@smilesy and @MrsDanversGlidesAgain
Whilst visiting Buckingham Palace on the pretense of a jolly tea with QEII, Paddington stole Her Majesty's book of Marmalades, Jams and Royal Preserves. No ordinary cookbook, this volume contains the recipes for the preserves that keep the British people under control and loyal to the crown. How so? A secret ingredient is grown in laboratories in the basement of BP, a sweet and fragrant substance added to all the nation's toast toppings, containing a mind altering substance that sees the hoi polloi grinning inanely and genuflecting within 100 yards of a bit of ermine and a hint of tiara.
Whilst Paddington has the cookbook, and is currently offering up recipes on the Dark Web, he does not have access to the secret ingredients. A cabal of republicans led by sad man with blank piece of paper (identity as yet unknown because nobody ever remembers him) is hoping to adapt the recipes, replacing the sweet and fragrant ingredient with the a hint of sour lemons and the bile of disappointed Twitter blue ticks (under 500 followers only). With Owen Jones' face adorning the jars Paul Newman style, these new republican preserves will be sold in farmers' markets and independent grocers on Islington High Street. It is hoped that by eating these preserves, on £6 artisan breads and homemade scones, minds will be bent to the true path of righteous republicanism. A revolution without beheadings. A Revolution of Sourdough if you will. Project ARS for short.
007 has been dispatched to take out Paddington with extreme prejudice. He still has fond memories of parachuting into the Olympic Stadium with QEII, and is determined to take him out at any cost. Acting on Her Majesty's Secret Tea Service, 007 will ensure Paddington is a dead bear. The recipe book will be restored. Marmalade will once again prevail.
Don't tell Christopher Bouzy.