I need advice with behaviour management or I think I'm going to fail my NQT

[pinkrocker]

I started school this year with the intention of being firm but fair. I've tried really, really hard but it appears that although my class really like me and we have a great relationship, the respect is not there, and they see me as a friend.
I have a lot of shouting out, and low level silliness.
How can I improve from the start of next term?
My class behave impeccably (I've seen it!) with every other teacher but me, so I MUST improve or I'll be on a support plan. My HT is supportive though!
My HT has arranged for me to observe every other teacher in school so far as she wants to help me pass my NQT and I've asked to go and observe other teachers in different schools if possible and hopefully that will happen too.
I need to start afresh. But I'm not sure how to restart my behaviour management when my class know me well already?
Thanks for reading.

I'm a secondary NQT and also struggling with behaviour. Lots of low level disruption and I feel like I am constantly nagging the kids and we don't get as much work done as we should. I think it's normal at this stage but most of the other NQTs at my school are definitely doing better with behaviour. I share a form with a fantastic teacher and their behaviour for him is 100x better than their behaviour with me. I definitely tolerate too much and also think that I can let the atmosphere in the room get quite negative. At the moment I am definitely lacking some 'it' factor that makes the kids do what I ask them to!

Obviously I don't know the answers but I am part way through reading 'running the room' by Tom Bennett which is making sense to me so far. I am going to finish it over half term and then hoping I will be able to put it into practice when we go back.

......I have watched lots of other experienced teachers and whilst it's very helpful it can also be difficult to see how they control behaviour so well. I feel like it's something in my head that needs to change around what behaviour I expect from the students

Primary? Age?

Secondary here, but going back after half term would a great time to reset and restate expectations. Spend some time at the start 'reminding' them of expectations and what will happen if they are not met and then sternly clamp down on infringements and massively praise and reward compliance.

Behaviour needs to be taught just like everything else.

I work in behaviour for an LA. Drop me a DM and I'll help if I can

I teach secondary so don't have much experience of primary and I am also an NQT mentor.

Firstly, where is your mentor in all of this? My NQT has one class that are quite tough -low level disruption etc. and we have been working together to develop strategies for him to use. Your mentor should be supporting you with this.

It sometimes takes time with some classes, no matter how experienced you are.

I would start half term 2 by reiterating your expectations- make them absolutely clear. Avoid class charters etc. You decide the rules and tell the pupils. Be absolutely consistent in making sure your rules are followed. Consequences for those not following and lots of praise for those doing the right thing.

Try to have a think about 'pinch points' - are there certain times or activities that make things worse and if so, can you change/adapt to activities that suit them better? My Y11 class are nice enough kids but Fri P5 is tough because they are chatty so I plan very carefully to ensure the activities don't require long periods of listening to me.

Are there pupils with SEND issues? If so, are you comfortable supporting these pupils? If not, ask your mentor for suggestions, sometimes, simple things can make a massive difference. I advised my NQT to jot down a checklist for a pupil with SEND to help the child focus -very simple but worked a treat.

Consistency and persistence will eventually pay dividends for you but please do make sure you are getting the proper support from your mentor.

Secondary so my advise would be way off base if you're primary but....

I would say look I seem to have really messed up here. My goal was to be fair but firm but you seem to have taken that to mean you can behave exactly as you please and not respect the classroom rules or me so we are going back to square one. Here are my expectations which are THE SAME as every other teachers expectations, you need to x, y and z and not a, b and c and I need to start giving warnings for every time you are doing a, b or c and remembering to give house points to people who are consistently doing x, y and z. I also need to start calling home and letting parents know who is consistently doing a, b, c and who is consistently doing x, y, z.

Clearly not right if they're little kids but maybe an age appropriate version?

Cards on the table, this is where we're at and part of it is my fault but we all need to turn this around and it IS going to change type approach. Obviously we all have our own styles though and you need to find yours.

Thank you all so much for replying.
My form class are Y6, but I also teach Y5,7&8.
@PumpkinPie2016 My mentor is lovely but is off sick at the moment so the HT has stepped in, which I'm happy with. Yes, there some SEND children in all my classes.

@TheHoneyBadger I really, really like your idea. It would mean that I admit to them that I was wrong- I'm happy to admit this to them as it shows I'm human!- and tell them this is how we're going to move forward. I think if I had a half hour with them on our first day back to set this up, would it work?

@JanetandJohn500
I'll DM you, thank you!

Yes ok to admit you were wrong, but NOT in a way which means they'll keep "reminding" you: "Well you got it wrong that time miss, maybe this is another on?!"

So the tone has to be right, ie that you know exactly what to do now, this is what we're doing and no one is going to deflect me from this. Then follow it up with your actions. They have to be a little afraid of you I think!

I used to be a pushover and now I'm not - but it took me decades and some formative life experiences along the way.

@TheHoneyBadger I hope I've got that right?

You haven't done anything wrong and I personally would not be apologising to them- why would you? You are not their friend.

Withdraw from the jokes etc/ friendship side and put yourself back in teacher mode. Maybe set a reward of a treat morning/day if behaviour gets back on track.

Do go in with higher expectations and the confidence that you will follow through.

Get into a good routine with built in perks- quietest table out first etc. Routines also help with consistent expectations.

Do not engage in any shouting out. Stop calmly, wait for silence, then begin again.

Use your school policies to the letter.

I really like the tip to never say please, but always say thank you. I can't understand how something so simple works so well. Instead of saying, 'Dylan, stop talking please,' you say, 'Dylan, silence, thank you.'

Thank you all again.
I do think I'm seen by them as unthreatening and as a friend, perhaps because I like them all so much I've become a bit emotionally involved and don't want to upset them?
I definitely need to change and become much more professional, can I distance myself now, after a term?

You're not upsetting them by putting in firm boundaries. You're helping them.

Without being mean, you're not their friend. They're using your inexperience to muck about and have a laugh.

It is really good that you're aware of it though, especially as it is still early enough to turn things around. A new term is a good starting point too.

Running the Room by Tom Bennett is excellent, as is Teach Like a Champion by Doug Lemov.
I would “reset” after half term, teach them your expectations and keep reminding them.
Adam Boxer has done an amazing video here

For what it’s worth I don’t think threatening you with support plans is very helpful.

Be over the top with those that are demonstrating the behaviour you want - John, you’re sitting up straight and listening for your next instruction. Well done! 2 house points! At which point half the class will turn round and do the same thing. So again, Tom, Maisie and Betty, you’re also waiting patiently without talking. House point for you! Amy, do you think you can stop fiddling with the curtain and start listening? Wonderful! Try and use positive language rather than negative.

If secondary, raffle tickets are a god send! John, you’re waiting patiently. Thank you! One ticket. Write your name and form on it and we’ll pick out a winner next Friday. There, pop it it in the jar for me. At that point, the rest of the class will want to know what the prize is - large bag of haribo, small selection box, kinder egg....have it ready to show them it’s real. Tell them the winner will also get a positive phone call home. Alternatively, call home positively without mentioning it - it will get round and they’ll all want one!

Lovely ideas!
Thank you all so much, it means a lot that you've taken the time to comment.
I will watch the video tomorrow.
I need to visualise myself doing this and behaving like this (if that's a thing people do?) as a teacher who absolutely can do this. I need to imagine myself saying these things, it's how my mind runs.
Thank you all again!

[quote Augustbreeze]@TheHoneyBadger I hope I've got that right? [/quote]
Oh absolutely. I'm not talking about apologising really but pointing out you overestimated their maturity and ability to meet expectations without having to be giving out warnings constantly but now you realise that's what they need to behave properly.

My advice only works if you absolutely mean that you are going to follow it through with generous quantities of warnings and housepoints an at least one negative phonecall home that they'll all end up hearing about and want to avoid and one positive glowing phone call home that they'd all prefer to get.

Probably way off base for primary - I'm used to teenagers or the cuspy pre teens (needy, demanding and perhaps unintentionally rude in their entitlement and me, me, me ness - can you tell I'm a little year 7'd out?)

You just start again as others have said I think and say this is what hasn't been working this is what has to happen and you will accept that and up your game or deal with the consequences. You can say I have seen that you are perfectly capable of behaving well and working hard with Miss Z so i know you can and from now on you will.

You do of course have to be prepared to be less popular or 'friend' like for a while but respect is actually far more meaningful and rewarding from kids than thinking you're just nice/soft/kind.

When I was younger and starting out I had, and liked having, a reputation of oh yeah miss badger seems like a real bitch but once you get to know her and the class behaves well she's actually really nice and relaxed.

We all want to be the nice and relaxed teacher but you can only be that AFTER the boundaries have been set, tested and reinforced repeatedly.

This is all purely my opinion and my style and I do think the key to teaching is to find your style and ways. I wish we all had the opportunity to observe more teachers and see how many different ways there are to skin a fish.

Skin a cat? I want to say goat but that may be too much time in the middle east.

How do they come into the classroom? If it is like a rabble, send them out, line up, no talking in. First sound, back out, line up, repeat. Usually takes three goes. I would emphasise that 'everything we are doing from now on is getting you ready for Senior school'. Remember - act! It's all an act. Channel the most effective teacher you had at school. Don't let them go to the loo ( unless a problem), make them stand and wait for dismissal. I use phrases like 'this table have annoyed me the least so you can go first'. A whole class break time detention but then you let the well behaved go in drips and drabs over the first five minutes then a big dressing down to the others. Smirking, silliness, those kids get sent to HT or you have them back again (just make allowances here for ADHD peeps - don't pull the reins too tight). Occasionally, use your 'big voice' and scare them a bit but be aware if you are shouting too much - it doesn't work.

Go and watch Reception teachers. I had a super tricky year 8 class once and my son was in Reception so I used some of her techniques and they loved it. Often we talk far too quickly in class and it just sounds like blah blah blah. They really liked very quiet, count downs, one instruction and waiting.

@TheHoneyBadger they're Y6, I have done many phone calls home regarding poor behaviour and 3 are on a regular behaviour improvement plan. I have made some positive calls home too!
This is what I'm struggling to understand, I'm really firm with them but still it's not working, but only with me. They're great for everyone else.
Hence I need to improve.....I've got too close too soon I think, like others have said.

Fake confidence till you make it. As you said, visualise them on task and working. Don’t get caught in thinking ‘but they don’t do that for me’.

Get into the mindset of expecting them to behave, expecting to use X as a reward and Y was an effective consequence.

If you have to collect your line, insist on moving according to school expectations. Stop at every natural stopping point and remind them of this as you go. The poster talking about coming into the class well has great advice.

I think it’s easy for new teachers to fall into the relationships trap too (because that’s all that’s pushed!) but your teacher persona is likely to be completely different to your real self. That’s ok. It’s supposed to be. You wouldn’t be friends with them outside of school, would you?

Make sure you stand up tall and speak clearly. Very few teachers pull off the quiet control thing. You can be slightly louder than normal then drop your voice down to speaking volume.

This is always a loooong term. Plan in a daily reward, a weekly reward and a termly reward. It doesn’t have to be big. My class’ daily reward is to have the radio on. They’ve asked for a hot chocolate afternoon as a reward day which I’ll do. Do not be afraid to make one sit out!

Also, it really works for me to have a very very structured day. They know that we start off with silent reading and they know the expectations of that. Then we will move onto spelling, and they know the expectations for that.

I am a year 6 teacher with over 20 years of experience and I have to say this is my worst year EVER for behaviour. I think lockdown affected this age group especially badly. They've been left to their xboxes for months and they have lost all manners, resilience, concentration and ability to wait for attention. Like you, I have a lot of low level disruption and shouting out. With a LOT of work we are just starting to see improvement.

First, identify your main protagonists. There will be some. Isolate them at the back and corners surrounded by your "good" ones. Ideally you want the worst behaved by themself at the back. The idea is to deprive them of the oxygen of attention. You want to minimise eye contact between the silly ones.

At the beginning of every lesson make what you expect very clear both in terms of behaviour and the standard of work. Over state it, really."During the input I expect all equipment to be out of hands, everyone facing forward, no talking, hands up if you need to ask something WHEN I say it is time for questions." Etc. If children do not do this you need to use the behaviour system immediately and say why - " I am moving you down the chart because..."

At the start of the next half term talk to them about why we have the rules. Encourage the good children to say what it feels like when they have an answer and someone shouts out etc. Then you can use this to "turn the tide" of the class against persistant offenders. "I am sorry that X ruined your chance at an answer Y, let's ignore him. You tell me your version". Never ever accept a shouted out answer, always pull them up on it and point out what an arse they have been to someone else.

Praise, praise praise the ones doing it right.

If you can, watch them at break and lunch. There will be ringleaders they are trying to impress. Figure out why.

I have shortened tasks and lessons untiltheir concentration has built up. Maths is 10 minutes of arithmetic, a starter task, input, task, input, task and so on. They can't work silently for very long.

I offer a teacher prize at the end of the week and a student choice. The student choice has to befor an act of kindness, helpfulness or good behaviour. This helps those wavering between following the idiots or the good kids make better choices. Identify those kids and specifically praise good choices. "Well done X, you ignored Y trying to distract you and your work is better as a result!"

Keep activitiessimple, achievable and controlled. You cannot control a silly class when cutting out, painting etc. You can say "When our listening is better, we might be able to...."

Once you have them 80% of the way there you can pick a more fun actvity. Immediately exclude those who cannot behave. By this time the tide should have turned and the rest should be with you.

During all of this the work for them should be at the right level. Initially, setting work was a trial. They have dropped back so much that some silliness was due to them being unable to do the work easily enough. I've had to drop some of mine back to year 3 and 4 work.

Ring home. For both negative and positive behaviour. I've also sent home "before and after" pieces of work for them to show parents.

Noise monitors can help (classroom screen, bouncing bubbles) but only if you don't have knobhead boys. For silent writing I turn lights off and put on a sound of their choice. My current class like the fake fire on youtube, my previous liked the sounds of an airport!

Use your body. Stand by those that are twats.

One last thing - because mine are so "hyper" I try to allow them to have break and lunch plays rather than keep them in. But I will keep in those who produce poor work or break serious rules. And do this consistently.

There's probably more. It's bloody hard work. I've had a decade in both primary and secondary. Year 6 are basically year 9 only a bit smaller. Good luck. And the fact that you are thinking about it is great. Also don't think that other teachers are better - they all have the same problem!

Glad you've had lots of advice from year 6 experts. The year group that seems most bonkers effected by the lockdown at my school is the year 8s.

The other thing to remember is it does and you do get better. Sometimes things that look disastrous in September are way more settled by November.

Also being a new member of staff at a school has way more of an effect on kids behaviour than people starting out realise. Our kids always seem to need test the hell out of new teachers.

Year 7 are needy and disorganised as hell and have very poor emotional regulation etc. Lots of emphasis on structure and routines sounds like good advice to me. I feel like I'm herding cats with them sometimes over the most basic things like getting their books and equipment out and getting on with the task on the board at the start of a lesson, realising they can't just interrupt me by blurting out a thought that just entered their head etc

My persona with them has to be very different than with older ones. I have to have proper cross voice and face and very disappointed and saddened face etc. A bit like being a cartoon character of a teacher. Much exaggeration and emphasis.

Don't apologise to them. There's been loads of fantastic advice already so I won't repeat that. My top tip is learning to communicate high status. Stand upright and still. Slow down your talking. Take up time and space. The kind of body language and tone women are encouraged to adopt from childhood gives off low status, so I think many of us (myself included) struggle with this. Similarly, newsreaders and Presidents are trained to hold their heads still while talking in order exhude authority. Try it. Practise in front of the mirror. It really does make a difference.

I love the advice to act it. So true! I act being cross (I channel Alan Rickman for cross sarcasm) and mad (Brian Blessed). Also I sometimes have to act interested on break duty (Nicole Kidman in that film where she's the psycho weathergirl).