be great.

Good luck Sykes. It really will be fine, you can just take your time and enjoy yourself and your lovely horse.

My next lesson's Tuesday, and I am definitely going to canter. (Have said it, so must do it, and will update, but wetting nyself every time I think about it!)

Why can't we be like we were as teenagers? (brave, competent and not wrinkled)

Lesson rained off again, surprise surprise! We are going to try for Thursday instead but I'm not holding out much hope.

Does anyone know where I can buy a snorkel and flippers for a horse?

Pixel, I was rained off too. the weather was absolutely revolting (rain and SO, SO cold) - did I use it as an excuse? Possibly, as could have gone back in the afternoon. Anyway, rescheduled for Wednesday so fingers crossed I actually get on him. Good luck for Thursday. Hope everyone else is doing okay.

Hi everyone, well today is the day for my lesson on a different horse. No crying off due to weather as there is an indoor school....... Will let you know how it goes.

good luck Owls! have a feeling you are going to enjoy it, did you say it was a lunge lesson?

Hi Miffy, am hoping so! Or maybe that's worse.... arghh don't know anymore am soooo nervous it's ridiculous. Have resorted to cigs and coffee. Really have to shift myself instead of staring into space.

well what's the worst that could happen?

hahaha, let's not go there . . .

Back from the yard. Well ..... he was rather jumpy so didn't do anything apart from walk. With instructor hanging onto him for most of it. He just seems very unsettled. But at least I sat on him and then once back on the yard I walked him round on my own, past plastic bags and other things and felt fine. So, not huge progress, but a tiny step? In the school he just seems to be ridiculously sensitive to the leg and his back sort of goes up and he gets really unsettled. Back lady is at yard on Monday so am looking forward to her thoughts/advice. How is everyone else doing? Am riding a different horse on Friday again, will freeschool/lunge on Saturday and then walk etc again before back lady on Monday.

Sykes, he sounds like quite a handful. Are you having him schooled as well as you riding him? Tbh if he's having to be held down at walk I'm not surprised you're struggling I would hate that. Although the time back at the yard sounds good and yes agree any progress is great. Hang on in there!