Placing hands on a student

[Piggywaspushed]

This is more of a WWYD and I may have to get this thread taken down if it becomes at all outing but I am in a moral maze.

It is not OK to place your hand over a child's mouth-even in jest- and tell them to be quiet, is it? This is secondary and in a corridor before I get asked for context. Lots of students around. The child did not appear upset and was not angry either. In fact, the desired effect of shushing was achieved...

Would you report this, regardless of the jest involved and/or who the staff member was?

Fair enough to those saying you don't touch the children ever etc...In some situations it happens...it's a grey area...I have had to put my arm around a student today because they were inconsolable (sibling had passed away recently)...I have walked past a student today who was doing some amazing handstand gymnastic combination things off a springboard thing in the gym if the teacher hadn't help her she wouldn't have been able to do the flip roll thing and the students wouldn't know how to do it to each other...it really does depend on the situation and environment...and yes my office door was open and they were people around!

In secondary you build relationships with students. These are young adults. Sounds like the teacher was having a laugh with the student it wouldn't occur to me to report that

maddy68
But there is having a laugh and professional conduct.

I've seen a number of teachers having a laugh with students, but their conduct was unprofessional. Equally, part of professional conduct is setting an example to colleagues, modelling appropriate professional relationships with students.

This falls outside though boundaries in my opinion (especially as Piggy said that they don't believe there is an existing relationship there).

So, so hard to say without seeing the interaction. It has made you very uncomfortable and yet doesn’t sound so serious (to a number of people, anyway) when typed out.
I would say trust your instincts. If it looked and felt wrong, it was probably wrong.

By comparison, my DS 5 sometimes touches my face/mouth with his full hand. This isn't done to shhh me but I find it invasive. I've told him I don't like it and this forms part of a bigger ongoing conversation about body autonomy and touch and privacy and what is ok and what's not ok. And touching someone's mouth full on with your hand is not ok. If he did this to someone at school it would not be ok. If another child did it to him it would not be ok.

Does it suddenly become ok if you're a teacher? No.

I experimented on DH and went to him to put my hand at the same speed over his mouth whilst staying 'shush!'. He instinctively batted my hand away and did not want me to do it. And I am married to him!

Did you speak to the deputy DSL?

I did. She said to leave it with her and she'd ponder what to do. She certainly didn't say I was being ridiculous or spiteful!

That's good. You know you'll probably not hear anything about it from here on right?

Yeah. I'm OK with that.

Good. Tbh I hate that. I always want to know what happens!

If my 14yo was being an arse and making a twat of himself in school I wouldn't mind a teacher doing that to him. He should've been quiet when asked.

This is very simple: you have a concern, so you need to report it. Rightly or wrongly, those are the rules. What the rest of us think it neither here nor there.

Sorry, that sounded rude. I think this is nuts as well.

And just saw you’ve followed up!

He wasn't asked giggles! That was him being asked!