Part loan issues

[Horseylover766]

Hi guys,

Looking for a bit of advice please. I’ve recently come out of a part loan because the horse I had was just too much for me personally.

At the time I was still friendly with the owner and we chatted often in fact I was encourage to keep looking to find a suitable horse.

However fast forward a month or so, a few horses I enquire about I get immediately told I’m not suitable etc. I then find out the owner has been bad mouthing me...

I decide to confront and get quite a few nasty messages... and basically told to stay away from horse world. Then proceeds to tell me I injured her horse when nothing was mentioned at time and I hadn’t ridden said horse for a week previous to ending the share.

I’m worried that I’m going to struggle now? Looking for advice please?

It's a hard one. It sounds like she's probably just got a case of sour grapes. Just persevere. She can't have spoken to all the horsey people in your area

It's a hard one. It sounds like she's probably just got a case of sour grapes. Just persevere. She can't have spoken to all the horsey people in your area

Thanks for your input. I was actually really hurt by the comments she made like I had hurt the horse especially when I hadn’t even been near her prior to me leaving, it astounds me how horrible the horsey community can be :/

Have you thought about asking her politely in what way you injured her horse? You could say you would like to know so that you don’t do it again because ifshe’s right you do need to know. Or do you know someone who knows her who might know?
I used to own horses and would try and get sharers it’s quite a fraught relationship, most horse owners have specific ways of doing things, sharers may have different ways so there can be difficulties. Most horse owners only get a sharer because 1. They can’t afford the cost of horse ownership or 2. They lack the time to exercise them, in reality given a choice most don’t really want a sharer. If it’s they need your money they really would rather you paid and never rode their precious horse!
Lacking time and unable to find a suitable sharer for admittedly difficult horses I got rid of them, 14 years down the road I now share I’m a very competent experience rider who in the past has run yards etc the owner of the horse I share does in my opinion things I wouldn’t do but I just keep quite and go along with it! I’m lucky in that she does let me do most things my way but I know often it is difficult.
Just a thought, as I’m typing, you say the horse was too difficult, did you by accident perhaps injure it’s mouth or make its back a bit sore or at least does the owner think you did? Have you thought about getting a few lessons at a really good stables with an experienced instructor and getting you riding properly assessed? Say what happened and see it they think you hands are a bit hard or you sit heavily. We all need someone on the ground to point out our faults however well we ride as it’s easy to slip into bad habits.

I been going to my dressage instructor recently as It’s good as you say for someone to give you advice, when I was riding the horse and never picked up on my hands being too hard but I totally agree with you it’s good to have someone else have a look because we do things that we aren’t even aware of!

I’m in the same opinion that some of things they suggest I personally wouldn’t do... I actually remember being told to and watching other people gub this horse (pulling the reins right back HARD while being naughty or being a bit too firm whilst handling them on the ground) which I think personally is horrible but I wasn’t the owner, plus the horse had quite a severe bit in and was being ridden by me and someone else so pretty much every day I reckon. So that’s why I was hurt and doubtful it was just my fault that she ended up with a sore mouth.

I think you guys are right I just need to find a horse and owner who are definitely suitable. Or better have the time for my own horse!!

Where are you? I'm looking for a part loaner for a bomb proof showjumper. He is happy to be a happy hacker and do a stressage test but can also carry a confident novice round a course of jumps.