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Original poster

Placing hands on a student

91 replies

Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 17:25

This is more of a WWYD and I may have to get this thread taken down if it becomes at all outing but I am in a moral maze.

It is not OK to place your hand over a child's mouth-even in jest- and tell them to be quiet, is it? This is secondary and in a corridor before I get asked for context. Lots of students around. The child did not appear upset and was not angry either. In fact, the desired effect of shushing was achieved...

Would you report this, regardless of the jest involved and/or who the staff member was?

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Rumblejungle · 25/06/2019 18:11

It wouldn’t even occur to me to report that. Why would you? Child is ok, no harm was meant by it - I wouldn’t even have registered it as being an issue?

If the child wasn’t upset by it and it was done in a friendly way to remind the child to shush in the corridor then reporting as an issue would be ridiculous.

Bellatrix14 · 25/06/2019 18:15

It’s not something I would ever do (I work in a secondary school), but then I am very wary about such things. We are advised not to touch the students if at all possible, for various reasons. Did the member of staff ask the student to be quiet before they put their hand over the student’s mouth?

Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 18:48

I am surprised you think that rumble. Would you be OK with someone putting their hand over your child's mouth then?

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Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 18:49

I also think it's a small step from this to more aggressive escalation of behaviour.

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Rosemary46 · 25/06/2019 18:51

No I wouldn’t report it.

Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 18:52

Not to my knowledge bellatrix.The boy was making annoying noises when I happened upon the situation. This was the first thing done to get him specifically to hush

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Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 18:53

Hmmm.

Must admit I am surprised by these responses!

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Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 18:55

Just to rephrase and clarify, the hand over mouth could have been taken as joky but it wasn't done as a 'bit of fun. The teacher was wound up and irritated

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Bobbiepin · 25/06/2019 18:55

Was it done as a 'hand hovering over the mouth' gesture or was the hand actually touching the student's face?

Contact I would report, the gesture is rude but not really breaking the rules as such. I'd assume by your comment about who it was, that the teacher in question was SLT or similar?

creamofcarnation · 25/06/2019 18:55

If it was 'in jest' then what's the issue ? Pupil was not bothered

Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 18:57

The child did not appear bothered. They did look taken aback.

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Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 18:58

Spot on bobbie. And ,yes, the mouth was covered by the hand.Contact was definitely made. The shush was said aggressively.

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Mammajay · 25/06/2019 18:59

No I would not report it. If the pupil was bothered, he would make a fuss. If the teacher is a colleague, you should have some idea of his relationships with his pupils.

Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 19:01

I do mamma. I really do not think we can put our hands on kids mouths to get them to be quiet!

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Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 19:03

Should it be up to a 13 year old to make a fuss? Isn't it often adults who advocate for children who may not want to speak up? I'd be livid if someone did this to one of mine. Fwiw both my DCs ( not at my school) think it's bizarre behaviour and a bit creepy.

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Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 19:04

Interestingly, I never said it was a male teacher and yet that was assumed!

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HuckfromScandal · 25/06/2019 19:08

Let it go
For goodness sake
Or if you are intent on following up - speak to the teacher on the quiet, don’t make a big deal of something that really was not a big deal

HuckfromScandal · 25/06/2019 19:09

And I made no assumption about the sex of the teacher.

youarenotkiddingme · 25/06/2019 19:11

I wouldn't report it.

It's also the type of thing I'd do to my 14yo ds in jest and my dad did to me in jest.

I'd also not worry if a teacher did it to ds. I wouldn't do it however because if risks of jest not being understood.

Personally I'd have a word with colleague and point out the possible ramifications of the wrong audience.

Michaelbaubles · 25/06/2019 19:12

God I would never touch a kid like that! I work in a college and it’s a bit more relaxed - as in a light encouraging touch on the shoulder is fine - but nothing like that at all. I guess I might hover a hand a foot away from a kids mouth to give a warning - but actually that’s the very very most I’d do and I probably wouldn’t ever go that far. It’s just not acceptable.

Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 19:12

Wow. OK.

I am not in a position to speak to this teacher on the quiet because (as bobbie guessed) their status in the school. If it were an inexperienced teacher I would have a word. But, then, if a less established teacher had done that to a child I reckon the child would have reacted in a very different way!

I do wonder if it is teachers on this thread who are saying this is not a big deal. Kind of goes against safeguarding training. I genuinely wish I could reenact the action on this thread!

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Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 19:13

I wish I had not put the in jest now. That has misrepresented the action.What I meant was it was not violent and was made into a joke by the member of staff after he (yup) had done it.

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Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 19:14

It wasn't gentle either though!

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Original poster
Piggywaspushed · 25/06/2019 19:15

See, I'm with you baubles. I sort of thought everyone would say 'not OK' and then just contemplate the awkwardness of reporting a senior staff member's actions.

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AndMyBirdCanSing · 25/06/2019 19:23

It's it's great TBH and the teacher shouldn't do this. But I think it depends on the relationship between the teacher and the pupil ie. how well the teacher knows the pupil and how the pupil will react. Some pupils would strug this off as "in jest" from a familar well liked teacher, other pupils would be really upset, and the teacher wouldn't know which way it would go unless they knew the student well enough.