The Thirty-Sixth Republic - New Year approaching, no clear idea of what is happening next week and has Gav been sacked yet?

[SantaAssociationRepresentitve]

You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

I would happily be furloughed - in fact by the time I’ve taken off nursery fees, petrol costs and buying any random resources I need I would actually be better off !

phlebasconsidered
I have trained my 6's to write a numbered code in the margins for when they think they have used various grammatical structures, sentence types, devices or authorial voice so if moderated I can just show them that. They also colour in statutory spellings. I am a drill sergeant!
Yes!
For pieces I think I might use if moderated, they fill out a sheet with each of the assessment criteria and where they think they've met them. In fairness, I do sometimes disagree with their decisions but it does force them to think about standard by which they will be judged.
Crumbs. I had my suspicions that I'm a crap teacher. These statements have confirmed them.
I consider it a success if I can get the class down the stairs without someone getting hurt.

Yup - after seeing today’s case numbers, feel free to furlough me right up!

@RuleWithAWoodenFoot I made the mistake of not removing my electric pencil sharpener every evening once. Was very sick. Had to have a day off. On my return all pencils were borrower sized within 1 day.

I learned my lesson. That thing comes home every evening, along with the Sacred Blu Tack Ball.

@OnehorseopenBobsleigh

It's not good teaching: it's survival. I end up spending all of March through June building the portfolios for each kid just incase we get moderated. If I didn't get the kids to do some of the work then I'd never get it done.

Proper laughing at ‘borrower sized pencils’
Our glue sticks have the child’s name on. Saves all the arguing and fussing about whose turn it is or who has lost theirs.

@OnehorseopenBobsleigh to be fair they can do the editing etc but they still need telling to not fart on each other and I abandoned all hope of getting them to spray their own desks after "spray in the eye injury number 5".

Iamnottheone I'll take being called anal. I taught my year 10 last year "pedant" so they at least had a word to use when they complained about it 🤣

@NeurotreeWenceslas How is the poorly toddler?

@CallmeAngelGabriel I teach Year 3 and spend whole lessons in the first week teaching them presentation expectations: writing in date/LO, underlining with a ruler, sticking in straight, how to use a glue stick. I have been known to yell NO ORIGAMI across a room when I spot unauthorised folding - I spend ages trimming things to fit their books, they are not allowed to fold without express permission.

Having said that, this class are the worst I have had for years re presentation. I wonder if it’s a 2020 thing, lockdown etc? Driving me nuts, and I can’t even keep them in at break to redo due to me being outside with the bubble 😩

The primary thing is starting to scare me now. I even emailed 2yo’s nursery asking if she could have a temporary full time place (currently one day a week there, four days with ILs who are in their early 70s) but they don’t have the capacity. We would have had to pay for it on credit card anyway, and could only have managed a month or so but still....am terrified of passing it onto ILs.

In a few classes I have to watch the glue sticks don't get eaten.

And then have to scrape up the mashed piles of glue from some books and scrape it back into the tube.

I would take furlough on 25% honestly.

Slightly off-topic, but the first thing I teach my 8 year-olds is what a rhetorical question is.
I have little patience for the chorusing of "it was Jimmy," when I ask one.

Gah! No don’t scare me with furlough - we need every penny of my salary to qualify for a large enough mortgage to stay in our area when we move this year. Every penny. DP self employed and considered a high risk for lending. Need to stay in area for childcare and schooling. Gah! No furlough for me please 😂

@Timeturnerplease, yes, no origami, and also no sticking in of worksheets THEY HAVEN'T EVEN ANSWERED!!!!

Questions that make me ragiest - "Shall I write the date/title/ stick this in/ answer the sheet you given me/ do the thing you've literally a millisecond ago asked me to do?"

No. No. Just sit there and fart.

Ah glue! The number of times I've had to provide plastic wallets to go between pages to stop the sticking together

I have perdected the diagram in the middle of a 2 page spread though (pats on back). It takes a good 10 mins though with each step modelled so they get it right

[quote CallmeAngelGabriel]@Timeturnerplease, yes, no origami, and also no sticking in of worksheets THEY HAVEN'T EVEN ANSWERED!!!! [/quote]
When they stick in an unfinished starter, filler or bell work that's the worst!

And the re trimmers that drop the paper on the floor.

@CallmeAngelGabriel God yes, makes me seethe...

I am the evil teacher who walks round and makes sure dates and LOs are written in the correct places and underlined. If incorrect they have to redo, with me saying ‘oh dear, I hope this doesn’t make the lesson run over into break time....’

So secondary colleagues, we really do try and train them before they move on!

@phlebasconsidered I am absolutely using the ‘sit there and fart’ response next time.

Better than my ‘ok, who can tell me the instruction I JUST gave you?’. Because they’re 8, they love a chance to show off so all hands go up 😂

@Timeturnerplease

Yes.
It's not that they're untrained. We have the same "helpless" behaviours with every new year group up until around October. The kids assume that different teachers have different rules, standards and expectations and so default to "Should I turn the page?" mode. At least, until they are a bit older and just stop caring.

At what age do children change from sometime in primary where they can be trusted with glue stick to secondary where they can't because they use a ruler to flick glue at the ceiling or at each other? My y9 and y10 classes are not allowed glue unless being directly supervised

Daily fail now reporting that some patients maybe moved to Yorkshire. I mean its the fail so will take with a pinch but meanwhile lets start mixing groups.... well you all get it.
Insane!

www.theguardian.com/education/2020/dec/29/covid-testing-plans-leave-englands-school-leaders-guessing

I feel really murderous about people who are working from home for the foreseeable. They're the fuckers moaning loudest about schools closing, I bet.

As thank time, bouncing off the walls like a loon with a few random small red spots. 🤷🏻‍♀️