Was Princess Diana really as saintly as Harry (in particular) and the media make her out to be?

[Nosleepforthismum]

Just curious really to hear from those that remember the news coverage from when she was alive. I was only a kid when she died but some of her behaviour i.e. the Martin Bashir interview seems a little … dare I say, twatty? Is it not a basic unwritten rule that when you have kids with someone and then you split/get divorced you don’t slag off the other parent? I find it an interesting decision that she did that interview despite knowing the global interest it would generate and seemingly not giving a damn about how it would impact her kids.

I knew several journalists and photographers back in the mid-late 90s who had direct dealings with Diana and they all said the same thing: charming, charismatic, uniquely photogenic, but also wildly unpredictable and paranoid - although to be fair, now we know she had reason to be. She played photographers and favoured hacks off against each other constantly, blowing hot and cold without warning, and pretty much invented competitive briefing, leaking 'secret' photo ops before Palace events, upstaging Charles (not hard), etc. It's ironic that Harry accuses Camilla of 'getting into bed with the devil' when Diana was so shrewd at playing that game herself.

The sad thing is, she could use it to tremendous effect - the landmines campaign, for instance - and those final summer photos of her in a Red Cross vest and face shield were important for the charity, and also played a big part in steering her reputation in a saintly direction. Who knows how things would have played out, were Diana still around now. She'd either be amazing with social media or a complete liability.

Yes well that applies to all Royals surely? Even our late lamented Queen?

The Press blew very hot & cold with her from the time of her marriage onwards. Look at her family - the Spencers were known to be "tricky", going back hundreds of years. Her own parents had a disastrous marriage, and the divorce was very damaging to the young Diana.
She probably had MH problems (some possibly undiagnosed), but certainly an eating disorder.
She married the wrong person, which was a tragedy for both of them, but seemingly with no warning or support from her own family.
She did suffer brutal treatment from the press, especially paparazzi, but she also had favourite journalists and would feed them stories - especially if they made her look good / Charles look bad.
She had multiple affairs - no judgement, just fact. She was said to have made harassing phone calls to one partner, and his wife.
She is said to have embarrassed William with some of her behaviour but, to be fair to her, she was done up like a kipper by the obnoxious Bashir.

She shares her good points with Harry - warm, empathetic, funny, charming, great with kids, made the Royal Family seem more relaxed. It appears that the two of them also share bad points - falling out with family & friends on a whim, leaking to the press, selfush, needy, being unable to see other people's point of view.
Harry was so young, he clearly only has an idealised view of his mother - nobody is a saint.

I think Harry is a lot like Diana. Diana had a lovely manner with people, and Harry does too. They also both play the victim. Except having watched Harry's interview with Tom Bradby, there is an angry, cold side to Harry that I've not seen 'in action' before. Diana didn't have that.

She was an intensely flawed human.

Neither Saint nor Devil.

She had an arranged marriage that didn't work out (for many reasons), mainly because they just weren't suited. Both were incredibly needy people.

Yes, Charles had an affair, but Diana had several, and broke up at least 1 marriage. She was also utterly despicable to Tiggy Legge-Bourke purely because she was jealous of the relationship she had with Diana's sons.

Harry idolises her because I don't think he was old enough to see her flaws before she died. William was - she used to lock herself in the bathroom crying and William would push tissues under the door for her.

She could be wonderful and caring, but also thoughtless and selfish. She was human.

I don't believe she would agree with what Harry is doing or saying frankly.

I have no idea what my phone is doing to create that spacing

It is the spirit of Diana, inserting meaningful pauses between your sentences, gazing upwards through her lashes all the while.

Not remotely.

She did part of her job well but the rest of it really really badly. She and Fergie both behaved appallingly and influenced each other.

We didn't watch her funeral but it seemed like everyone else did - we went to the shops (we were living in London back then) and most places were closed and it was like a ghost town.

Totally bemused by it. I didn't realise that I would seriously piss people off by saying how ridiculous I thought it all was; a whole load of people stopped talking to me altogether and I really had to hold my tongue. It was stupid and self-indulgent and balmy!

THIS!!
People liked her because she showed herself as a real and flawed human being. She was very warm and was brilliant with the public. She was also brave and worked on hugely controversial issues at the time like Aids and Land Mines and made a real difference.

She had bulimia and was at times depressed. I am sure she was snippy at times, liked attention at times and hated it at other times, but she came across as a real human being who was relentlessly attacked by the press after it was clear Charles and her were no longer the fairytale marriage. Many things said about her were disgusting.

There is also an attempt to rewrite history and portray her as a mad manipulative woman in the attic type.

Also she was seen as fun while Charles was seen as stuffy. Diana and Sarah Ferguson went on a night out in fancy dress in ordinary clubs and no one knew who they were.

Rewriting the narrative is interesting. For example that William pushed tissues underneath the bathroom door to her as an example of her being an unfit mother. We have no idea of the context and if it was a one off. We do not even know if Diana was emotionally upset or physically hurt. My DD gave me tissues when she was 3 years old and I cried because I had really hurt myself in an accident.

But that is the convenient part I guess of her being dead. The palace can say whatever they want about her and never be contradicted.

The press definitely held a few things back about Diana. I know that for a fact.

As for her being “manipulative” - that has been said by the press, her staff and her friends.

I’m surprised you’re outraged and questioning of that. You mentioned her press secretary earlier. He implied if not outwardly said that she was manipulative, and said that she was at times cruel to staff.

amp.theguardian.com/uk/2000/sep/25/monarchy.stephenbates

Manipulative is an interesting word, often flung at woman rather than men. It is a clearly gendered word.

So true! Glad someone else sees it. Thought I was going as mad as the media are all trying to make out Diane was for a second there!

I agree it’s somewhat of a gendered word @BradfordGirl but it is a word that has been used a lot about Diana by people who knew her, including women, and used justifiably.

She was a damaged and unhappy human being. Of course she wasn't perfect.

Charles gave an interview too, you know.

I think press coverage about her was mainly positive.

The fact that she was shagging multiple married men was generally glossed over by the press whereas Camilla was repeatedly called an ugly marriage wrecking slag.

I couldn't bear Diana and in particular the way she used to look out from under her eyes and simper. Silly mare. I am in a minority though, most people loved her.

I was a fan but also shocked by her multiple affairs, especially going after married men. And as well as using William as an emotional crutch, she would take them along when meeting her lovers. Definitely with James Hewitt, visiting him at home in Devon.
It's interesting , when old fashioned virtues like honour, loyalty, discretion are in such short supply that several of her lovers have never said a word (or very few words if I missed them). James Gilbey, Will Carling. I suspect she never succeeded with Oliver Hoare despite pursuing him but he has never spoken.

She made all those phone calls to him and put the phone down if his wife answered so the wife called the police and it was investigated. I remember the panorama interview and she was specifically asked about phone calls emanating from Kensington palace and she said (I paraphrase from memory) " yes, I've looked into it personally and it was a small boy" and then quickly moved the conversation along. I can still picture my friend who was watching with me bursting into laughter and saying incredulously "Small boy????? You'll have to do better than that Diana". I suppose she was implicating William. Or Harry.
There is a section of the interview on YouTube but not that bit. It has been disappeared forever.

She could also be quite spiteful - accusing Tiggy LeggeBourke of having an abortion at a staff Christmas party, but then that rumour had been planted by Bashir. Though it's amazing she would have believed that he was having an affair with Tiggy given the presence of Camilla.

She could also be very kind and she did commit herself to her charities and really did make a difference to many people.

She had charm and beauty and many people, even anti-royalists would be completely overwhelmed when they met her.

Just to throw in as well, whilst much is made of the age difference with Charles people now tend to see him as his older self. But before marrying Diana Charles had A LOT of glamorous girlfriends, some not married who were immediately earmarked by the press as potential wives, and some married. Women really threw themselves at him - literally in one case I remember of a woman who rushed into the surf in Australia to give him a hug. There'll be a photo of that somewhere. I would say he was seen as much more of a catch back then than people now would think.

Well until it starts being used for men as well I am ignoring it.

Also regarding criticism of her not seeing much of the boys in the holidays - when they separated the deal was 50:50.
So she had had the boys at the start of the holidays that year, and dragged them off on holiday with Al Fayed (William reportedly said it was the worst holiday of his life, poor chap, watching her flirting with Dodi and the press). Then they joined Charles at Balmoral. Diana has nothing to do for the next four weeks so had back to back holidays punctuated by some land mine work.

I get so fed up of the attempts to rewrite history. People talk about her TV interview forgetting that Charles did a TV interview first where he criticised the parenting of his parents and in particular the Queen. It was very harsh, but gets forgotten now.
The mad accusations have always been a way to try and get everyone to dismiss what she said.

@ShamedBySiri I can see William would not have liked that. But William also is supposed to have felt guilty because he knew about Charles and Camilla having an affair and felt guilty he did not tell his mother. That is far mo0re damaging.

I think she knew the score too. It was an arranged marriage, it's not like they had a romantic courtship.

Evidence for your assertion she knew the score?
Everything she has said points to the opposite conclusion.

This woman really did ambush Charles!

@ShamedBySiri Except Charles does not look that much of a catch there! It is because he was a Prince.