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Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

Original poster

Falling apart at work

70 replies

MsGoodenough · 26/02/2025 17:54

Think I need to get signed off for my mental health. But scared if I do I'll be too scared to ever go back. I have lost all my confidence. I am considering resigning my HoD role but scared I'll regret it. But just not functioning. The cause of the mental health breakdown is home, not work, so being at home may make things worse. I'm in most days in body if not in spirit. School have referred me to Occupational Health. They are very kind and supportive but one day they'll get sick of me. Any words of wisdom. I love my job and need it all the more if I split up with DP (which I think I needs to do).

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Original poster
MsGoodenough · 26/02/2025 18:47

Sorry that's a bit of a garbled message. I guess what I'm asking is am I better to go in but not fully functioning, or should I get signed off? I'm so scared of losing my job.

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tadjennyp · 26/02/2025 19:48

So sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Ask your HR team if they can expedite the Occupational Health referral. Have you told your line manager how you are feeling? Can they take a couple of tasks off you for the moment so you don't feel like you are drowning? Can you take the rest of the week off to give yourself a bit of headspace and decide what to do about your home life? I hope you feel better soon, but take the time you need to improve your mental health. We are here on this board if you need to rant or to ask advice. Thinking about you.

Original poster
MsGoodenough · 26/02/2025 20:16

Thank you. I have a show coming up so taking time off really is the nuclear option. But scared my reputation is going down the drain as I'm not managing behaviour.

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MrsHamlet · 26/02/2025 20:22

You can't be sacked because you're ill. Speak to your GP and take some time off.

BG2015 · 26/02/2025 20:37

You definitely need to think about yourself.

Take some time off and see your GP.

Original poster
MsGoodenough · 26/02/2025 21:04

I think I'm just terrified of stewing in my own juice at home

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MrsHamlet · 26/02/2025 21:12

It doesn't have to be for long though. And maybe you can use the time to start the splitting up, if that's what is needed

redsquirrel07 · 27/02/2025 21:21

It you don't want to take time off then your school should have a stress management policy in place. Usually involves a meeting with the headteacher and/or your line manager to discuss ways to reduce your stress at work. Might be worth a shout?

I posted not too long ago about feeing stressed and getting signed off. Rather than going straight to that option, I talked to the head about how I have been feeling and they have been able to offer me some support, mostly in the form of the stress management plan.

I'm sorry you are struggling so much ♥️

Original poster
MsGoodenough · 28/02/2025 22:17

School is being very supportive but I'm worried. I'm a two person dept and recruiting a new teacher next week. I'm considering resigning my TLR, but on UPS3 they won't thank me for taking a role that would normally go to an ECT... But think it may be the best way to safeguard my job going forward. I feel I'm not actually good enough to be HOD and I've been winging it for a while (or is that my depression talking....). Interviews next Friday so if I want the junior position I've probably left it too late. Or I could tell them first thing Monday. Cue a weekend of total stress...

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MrsHamlet · 28/02/2025 23:42

Be careful: they may not let you just resign the TLR. I really think you need to take some time out.

Original poster
MsGoodenough · 28/02/2025 23:53

My line manager was ok with the idea when I floated it before half term, but we now have applicants for the job so it wouldn't look great to be telling them the job is no longer available.

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wonderstuff · 04/03/2025 13:17

Hi op, I have had time off for mental health and I just want to reassure you you will get better.
A few years ago for various reasons my mental health was in crisis and I was signed off work for a few months. I was also prescribed anti depressants, but I don’t know how much they helped. I initially slept a lot, my kids were small and I was doing the school run and then sleeping most of the day and then going out for pick up. Slowly I got better. I did try to return to work, but in my case work was part of the problem and I resigned and went to a much better school.

It too a long time to get better, in my case I stayed at work until one day I just couldn’t stop crying and had to go home. But I absolutely got my mojo back. Look after yourself.

Original poster
MsGoodenough · 16/03/2025 21:49

Thank you. I am so crippled with indecision I can't plan and then lessons go wrong as I keep changing tack as my inner critic is screaming at me throughout. My plans are so chaotic though I'm scared to be signed off as SLT will ask for my schemes of work and it will reveal what a mess I am (suspect I have ADHD but have always masked really well until now. Plans were in my head which was fine. Now my head isn't working and I'm screwed).

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wonderstuff · 16/03/2025 22:00

I have ADHD, I think it is quite common in teachers, fast-paced, every changing environment suits lots of people with ADHD I think. When I hit crisis and was signed off I hadn't been diagnosed but started to think that was part of the issue, and paperwork is something I struggle with. I was diagnosed a couple of years later and that has really helped my mental health. I have a better understanding of myself and my difficulties and am better able to try work to overcome difficulties rather than see them as a personal failing.

Original poster
MsGoodenough · 23/03/2025 21:14

Things are getting worse and worse. I now can't plan at all. Spent 10 hours in front of the computer today and tomorrow/next week/next term as unplanned as ever. If I take time off my lack of schemes of work will be seen by SLT and I'll be toast. I'm so terrified of losing the job I love but a part of me seems totally bent on self destruction. I'm almost considering asking to be put on capability to be forced to write proper lesson plans.

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Original poster
MsGoodenough · 23/03/2025 21:17

@wonderstuff are you on medication for your ADHD? I'm considering going private for a diagnosis and medication in the vain hope that might help. I know I don't want any other job than being a teacher but I am losing my grip on it.

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MrsHamlet · 23/03/2025 21:29

You cannot go on like this. Get yourself signed off and see your doctor.

wonderstuff · 23/03/2025 21:41

I was on medication for a whole and it was helpful, but not as life changing as some people find it. It was useless when I’m tired and I very often struggle with sleep. I also often forgot to take it. In the end the admin required to get my prescription was just too much and I stopped bothering with it.

tadjennyp · 23/03/2025 21:42

I agree with @MrsHamlet. You will end up with a nervous breakdown and no use to anyone, most importantly yourself. Go to the doctor. Wouldn't you tell a colleague that?

Original poster
MsGoodenough · 23/03/2025 21:50

I'm in regular contact with the Dr. On new medication which I think might be making me worse but who knows? But even one day off sick was unbearable. I'm so much worse after taking that day off. I regret it so much.

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MrsHamlet · 23/03/2025 21:52

Because one day is nowhere close to enough.

Original poster
MsGoodenough · 23/03/2025 21:55

I need to just snap out of it and start making decisions. A bad lesson plan is better than no lesson plan; is what I keep telling myself. I know if I get signed off I'll never have the confidence to go back and with all that time on my hands I'm more likely to act on my suicidal thoughts. I've been referred to occupational health and they didn't really have any recommendations. I just need to get over myself somehow. Every day exposed myself to making decisions and hope I build my confidence back up. That's what's worked in the past.... I've got a new member of staff starting in July who I'm intimidated by as he's so confident. I was feeling so much better and I think it's that that's sent me spinning again.

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Greenblossom · 23/03/2025 22:26

This isn’t about getting over yourself. This is about listening to yourself. I hope as a minimum you get some time you yourself at Easter.

Original poster
MsGoodenough · 23/03/2025 22:43

Greenblossom · 23/03/2025 22:26

This isn’t about getting over yourself. This is about listening to yourself. I hope as a minimum you get some time you yourself at Easter.

Thank you. I am visiting my sister and in-laws which will be nice, and I can hopefully switch off a tiny bit. I also need to plan new schemes of work and prepare coursework for moderation which will not be nice. I missed my opportunity to resign my HOD position a few weeks ago which is eating me up. School has always been my solace and safe space when home/mental health is bad. Work has always been what got me through. I am generally happier in term time than in the holidays. That's part of the reason I'm so lost now as I dread the week and dread the weekends/holidays. There's no solace.

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