Best worst advice?

[70ontheinside]

Inspired by a thread about things you can't say out loud, what's the "best" worst advice you have been given?

My favourite one is the colleague supporting me with a challenging class telling me "you really need to shout more"!

Two.

I had a very challenging class whilst working as an unqualified teacher (scitt training). I worked extremely hard and the children were all following instructions and liking each other again. Behaviour wasn't an issue any more.

I had to leave the class to go to a B placement. The teacher who was going to cover me (was moved from another class as she was leaving the school so could cover for 6 weeks) and myself were in the room. The children were talking whilst she was talking and being rude so I said 'macaroni cheese'. All the children chanted the reply and stopped immediately and she said 'Well I wont be using Mr x's silly chants'. Not advice but it showed me how not to do it and she ruined that class in six weeks. Was an experienced teacher too.

On returning to my own school, I was moved into a dfferent year group (a new HOY took my old class and I took the class that were on their 4th teacher of the year, as the children/parents knew me.
The HOY was also mentor to me and didn't have a clue how to handle the children, saying it was the worst class he had ever taught (at 22 years old, wow!) and they literally ran wild.

He then proceeded to tell me in a mentor meeting that I need to relax on the behaviour management. Not bloody likely seeing what he had done to my old class. Heart breaking.

Oh yes, the visual timetable. I remember reading that nugget in an Ed Psych report, just love it when they write these without talking to anyone who works with the child. If they'd bothered to ask, they would have had the reply that the daily timetable was routinely destroyed by the child ripping off each task and throwing it at the adult, with the refrain "No I won't be fucking doing any of it" :o

Or there is the one routinely dragged out by 'experienced teachers'

"Don't smile until Christmas"

Rubbish advice!

"Just bear in mind, all kids are manipulative bastards" from a slightly cynical mentor during my training year

That I should spend less time marking...

... but must give more detailed written feedback on 'next steps'.

Of course you can use printed stickers for when you give same/frequent comments.

(2 weeks later)

Why are you using stickers to give feedback comments?

"I don't care how you teach this, but you must do this first, then that and that and then give them this homework."

Too much to remember but most if not all of it was well meaning.

This thread has really made me laugh!

I was told, by a very experienced and soon to retire Headteacher "Never wear red, it excites the children."

He was serious.

He also used to fall asleep at his desk in class while I was teaching and, when I noticed, was told by the children that he did it all the time even when I wasn't there.

He also hit a child in front of me, so it was a relief to know that he was retiring due to ill health in a matter of days.

My mentor told me to keep changing the how I dealt with behaviour I.e. Not to be consistent. He later left teaching after having an inappropriate relationship with a student.