The Thirty-Fourth Republic - Time to recharge our batteries and make the best of our festive break

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You are most welcome to this school staff support thread to get us through stressful times. It is meant for school staff only – a sort of room of requirement. Baiters, haters, goaders, and bashers can jog on somewhere else.

If you are NOT staff and just have a general education query please start your own thread.

You can play here if you are a member of one the following groups-

-ABBA - anti bashers and baiting association
-SWAB - school workers against bashers
-SWOT - school workers opposing teacherbashers
-STARS - schoolworkers together against ranting + slurs

Do not give the staffroom password just in case it attracts the wrong sort

Other requirements for staff room entry include the ability to find the staff room, the ability to find a clean mug in the staff room, knowledge of the photocopier codes, and the ability to sniff out where the booze is stashed - Thirsty Tuesdays, Fizz Fridays now in operation.

If you come with a stick to goad us then that is not allowed in the staffroom and you will receive a detention

[quote RigaBalsam]schoolsweek.co.uk/dfe-issues-wrong-guidance-in-leaflet-to-help-explain-mass-testing-schools-told/?fbclid=IwAR0hM6qmWH-oNbXsiMMBmeuSqPItHaLnosoL2TAKaKZ7T9MHSy7LaDzlnOY[/quote]
Ffs-can these people do nothing competently?!

My teen has come out the other side of tuts and sighs at the state of the cupboards and is jolly pleasant to be around most of the time, provided he is not asked to do anything outrageous like get up early.
He was very pleased when I declared Open Season on the Pringles yesterday - his Inner and Outer selves matched excitedly, just like in the MacDonalds Christmas advert

Yes, DS2 is the most positive and biddable person in the entire universe and he is anxious about the idea of a test administered by someone else. He reckons they would be frightened to do unfamiliar teens 'properly'. Wait til I tell him he'll have to do it to himself.

Is this what I am doing wrong bread??? I have hidden all the Pringles in places like my locked car and my sanitary products drawer...

I might have more of an Open Season without supervision from DH, mind.

I actually don't think that was the wrong leaflet. I think it was the intended one until Nick Gibb said teachers absolutely would not be doing it.

I just bought lots and lots of Pringles and said I wouldn’t be going out to buy more, so use them wisely and use them well.
DS is like your DS2. I can’t see him being comfortable with a test done by anyone else and I totally get that, as I choose the drive through tests so I can do them myself.

I don't think it was the wrong leaflet either. I think they literally hadn't thought about the ridiculousness of asking teachers and volunteers to do tests on anyone let alone close contacts of positive cases. They probably only thought about it after seeing threads on here.

We should get the £1000 bonus actually. We can spend it on topping up the gin supplies and buying enough pringles to keep all of our kids out of our hair.

When I did my own self administered test I ended up having to do both nostrils only as I just couldn't do the throat swab. I have such a strong gag reflex that I tried a few times then told the guy I was probably going to be sick if I kept trying. He said nose only was maybe slightly less sensitive but should be fine - it picked up my positive-ness at any rate!

This £1k bonus thing is a shitter. A friend works low down in DfE and he's outraged by the whole thing. Young, single and can work xmas so taking the money.

The best defense against teenage boys and their hunger pangs is to take up baking as the ingredients are usually safe and then you can convert when you like. No good unless you like baking though.

I am home, and singing One Day More a la Les Mis.

22 in, which was altogether too many but they were very well behaved.

We still don't really know how we're coming back. Key worker and vulnerable children to return w/b 11th Jan and full classes start again on 18th. Have scrambled together a workbook for them and will do online stuff as well, but not sure how staffing will work.

Currently making a start on my Christmassy pretzels. Watching the lovely David Attenborough and happy I’ve planned some Year 9 Remote lessons (whilst
Mumsnetting!)
It’s dark so I’ve allowed myself a glass of Chenin Blanc.

Got up usual weekday time today and managed to get all my outstanding work done. Time to channel my inner pagan and get ridiculously drunk with the wife celebrating the solstice

The cream filled Doug's made me chuckle

My niece in year 5 has had the call today to say she has to isolate due to a positive case in her class. Surely that means the child must have been in school with symptoms, as isolation date starts 17th Dec?

She is gutted. "I've ruined Christmas for everyone!" bless her.

So we are self isolating due to me occasionally coughing (just to clear phlegm) and feeling shit.
So the kids are climbing the walls as I haven't taken them out for their usual 3 hours of exercise (I swear they were labradors in previous lives).
Worse - when I did my self administered swab, it stuck to my uvula! So it's probably wrecked isn't it?
And ive

@cornercupboard

My niece in year 5 has had the call today to say she has to isolate due to a positive case in her class. Surely that means the child must have been in school with symptoms, as isolation date starts 17th Dec?

She is gutted. "I've ruined Christmas for everyone!" bless her.

Yeah but as symptoms might mean headache/stomach ache that they could legitimately be in school for - I don't think that that's hard. I mean my chest has felt right and I've been knackered and "off" since Wednesday, but only really started having the odd cough yesterday/today.

I can't face re jigging my lessons for online yet. I'm so pissed off as they are all planned and resourced for in school learning already and now I get to chuck it all away.

Surely that means the child must have been in school with symptoms, as isolation date starts 17th Dec?
Might not have had symptoms-might have been part of the volunteer screening process that people can be paid for. (Feeling charitable on my Chenin Blanc!)

Just on the baked pastries front, I do like these:

www.jusrol.co.uk/products/croissants

and their pain au chocolat and cinnamon swirls are v nice too, although we can never bother waiting for the cinnamon swirls to cool down to put the icing sugar on. My freezer is stuffed full at the moment, so these just about fit in the fridge. There's definitely a certain knack to getting the tube open, though!

Oh , listen to Boris

'we want , if we possibly can. to get all schools back... but... keep things under constant review'

Lots of 'if you possibly can'

We aren't going back, are we...?

Johnson just answering question on schools. Language definitely changing.

He said also 'keep kids in education'

'We have to follow the epidemiology'

'if we possibly can' is the mantra. Hancock also said this yesterday.