Has Harry taken any responsibility for anything?

[Flakjacketon]

I haven't read Spare - I will do when I can get it from the library - so my knowledge of the content comes from the media - in all it's forms.

What is coming across in reports, is that Harry and Meghan are complete innocents who were, cruelly, driven out of the Family by jealousy - amongst other things

Has has he taken responsibility for anything that happened even in a small way?

Also, he wants his father and brother back but the ball is in the court of the RF. How can that happen? How can the RF have an open relationship with H&M, knowing that anything that is said could end up in another book or Netflix film.

It's not quite true either that the media have put a spin on it. What he's been criticised for (by military and ex-military) is putting a number out there. It doesn't matter what his motivation was, there was no need for him to do that. Just like there was no need for him to make chess pieces comment. Of course these comments are going to be taken out of context. What did he expect? For the Taliban to say 'oh, he just called our dead chess pieces to make suicidal British troops feel better. That's alright then.' What are his advisers doing!

We are on the same page - but I no longer need my hurt and pain to be recognised as it would make no difference I am done with most of my family - there is no pathway back, it was never healthy - I just put up with it to keep the peace, I can’t do that anymore, I’m not taking the blame for everything (although I suspect they are still finding a way to blame me in my absence) they can’t change and I don’t want toxic in my life - I hope H&M find peace but I doubt if they do it would ever be with the toxic mess they call their family.

Good. I'm glad someone's going to actually gasp read the book instead of repeating like parrots what the tabloids want them to think.

Harry wasn't the one writing the cheques in this story. Daddy was, and he is the one who stropped off when the money stopped rolling in. In your analogy, you're actually Charles.

I’m not planning to read it, but I’ve seen longer passages yesterday where the press have taken their quotes from and they don’t read how the press is spinning them... so I’d assume most of the press reports are like that.

What makes you think that the press are neutral? As a reporter you have almost no power. The editor and those who finance media have all the power.

@Curleduppup that's it exactly, eventually I reached the point where I no longer needed my family to recognise that they had hurt me. Well, I'm lying. I'm about 80% there. I would like it, but I've stopped trying.

It takes a long time to get there and in the process of trying, my family certainly behaved in that ''dignified silence'' way externally as in, there was no discussion and they mandated that. No discussion. But yet my anger around that was unacceptable. I had to respect their right to give me the silent treatment and smear me to the relatives.

The pain of this injustice was immense and it has taken 3 years to blow out. So I watch Harry and I know that if I'd had my opportunity to put my truth out there and get paid for it I would have been unable to resist.

So it's kind of educational and a bit triggering to watch how his side of the story hasn't changed people's opinions.

Writing the cheques is just one thing. In my family, my dad had been to a psychiatric hospitals a few times, with depression, paranoia and at one point paranoid delusions. And yet, astonishingly it was me who had the reputation for being ''paranoid''. I almost can hardly believe it still. It seems so unfair and so ridiculous. I used to give them push back by defending my interpretation of events but it just continued for decades. Like the cheques, the very first time I stood really, really firmly in my own interpretation of events, ie, I am not paranoid this must stop. I was basically written out. Cue instant DARVO and silent treatment.

So from my POV it took very little to be written out. My pain isn't real to them. I'm not real to them. I was only ever allowed to be in the family if I played the part they wrote for me (paranoid daughter) and it really has been so shocking and disappointing how quickly I was written out.

They're asking the question because they don't have the knowledge. It's a discussion forum after all.

I hope you're in a better place now. I don't blame you for looking on this all and relating it to what you've been through. I think most who have been in a family or relationship dynamic with manipulative people know how what presents itself to the public is not reality. And it's amazing how people will believe something (and rubbish the person who speaks out) in order to not have their ideals challenged.

Any autobiography or spoken account of a person's life is a personal view of course rather than a balanced one, but it's interesting that people would rather believe that everything in it is made up/fiction rather than confront the fact that the spin that they've been fed about this amazing super family might be quite a lot of bullshit.

Harry wrote about the 25 Taliban he killed. His words. There really is no debate. I’ve not seen the media saying he’s boasting. All the military personnel have been unanimous that it was not on. No one puts this in the public domain. That is the issue Harry now seeks to row back from.

Boasting is excessive pride and self satisfaction. Why mention a number if there’s no element of wanting to self promote though? It’s a huge mistake and very stupid. Of course it was a boast or it has no impact.

Just to add: my opinion is that it was a boast. To sell books. Interesting that posters seem to think we should all rush out and add to his millions!

Do we all believe they're a perfect family, though? Like the rest of us, they have the face they're prepared to show to the world, and this thing called a private life that isn't anybody else's business.

The boast thing is a good cover for him but ex / military have said it was wrong without the boasting part.

He seems like the last person to look at his own part in all this.

No we don't all. But many do. And the future of the monarchy rests on whether the majority believe they are worthy to be respected (and funded).

I don't think it will make much difference. People have already accepted the disaster of Charles' first marriage (including the leaks, planting and tell-all interviews). The people who dislike the whole idea of the monarchy in principal will criticise whatever they do. The pro-monarchists are pragmatic. As long as they do the job without complaining, they'll forgive a lot - as Camilla has shown.

I guess not surprising. I mean we put up with the shitshow of a tory government and Boris Johnson for long enough, our standards are pretty low 😁

I think The Firm is less sure than you are though and is ruthless in its protection of The Royal Family brand.

If that's the case, their ruthless protection strategy has spectacularly back-fired. The palace need to fire whoever thought it was a great idea to leak anti-Meghan stories to the press.

In reality they've probably just been given an MBE or something 😄

Er, they are though. Read the actual passage in context and he wasn’t bragging at all. He was commenting on how the machinery of modern artillery won’t let you forget the number.

And he is saying it as starkly as he did because there is a lot of guilt and subsequent suicide connected to “your number” and the main focus of his work is veterans.

the main focus of his work is veterans.

The majority of whom are roundly condemning him and, in come cases, saying this passage of the book has triggered them. So that’s gone well.

I think it was the individual press offices acting independently. Dead cat strategy but it has backfired because it's not just H&M looking bad now.

No I am not Charles I had no power. Discussions and decisions were made and my only input was being told I had to write a cheque - when I objected to the decision or questioned it, I was told, write the cheque or don't - no discussion was entered into - so I starting saying no - which meant no cheques - my siblings are very well off - they weren't desperate for my money, they just wanted me to acquiesce. I am trying to illustrate that toxic families make toxic decisions - I still do not understand some of the nastiness that my siblings have thrown at me in the past - I genuinely do not understand what has fuelled their deep-seated hatred of me - well I do, it involves a Queen Bee who could not control me and siblings who have seen her nasty side and are too cowardly to stand up to her and do the right thing. Toxic families do some weird nasty shit.

Yes because, as per usual, the tabloids have extracted his words from the context and reported that. And the veterans are reacted to the tabloid version; which is rather proving Harry’s point!

My dad got involved in a massive scam - borrowed money off a large number of people - behaved appallingly - but I ended up being the one who took the blame because I refused to pay off my siblings who had lent him money for the scam (without consulting me). I expected my Dad and my sibling who lent him the money to sort it out - it was not my business. That was the second time I had said no - the siblings I refused to pay off never spoke to me again other than to pass themselves publicly.