Tell me to woman up!

[Bodear]

I’ve just been reading a few of the tack room threads and you all seem lovely so....

I started riding again last year after a break of ooh about 25 years. I was always more enthusiastic than skilled. I had about 5 lessons and then in the last one before Christmas we played games (beanbags, buckets, flags, you know the type of stuff). I got thrown off twice; the first one didn’t hurt but the second one did, although nothing broken.
I had been really enjoying learning again but I think the incident make me feel quite insecure about being near others on a horse. If I don’t pick up lessons again I think I’ll regret it. Help me to get over it and back on a horse?

Was this at a riding school?
If so, go back and explain what happened and how you feel. Ask to book some private lessons on a safe steady horse to build up your confidence again.

Hi, thanks for replying. It was at a riding school and I think that’s the bit that makes me nervous tbh. In hindsight it was all a bit cramped and I feel a bit that they let me get back on the same horse (known to hate being close to other horses) to continue in the games with no words of advice.
Am I being a snowflake?

I'd be anxious about getting back on too. In fact, the whole thought of gymnkana games is making me a bit anxious right now. I see the kids where I ride crashing about on their ponies, and pulling them around, and all I can think is 'God, that has such potential for disaster' (and I used to be very much a crashing about go-faster-jump-higher child).

I agree with trying to have some private lessons with someone you trust if you can until you feel more comfortable, or if you can't do that could you ask to ride a horse who doesn't hate everyone, and in a less busy group for a bit?

Ghymkhana games for an adult sounds a bit off. (Now polo, on the other hand is the.best.fun.ever!)
Go back & have proper flat work lessons. If you feel confident, and want some excitement, have a jumping lesson or two, but on a schoolmaster.Try to find a BHS approved yard and use BHS instructors, AT LEAST BHS AI level, preferably BHSII. Then you will be taught correctly.
Good luck.

Thanks for your responses. I think I’d be too scared of hitting the horse to try polo!
I’ll look for a new stables though and start with private lessons before joining another group. And invest in a body protector! Thanks again.

I agree with the others. But wanted to add falling off, let alone being chucked off is scary. No need to woman up! You are jolly brave to be considering carrying on.

You just need a better setting and a more appropriate horse.

Thanks for your comments and encouragement. The first one I like to think was an elegant roll over the front of his shoulder. The second was more of a landing like a lump on a bucket!

Gymkhana games make me feel a bit queasy right now actually! Multiple horses all cantering up and down with buckets on their rider's heads was never my idea of fun... I preferred to be the one that held the horse!

Definitely try to find a new stables, and ask for a schoolmaster. Take it slowly and don't rush yourself.

Gymkhana games shouldn't make people feel worried! They're really useful for adults to take the focus of their nerves and worrying about their seat / reins etc. They should be great fun for all ages.

However, after 5 lessons, throwing you into a games session in an enclosed area on a pony who doesn't like other horses in his space sounds like a recipe for disaster. I would look for another RS - ideally a BHS registered established with a good reputation. If you're nervous, tell them so, and why and ask to start out on the lunge or on the lead rein. Just go and sit on a horse - even if you don't get out of walk, on a lead rein, that's a start. You can build on it gradually and do what you actually want to do.

This doesn't sound great at all. If you have another riding school available, I would definitely try them. Try asking for some lunge lessons or similar to start with, in order to rebuild your confidence.

Mounted games for adults can be great fun, and good for the riders, but only at the right time, and given you had fallen off once, I would definitely have found you a different horse to ride for the remainder of the session.

Coming back to riding after a break is difficult- but worth it! So do keep persevering!