The Forty-fifth Republic - Is there anyone there? Surely time for half term

[Staffdontblowitnow]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

I too was a slim gym bunny working around Europe in a corporate job, playing sports and I've blinked and I've got 2 kids, 3 stone extra and a lot of grey hair! Argh!!

@GuyFawkesDay

I too was a slim gym bunny working around Europe in a corporate job, playing sports and I've blinked and I've got 2 kids, 3 stone extra and a lot of grey hair! Argh!!

Rude isn’t it!?

@SansaSnark

Doing online parents evening, already had two no shows tonight. It's really annoying because I feel tied to my laptop in case they do show up.

Agree it’s frustrating! Hope it goes better for the rest of tonight!

@GravityFalls love the short cut keys. An exciting development in a otherwise low day.

May I give you all ctrl + ] this makes whatever text you have highlighted 1 font point larger and ctrl +[ makes it smaller. This gets exciting when you want to make things larger or smaller in a doc but have headings etc and want to keep everything in proportion. Ctrl + a to highlight your whole doc then ctrl + [ or ] away!

I had a much better day today. Partly because my colleague was back in, but partly because I lowered my standards and thought "fuck it." Much better for my mental health!

lowered my standards and thought "fuck it."

Fuck-it February!!

Glad that the split screen thing helped, Mistress, I found out last lockdown, it makes copying and pasting feedback so, so much quicker.

How are you feeling gravity? And others who were/are struggling?

To put some positive vibes here, I may look a bit different than 30 years ago but am much more confident and understand myself (and others, possibly) much more. But yes, heavier than have ever been, possibly including pregnancy .

The split screen will also make filling in engagement registers on GO whilst looking at who hasn't handed shit in in the google classroom easier too. Marvellous.

Glad your day was better Chocolate - the longest serving teachers I know seem to very good at knowing when to say fuck it and ignore ridiculous demands sent via email. Except the ones who are nervous bloody wrecks but still going (one dear friend of mine who doesn't have a fuck it bone in her body bless her).

I've just taken the dog for a stomp and bumped into the soaking wet cat on route so she walked home with us. I know people think I'm very weird around here as I'm frequently out walking with a dog and cat and chattering away to them.

Ds is STILL asleep on the sofa. I woke him up at about 9.30 for his maths lesson and he was back asleep by 11 at the latest so has now been back asleep for over 7 hours. I'm just leaving him to it because he has to be up for school tomorrow so the longer he sleeps the more chance that he'll be able to plough through the school day without sleeping again itms. I'm a bit of a believer in if you have an epic sleep it's because you need an epic sleep and in letting sleeping dogs lie (because then they won't demand you cook them dinner).

I am more than a stone heavier than I was at full term pregnancy. It's that bad and it all happened so fast after my surgery but isn't being at all fast at going away again.

Noble I'm excited to hear what you are going to name March!

Mofo pour me another gin March? Motherfuckers are trying to kill us March? Missed the resignation window March?

Sorry. Not helping much.

I've been writing down all these shortcuts whilst in a union zoom!
Today we've been told that because some kids are so disengaged with online, we're going to be sending home paper work. Erm... so they can't be arsed (this isn't the vulnerable kids) and I have to provide different work for them whilst simultaneously providing work for the kids who can be arsed.
Fuck off.

I have told my kids it's Fruit February and that the have to eat more fruit as snacks because we appear to have had Twix January. They are delighted.

Not sure about March yet, will see what the mood is.

Mass walkout March?

@MrsHamlet

I've been writing down all these shortcuts whilst in a union zoom! Today we've been told that because some kids are so disengaged with online, we're going to be sending home paper work. Erm... so they can't be arsed (this isn't the vulnerable kids) and I have to provide different work for them whilst simultaneously providing work for the kids who can be arsed. Fuck off.

MrsH I've been studiously ignoring the emails from pastoral making requests like this. I can't send them 'paper copies' because they're not paper lessons and no I'm not fucking planning double the fucking lessons because some kids parents would prefer we posted work home even though they have devices and internet and no reason at all.

There are no paper fucking copies of a loom video where I've gone to the trouble of teaching and setting up tasks etc.

I think someone is going to tell me off at some point but until that point, and possibly after, I am not doing it.

If any of you are in the North West, North West Tonight has Mr P on their evening news in a few mins...

I had a massive issue with the paper thing very early on. One of those super star teachers (with an almost half timetable) had been sending home paper work for her lesson and was expecting everyone else to do the same. I put my foot down and said no, explained why, said the kid could have an old textbook out the cupboard to work through and I'd give page numbers. Apparently that wasn't good enough, head got involved and backed me. Textbook went home, no work has been sent back at all.

One of those super star teachers (with an almost half timetable)

Funny that, eh!?

@ChloeDecker

One of those super star teachers (with an almost half timetable)

Funny that, eh!?

Wow, this isn’t really a thing in primaries I’ve taught in-you only get a half timetable when you’re part time and get paid half the week! Our deputy has a class and might get a day or two out, but that’s about it. Bigger primaries, maybe.

How do you get such a reduced timetable in secondary-is it head of years or SLT?

I have honestly known for ages (at least two months!!) how to split screens (although I do it differently!) and discovered that DH's colleague, who is a maths teacher and an online tutor didn't know how to and was being provided with a second monitor! And a young colleague in my school was getting google plug ins to split his screen!

I suddenly feel like one of those know-it-all people on Twitter .

Speaking of which, does it annoy the hell out of anyone else when people take pictures of their amazing lessons and put them on Twitter : so their jamboards, their split screens, themselves hilariously falling over??

Cats are fine. Cats on keyboards are allowed.

My cat kicked me out of a lesson today and edited a boy's work...

It's always the kids who do no work anyway, in school, out of school, online or not and there's no way I'm doubling my work load so a parent can come up with one more excuse as to why their child hasn't done any work for the last however many years that is absolutely definitely not their fault so the school must need to jump through yet another hoop.

It's another of my line in the sand things.

@TheHoneyBadger

It's always the kids who do no work anyway, in school, out of school, online or not and there's no way I'm doubling my work load so a parent can come up with one more excuse as to why their child hasn't done any work for the last however many years that is absolutely definitely not their fault so the school must need to jump through yet another hoop.

It's another of my line in the sand things.

I’m approaching that exact line right now too.

Cats are definitely fine. Publicly masturbating over your own ego's sense of wonder at it's own wonderfulness? Not so much. No one needs to see that.

Good Chloe. I don't know if my colleagues are doing it because I'm in the fingers in the ear pretend I don't here you stage so I've no intention of voluntarily broaching the subject with anyone. I keep getting more and more of these requests (always passed on by non teachers who have no idea what they're actually asking of you) so at some point it's going to have to be a 'thing'. I'm hoping ignoring outlasts lockdown.

How do you get such a reduced timetable in secondary-is it head of years or SLT?

Either with TLRs or a subject that is over timetables. In my secondary, the subjects that have more staff than lessons are PE, Art and Business Studies/Economics and Psychology. That’s why practically all our Heads of Year are PE teachers and the Business/Economics lot have extra titles such as ‘Oxbridge Coordinator’ and currently ‘Remote Learning Coordinator...

honey I feel much the same.

The emails from the parents when I have removed non responsive children from lessons are always full of excuses when I say your child isn't doing the work.

Our half (ish) timetables stem from members of staff being given whole school responsibility for something. This thing is now irrelevant as we are online, and probably won't be relevant going forward.

SLT have low TTs here. HODs on 37/50 periods teaching over 2 weeks.