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The staffroom

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

Original poster

It's horrific

26 replies

whatiftheskyshouldfall · 01/04/2014 22:07

I just can't cope any longer.

I don't mind the planning or the marking or the meetings, at all.

What I'm talking about is every lesson near enough being like this.

"But why? SHE gets to sit next to HER friend."
"Pleeeeease. I'll be good. Pleeeeeease."
"Joe, move. Move back to your place please Joe. Joe. JOE."
"Can I open window?"
"Can I go toilet?"
"Can I fill water bottle up?"
"Joe, put your food away. Joe, food in bag. Joe. JOE."

I'm ground down by it, seriously. Please, please don't give me advice. I know it all, I follow it all. I have good classroom management but I just haven't got the energy for it. I seriously (semi seriously) considered ending it tonight as I just feel so rubbish about myself and spending the day being YELLED at.

OP posts:
MisForMumNotMaid · 01/04/2014 22:09

Are you in England?

3 days to go....

DH is Wales and he has an extra week to go.

nilbyname · 01/04/2014 22:11

Break Joes legs?

Failing that, vodka doesn't smell, Grin

PotteringAlong · 01/04/2014 22:11

Right, first of all this too will pass. It's the end of term. You just have to get through until Friday.

Don't make any decisions until at least the second week of the holidays (I mean about teaching, not about ending it all) and ring the Samaritans before you of anything rash.

Teenagers are bloody annoying. I'm thinking about making a massive sign for above my white board that says "no you cannot move sodding seats"

Original poster
whatiftheskyshouldfall · 01/04/2014 22:12

I am in England but still another week after this one.

But it isn't the holidays I need. I need to not go back, ever. I absolutely hate and loathe myself, I am exhausted after having spent the entire day being argued with for asking perfectly reasonable things.

OP posts:
nilbyname · 01/04/2014 22:19

I know you said you didn't want advice, so won't give it....but can I just say this.....

What support are you getting? Sounds like not enough.
What is Joes family saying about it all? Can you engage in them?

Original poster
whatiftheskyshouldfall · 01/04/2014 22:22

I am the one who should be supporting others.

I am in a senior position in the school.

Joe's family (and Mike's, and Mohammed's, and Jason's) don't give a toss. Besides, what are we talking about - "he got a biscuit out"

It's the sheer relentlessness of it - thirty of them, one of me.

I need something else.

OP posts:
wonderstuff99 · 01/04/2014 22:31

I hear you. I find my day taken up with:

Why are you interrupting other's learning time?
Go back, sit down and put your hand up.
Jason, stop talking - I wasn't - Don't argue with me.
Charlie, I'm giving you a sad face for that - WHY?!!! What, cos I refused to do my work?

Yep, relentless doesn't cover it. I've tried numerous behaviour strategies, positive reinforcement, consistency in rules in class and they STILL do it. I'm literally drained from it and have nothing else to give.

This a large part of the reason I'm leaving at Easter and going back to day to day supply.

CharlesRyder · 01/04/2014 22:33

I'm an EBD teacher. Do not respond to any meaningless communication? Just zero response. Frees you from the grinding arguing.

Teach the kids who are with you according to your plan. It may only be 2 or 3 to start with. Teach them in a corner, give them stuff they want (attention, rewards, whatever you have up your sleeve). Make it look rewarding to be with you. Then wait.. most kids will fall in.

The few that don't fall in in a few weeks need something else. Fight for that for them.

Mrswellyboot · 01/04/2014 22:37

Op :(

I got out. Twelve years ago. I was so bad, tired, comfort ate, cried a lot

Was so bored or the silly carry on. Miss, miss, miss

In another educational role now and very happy

indieakka · 01/04/2014 22:55

The emotional demands of teaching are what make it so extraordinarily difficult at times. Even if the kids are being good, there are always thirty 'needs' which need attending to, and they change so frequently, so it is relentless. Uniquely exhausting.

But you know this, of course. In my experience, when you begin to feel like you are describing, it is because you have given so much, so often, that your own needs have become largely overlooked. needs such as 'a few moments to think / sit down / go to the loo / free my mind' or bigger things such as experience a weekend or evening free of work, or thoughts of it. It is unsustainable, but it doesn't need to mean the end of a career in teaching if you don't want it to.

You have the option of getting signed off sick to properly allow yourself time to recharge. Perhaps the Easter holiday will provide enough time for a bit of a recharge?

Talking therapy / counselling can really help, and help you to understand the extent of how much energy it takes to give so much, and understand and accept how you can look after yourself.

None of these are revolutionary suggestions I know, but my own experience has been that it is possible to feel like you say you do, and find a way through it and 'back' to enjoying (tolerating??!!) teaching. You are not alone, and you can do this.

In the immediate days, take good care of yourself with hot baths / takeaway / chocolate / wine, whatever works to make life easy and manageable until the holidays.

All good wishes Smile

indieakka · 01/04/2014 23:12

I meant to say too, feeling like you loathe yourself is a natural reaction to having reasonable requests constantly ignored. In the real world (!), reasonable requests are followed, because they are reasonable. Equilibrium! But we know that the classroom isn't the real world, so reasonable requests are fought against, and don't get the 'right / expected' reaction. I think that over time, getting this 'odd' reaction to being reasonable makes us doubt ourselves, and this will inevitably have a creeping detrimental impact on our self esteem.

If you can, try to remind yourself that you are being reasonable. You are. You are trying to do right by those kids and they are pushing back, but you are still not being unreasonable. YANBU Smile

This isn't meant to sound like psychobollocks, I am trying to express my own experiences in a way I hope will help, but I realise it sounds a bit cheesy, so apologies for that.

TheFallenMadonna · 01/04/2014 23:20

I think the kids usually think they are making reasonable requests. Wanting water? Going to the loo? Perfectly reasonable (and MN would agree with them...). They just don't get that when 30 of them are all making requests, the overall effect is unreasonable. And disruptive. "I was just..." is the refrain. They just don't get it.

I try to bear in mind that they think they are being utterly reasonable, and not deliberately trying to bug the hell out of me.

But this close to the end of term, I struggle with that!!

heymatilda · 06/04/2014 07:33

If you're not enjoying it anymore (and I can see why!) then leave. You should not hate yourself; you're an intelligent, hardworking person who deserves to be appreciated for giving so much of yourself to a job. There are other jobs out there. I left and the memories of those relentless, needless arguments with teenagers makes me shudder! x

LadybirdsEverywhere · 06/04/2014 21:04

Miss. Miss. Miss! Miss! MISS! MISS! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSS!

Ruprekt · 09/04/2014 21:37

How old is Joe?

Legologgo · 09/04/2014 21:39

Change schools

Cerisier · 10/04/2014 15:20

Change schools. I don't have to deal with anything like this and neither do my colleagues.

Legologgo · 10/04/2014 15:23

nope, nor here

i LOVE it (and its not private nor selective)

Ruprekt · 10/04/2014 15:53

Def change schools.

I work in Y3 and neither myself or the teacher I work with would put up with that.

Ask for some help.

Joe would be missing playtimes here.ConfusedConfused

Original poster
whatiftheskyshouldfall · 10/04/2014 19:38

Secondary.

Saying 'ask for help' is useless: surely I am not the only teacher who knows this! Anyway I don't need help: I manage behaviour well, in a very difficult borough, but just get knackered of being professional and polite ALL the time.

I feel better now. Just fed up of how relentless it is.

OP posts:
Ruprekt · 10/04/2014 20:12

Send him to the exclusion room then.

There are penalties for constant disruption ((knows this from Educating YorkshireSmileSmile))

Guitargirl · 10/04/2014 20:16

God, from your first post I thought you were teaching Reception Shock

I have no advice, I am not a teacher, but no job should make you feel like that. Maybe it is time to consider a move - for your mental health!

Original poster
whatiftheskyshouldfall · 10/04/2014 20:18

What exclusion room? Confused

I do love it when people think all schools are the same.

I am fed up of teenagers arguing with me: am I not allowed just to feel annoyed and fed up with it? It doesn't mean I am not doing a perfectly adequate job, just that I get sick of it. That's why I stated in the OP I don't want advice, I know what to do and I am doing it.

I just dislike it immensely.

In 'real life' - let's say you park somewhere by mistake and someone says 'excuse me could you let me park here as XYZ?' with a pleasant smile, you would. Teenagers don't! It gets a bit wearing.

OP posts:
kerala · 10/04/2014 20:24

Honestly don't know how teachers do it. My parents and sister teach so have seen how it wears you down dad was a shell after 35 years of it.

Ruprekt · 10/04/2014 20:46

Sorry. ConfusedConfusedConfused

Thought all schools had an exclusion room.

Rant away! ThanksWine