The irony is, that like much with Meghan, she went on to channel the opposite vibe. She has monogrammed door mats and wants to be known as the Duchess of Sussex and wants the most elevated title possible for her children.
I might have got this wrong, but didn't Harry say, over the Erdem dresses, that Meghan had said to him 'And she's not even a Queen!' about Catherine, showing Meghan is impressed by the distinctions of title and thinks it is all right to bags dresses, if you're the top Queen Bee.
I don't think the ripped jeans is about etiquette. I think Meghan adopted a natural, kind of ingenuous, 'Shucks! This is happening to little ol' me' persona, when she got engaged to Harry. He thought of the match, I think, like she was Kim or Kylie Kardashian, or Miss World, a glamorous trophy for him. He said, in his own words, family didn't expect him to get with a glamorous actress with a successful career, meaning a stunning, celebrity beauty.
I always saw pictures of Meghan looking sexy and glamorous, before this time when she got engaged. I can't think of many people as alluring and stunning as her, when she wants to channel the sensual siren vibe. She has lovely smouldering features and colouring. She's a muse, for any great artist. She's like Emma Lady Hamilton, Nell Gwynne and other great beauties of their day, no doubt, when she's doing that look.
And she's an actress and wants to channel different vibes.
That's ok. I think she went for the girl next door look, when she did early interviews with Harry, or had engagement photos taken. I think the ripped jeans was part of that: too informal, but a breath of fresh air, she thought people would feel. That's ok, but she just doesn't do role play well. It's always so obvious what she's trying to achieve. She's trying to look the opposite of how she looked before her engagement, to balance out the vibe.. She's thinking, 'People will think I'm after his money and a title, so I'll act very naive and clueless.' That's what all that 'Pleasure to meet you!' to the Queen and falling over doing a deep curtsey was about. But everyone sees through it, and think she is rather faking, because she's a crap actress, in real life.
None of this is problematic. It's only the leaving the Royal Family and dictating terms which is. And the running William and especially, Catherine, down is very bad.
I don't think Harry wanted to explain etiquette. He wanted to be an enfant terrible of the Royal Family, who had just brought the equivalent of Brigette Bardot, to meet his folks. He liked being a rogue royal. He probably never considered the wider implications beyond how he'd look with a beautiful woman on his arm. He didn't bother - ever in his life - about his own behaviour and not confirming, so why would he care what others said about hers.