Advice for a new ECT

[HappySonHappyMum]

My DD has been a primary ECT for 3 weeks now. Tonight most of the teachers have gone to the pub after work - and included two other new starters - but not her. She's putting on a brave face but my heart is breaking for her. How on earth does she infiltrate this group of teachers. She's got a deputy head for a mentor who is so busy and the other teacher in her year is twice her age and doesn't seem to want to connect with her. Any strategies to help her would be appreciated.

It’s early days and lots of school staff don’t socialise after school any more, every one is far too busy.
As long as things are going OK in class she will be fine and doesn’t need to “ infiltrate” the group.

When I started teaching in a big Primary school in the 1980s the staff were so divided into Infant and Junior ( now KS1 and KS2) They didn’t eat together at lunch times or meet up after school.
I taught Infants but had lifts to school from someone from Juniors so did get invited to things at her house.
I survived and there were other divisions in other schools. These days as I said there’s little time for social activities.

unless it was a work event and all teachers were invited then I can see why… but maybe they had assumed that someone had invited your DD. Maybe she could speak to a colleague she is ‘close’ with and ask how it went - that might trigger a conversation for next time.

Is she sure they just didn't assume she knew about it and that she was invited? If they invited the other new starters ot seems very unlikely that she was deliberately excluded.

Is it possible the other ECTs are in the same 'team' as the others who went, and therefore they were socialising as a team? While it's a shame your daughter wasn't invited along too, you say yourself that her year group partner isn't really interested in socialising. Maybe the other ECTs just happen to be in a more sociable year group/Key Stage and they were invited out to get to know their team a bit better? Nobody would have been excluding your daughter on purpose. I also wouldn't hold it against her year group partner that they're not reaching out to socialise more out of school. Possibly they have a young family and other commitments out of school? Maybe they're just not naturally sociable? As long as they are supportive of your daughter professionally, that's all you can ask.

If she wants to socialise with colleagues, tell her to be forward and ask outright if anyone fancies going out. She'll naturally find her 'crew' within the workplace soon.