Unplanned pregnancy

[Namechangeforthis1111]

Hi all
Im due to go back to work on monday. I have just found out i am pregnant (about 5 weeks). We already have a 5 year old and a 21 month old. Baby wasnt planned and we have a lot going on at the moment. House is currently a building site and partner told me last night how nothing is going right at the moment. I havent told him yet as he made it clear he wanted no more and he will make my life hell. I am struggling and have a brain fuzz so cant get my head back into work. Anyone have any advice or been in a simliar situation? Ive no idea what to do and feel scared and alone. Thanks

Hey congratulations! Your head must be all over the place. But it sounds like you are making your home nice, you have a job you can take maternity leave from (even if you had 10 children) and things will work out. Obviously you don’t have to continue with the pg if you don’t want to, but you don’t sound so much as if you don’t want it but that it’s all too much at the moment. Work is a great distraction in that you can’t spend time brooding while you’re teaching. Just take it day by day till your head is clearer and you know what you want.

I can understand that you must be shocked - especially if the baby wasn't planned and the circumstances are not the ones you would choose

I am concerned though that you say your partner will 'make your life hell' he is as responsible for this pregnancy as you are - if he wanted to make sure there were definitely no more babies, he should have had a vasectomy.

How much longer do you think the building work will go on for? Would it be done by the time baby arrives?

Take a few days without telling anyone. Have a think about what you want to do - do you want to go ahead with the pregnancy? If not, that is perfectly understandable as well but must be your choice.

Do you have anyone else other than your partner you can talk to? Mum? Sister? Friend?

Take care

The building work will be finished hopefully by November. Unfortunately we are only extending downstairs though, which although will be huge, we only have 2 bedrooms upstairs.

He told me he wanted a vasectomy after always saying he wanted 3. He moans about money and our childcare costs, although in reality we can manage as by the time i finish maternity the middle will be 3 and get 30 hours free. He tried to bully me into an abortion with our first (second was planned) but i couldnt go through with it which is why i dont think i could go through with it this time either. I havent told anyone at all in RL. I have a supportive friends group but they joked about no more babies so i am scared to tell them. He has been moaning a lot about money recently as had to pay out a lot on his car and he will have to fund some of the building works himself. Ive no idea what money he has as he wont show me but i suspect he will still have around £5000 at the end of it yet he is acting like a pauper.

I just feel constantly nauseous and worried and cant see how I am going to cope at work next week :( although agter basically single parenting the summer holidays inset is probably going to feel like a break!

I am also worried about what work will think and the impact on my classes. I teach maths so a maternity cover wont be easy to come by and ive been given a set 2 in year 10 although ive no year 11 at least.

Don’t worry about your year 10 class by the time you go on maternity leave it will be the Easter hols and soon lots of your colleagues will have gain time so he timebtable can be rejigged. School will always be there and no one, not even the head is irreplaceable.

I am more concerned about your relationship. Your finances sound very odd and you should never be scared of your partner.

You say your friends are nice so they are going to be supportive and caring. That’s what friends do.

How are you op? Your partner doesn’t sound nice at all.

Im not great but putting on a front. He did mention the fact I was a week late 2 nights ago but i just shrugged it off as i had to plan all my lessons and seating plans and i am absolutely exhausted :(.

Ive got really bad nausea today and brought up phlegm this morning which ive not had before so I feel rotten and tired. Its killing me not telling anyone but I've got so much to do at work that i just dont feel like mentally i can cope with it once I burden someone else!

I know its always busy and tough first couple of weeks of September but added with extra stress and feeling so ill is making it much harder to cope!

Thanks for listening to me vent :(