I feel really sorry for William

[ssd]

I'm not usually a fan , but I've been thinking about William. He must be absolutely reeling. His dad and his wife both have cancer. He doesn't talk to his brother and his mum died when he was young. I can't imagine the turmoil he is in, i hope he has good friends around him.

Stop being so bloody obtuse.

That article is trying (and failing in my opinion) to gloss over things. But it seems that you prefer others to take it at face value.

Read between the lines of that article and take heed, for once and for all - chemo isn't given to those who don't need it. In truth, there is no such thing as preventative chemo. Chemo is chemo is chemo.

Oh, and in response to your earlier statement:

But a healthy young woman having preventative chemo should recover.
I do not understand why so many of you are talking as if she is going to die?

I am a healthy young woman (under 50) with a cancer. I was given chemotherapy because there's a very real chance it will return either the form of a new primary, or secondary. It might not be today, tomorrow or a few years time, but there's every chance it could, or it might not. No-one can predict, this is the issue with cancer and what they're trying to say. It's not about dying, plenty of people live for years with cancer, even terminal ones. This is something anyone who has been treated for cancer will fear, its possible and in many cases, inevitable return.

Unfortunately, this could be a very real thing for PoW too, she is a mortal after all. Also, you have to take into account there might be something in her genomic essay that has added to the decision to give her chemo.

We just don't know. What I do know is that the only thing harder than being treated for cancer is watching one's loved ones going through cancer and its treatment themselves. (And I say this having lost both my parents to cancer, one when I was still a teen). I feel for anyone who is the same position as William. Money and status doesn't buy everything or peace of mind, even at times like this. All you can do is hope for the best, and have all the support you and your loved ones need.

All the money and riches in the world sadly can't prevent tragedy and he (and let's not forget his brother) have been no stranger to that.
The queen seemed like such a stable influence amidst all the chaos

I just can't see how He Sophie and Ed can do everything that a decade or so ago was done by about 10 senior Royals plus the work of the Kents and Gloucesters

He doesn't actually need to though

Obviously Covid was a very unusual period, but as we saw then the sky doesn't fall if they're not opening things and visiting things all the time, and if we have to have a monarchy at all I see nothing wrong with them being a sort of "background" thing, rolled out only for the really big occasions - especially if we could have a proper review of their actual value to match

Granted it would upset those who like to coo over the clothes and fantasise over what each gesture might mean, but other high profilers are available and at least many of them hold no power over us all

You really have some nerve in telling others that they are spreading misinformation when you are talking absolute nonsense.

Preventative chemotherapy is only given to patients with aggressive or high risk cancer (and younger patients are more likely to have aggressive disease). It helps reduce the risk of an occurrence but it certainly doesn't offer a cure.

We don't know what type of cancer Kate has, but using breast cancer as an example, around a third of women treated with preventative chemo will still progress to stage 4 and then die. I don't know where you got the idea that a patient who has had preventative chemo has to be unlucky to then relapse, but you are talking out of your arse.

I don't think anyone is wishing anything other than a rapid and full recovery for Kate, but the truth is what's happened to her isn't good and there's no way of glossing it as such.

I feel incredibly sorry for William, as a son, husband and father, for all the reasons others have written about upthread. He'd have to be a machine not to be affected by all that is going on and I hope he's getting plenty of support as well as giving it.

I think you are not entirely right about the situations in which preventative/adjuvant chemotherapy is used.

I had surgery for a stage 2 breast cancer which had not spread to the lymph nodes. The surgeon told me he was confident it had all been removed but that adjuvant therapy would be offered to be sure.

I was given chemotherapy and radiotherapy.

My cancer was not classified as very advanced or very aggressive.

As some one said up thread. Cancer is complex and treatments are constantly developing. We have no idea of the kind of cancer the PoW had but the fact that she is receiving preventative chemo does not necessarily mean that it was advanced or aggressive.

I googled ans this appears correct. I was wondering as the way it was presented I understood her to be cancer free, and this was to kill off any tiny cells they couldn’t see but might be lingering. A tough time ahead but a recovery pathway. Part of me was thinking Kate wasn’t talking like a cancer free patient where it was caught early and successfully removed. Even her family, her brother, we will climb the mountain together stuff,did make me concerned.

I was also thinking the same late last night despite not being a news follower or that interested in the royal family.

He'd be very alone immediate family wise should the worst happen.

Very sad.

But it does mean that it is considered high enough risk that the benefits of chemo outweigh the downsides. Chemo has a nasty habit of causing things like heart failure - doctors don't give adjuvant chemo unless the risk to life really warrants it.

Stage 2 breast cancer is high enough risk of recurrence for chemotherapy to be warranted, in most cases.

I'm amazed at the people discussing this and that in relation to cancer. I find it distasteful to be honest. Everyone's experiences are different. Every case is different. It is ghoulish to discuss what it might mean first to Kate or her family when no one knows except who needs to. I was sad to hear she had cancer - even though I do not know her personally - but do not feel the need to guess as to what type or stage. There is no point in me saying well I know x number of people who have had cancer and only x out of them are still alive. We all have horror or supportive stories. What is to be gained by this discussion? I would really love to know what people gain from surmising and guessing about someone's health.

Well that's the thing about freedom of speech. Why are you policing a discussion forum?

@Dollenganger333 no policing here. I asked a question.

Ok, well my take on it is that people discuss it because they relate.

We gain nothing. We discuss it because its human nature to do so.

@musthorse
I think talk of stages etc stemmed from a pp who couldn't understand why people were expressing sympathy because "Kate told us in her video she has had cancer and is having preventative chemo. That means we know her prognosis." (We don't.) And "Kate is having preventative chemo. That is not a life threatening situation."

Other pps then explained why it's not quite that simple.

Am curious. What grade was your cancer?

A stage 2 breast cancer is aggressive because it is not a DCIS. I too had a stage 2 IDC. What was feeding it? ER/PR+, HER2+ ( as you had chemo after surgery, am pretty sure it wasn't triple negative). If it was ER/PR+, was your tissue sent for oncotyping? Or do you have any genetic mutations. Lots of questions but these are all taken into account when giving chemo for breast cancer. Sometimes, even just having a stage 2 cancer (even with no spread) can call for chemo because during the time a cancer has grown to 20-50mm (the size parameters for stage 2), it will have been there long enough for there to be a real probability some cells have shed and circulated elsewhere.

Breast cancer also has a huge risk of recurrence, either as a secondary or a new primary. If there wasn't this risk, they would rely on surgery, radiotherapy, and where needed, hormone or immuntherapy alone. (Disregarding triple negative which has to be treated with chemo).

The thing is though, PoW does not have breast cancer, so none of this, particularly your treatment and chemo, has any relevance on her and her treatment/why she is being given chemo.

And this is what I was trying to stress in previous posts. No-one's cancer (or treatment) has any real relevance on anyone else's.

Like @musthorse, I can't quite believe people are discussing this to the extent they are. Just it alone. It's not for us to speculate, more so as they've made it quite clear they do not want to talk about the details. PoW is having chemotherapy. Leave it that.

And no, am not policing anyone on here (before I am accused of that). But come on, you really don't have anything more interesting to talk about than speculate on someone's health?

Off the point a bit (sorry) but though I love his poems, Larkin was a bit of curmudgeon!

Adrian Mitchell wrote this lovely response after a mishearing of that Larkin poem: :)

This Be the Worst

They tuck you up, your mum and dad,
They read you Peter Rabbit, too.
They give you all the treats they had
And add some extra, just for you.

They were tucked up when they were small,
(Pink perfume, blue tobacco-smoke),
By those whose kiss healed any fall,
Whose laughter doubled any joke.

Man hands on happiness to man,
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
So love your parents all you can
And have some cheerful kids yourself.

It's out of character, and look at the rumours it caused!

I would really love to know what people gain from surmising and guessing about someone's health

That’s not exactly what is happening here. Someone implied that there’s no need to feel sorry for William because his wife is going to be fine, and some posters have disputed whether that’s a given.

This inevitably leads to some discussion of cancer treatments, prognoses and personal experiences.

Absolutely. It was the day Catherine got her cancer diagnosis. Would anyone posting here have wanted to try to keep it together reading at a funeral when you have just found out your significant other and parent to your young children had learned they had cancer? Bear in mind that the other members of the family at the service would not have known about the diagnosis. William would have had to lead them all and try to keep it together. Nobody has a right to judge him for dropping out. The memorial was a private family event. The nosiness of reporters and members of the public did not make that service a public event.

The parents in law of the poor guy who shot himself were at the memorial. But you are right, W getting that shock news and racing home prior to the service at which he was to play a big part is totally and completely understandable.

It's just that at the time rumours were flying around due to the lack of information and people put two and two together to make a hundred.

The thread is about whether people feel sorry for William, acknowledging that he has faced and continues to face an especially challenging set of circumstances.

Most people are not speculating about the variety of cancer or being ghoulish, yet some posters seem determined that there is nothing to see here as it's "just" preventative chemotherapy.

It isn't being ghoulish to remind people that no one has chemotherapy for shits and giggles.

I have at most a mild interest in the Royals and would prefer a more equal society but I absolutely do feel empathy for them as a family right now.

Just seen Charles on the news. He doesn't look well at all.

No he really doesn’t. We would never know if the prognosis for either Charles or Kate isn’t as good as they are suggesting it is.

I thought he looked so like his father, I agree he doesn't look good