I can’t understand that she knew ‘nothing’ about royal protcal

[Slimmer2018]

It’s normal practice to brief your partner on your family’s habits when initially introduced. What to talk to about with dad (football, golf, cars etc) what granny likes (bingo, knitting etc) I’m being stereotypical here but my point is - surely Harry must’ve briefed his future wife on what happens in the ‘family’ I can’t understand why Megan says it was a surprise to her that she had to curtsey to grandma and that she felt it was formal behind closed doors - Harry had lived that life so why was it such a shock to Megan?? What did she expect?? My thoughts are that she wanted to make changes that really couldn’t be made. To me I feel she just didn’t want to conform to the royal family from the outset. You can’t break hundreds of years of tradition as she tried to do… and I don’t believe she hadn’t researched…

Also Harry will have been brought up knowing what to say, how to address people according to rank, will be well travelled and socially aware. He would know not to comment on politics or anything vaguely controversial.

I worked with a posh bloke once, eton, Cambridge, uncle was an Earl etc- i was brought up aspirational working class and had “manners” hammered into me, but he was a whole other level. It was just ingrained- while I would be make a conscious effort to get things right, he’d be easily chatting to everyone not giving social etiquette a thought as it was just natural.

proper posh is a whole different world. I’m sure it is in the US as well.

"It’s not impossible that someone from another country didn’t know about the queen’s grandchildren."

Its not impossible, but unlikely in Meghan's case, particularly the circle she hung out with in Toronto.

The husband of her best friend, Jessica Mulroney, had a longstanding working relationship with canadian Elaine Liu, who runs Laineygossip, a celebrity gossip site, I used to follow it

For years Lainey wrote articles and gossip about Harry, her nickname for him was 'Hot Harry on a Horse', she also wrote copiously about William and Kate. This was all prior to Harry and Meghan ever getting together.

There are photos of Meghan with Lainey Liu, Jessica Mulroney and Jessica's husband, long before Meghan met Harry.

I can't understand it either OP. She is known to have a strong work ethic and attention to detail in all other matters. T's crossed and I's dotted.

Why did she not apply this when making the biggest decision of her life, joining the RF? Baffles me.

@sausage767, she made an effort time and again and was ridiculed for it. There was nothing to ridicule but that's how Brits naturally responded. I remember when she wrote messages for women in some kind of shelter and even that was turned into a days-long hounding in the media, where thousands of people piled on with comments. The average Brit would not write an encouraging note for a stranger. That's not part of the culture. But everyone knows there are different practices elsewhere and most people know that kind of thing is common in the US. She showed up, dressed appropriately, and adhered to protocol at many events. Yet negative, nasty Brits turned every effort into a reason to moan and bully.

As for what happened within the family, who knows. There are people here saying she should have expected formality within the family, but that's just not the way things are in California. The more powerful people are, the less formal they tend to be there. It would have struck anyone (even the average Brit) as totally ridiculous to have to use formal protocol in private with family members and God knows the royals have met enough foreigners to be aware of that.

"It’s not impossible that someone from another country didn’t know about the queen’s grandchildren."

Its not impossible, but unlikely in Meghan's case, particularly the circle she hung out with in Toronto.

Also, she knew Eugenie before meeting Harry.

Her best friend Misha NoNoo was previously married to Harry and William's best friend, There are photos of Harry, Kate, William, Beatrice, Eugenie and the whole Midleton family at Misha Noon's first wedding, they subsequently divorced.

I am not saying this would have helped her understand protocol or the machinations of the Royal Family, but it would be strange that she knew nothing about Harry or any of the Queens grandchildren.

I remember when she wrote messages for women in some kind of shelter and even that was turned into a days-long hounding in the media, where thousands of people piled on with comments.

Hang on, do you mean the messages she wrote on bananas? You honestly can't see why some people would take issue with this, or at the very least take the piss out of it?

@ArseInTheDogBowl, having a laugh about it is one thing. That isn't what happened. There was a media storm. Much of it was organized by creepy, obsessed Piers Morgan and as usual, no one called him out. Multiple articles per day for days and then more articles that stretched over weeks and weeks. Tens of thousands of comments that weren't about light-hearted joking but were truly nasty and awful.

I'd like to believe that you're being disingenuous because it's concerning if you actually don't get why this situation was a problem.

Denmark is an interesting choice. Princess Mary of Denmark was born Mary Donaldson from Tasmania ... she seems to have been able to appreciate royal protocol without being 'born to it' or even be from the Royal Family she is used to.

@Antst and you can't see how writing messages on bananas for sex workers is deeply offensive?

@ArseInTheDogBowl, she wasn't the one who chose the banana idea. And good effort at continuing to come up with excuses and deflections, but no, I don't believe for a second that the average sex worker would be offended by the use of bananas. I don't believe you think that either.

I remember reading that Meghan was presented with a file of information on the etiquette surrounding the royals. In addition to Harry as a guide, Sophie Wessex was nominated as Meghan’s mentor who she could ask for advice. Presumably a good choice as another “commoner” who had married into the royal family.

Clearly the support and information was there, had Meghan wished to access it.

Was it not based on something she had seen done for schoolchildren?

Glad you can speak for all sex workers. Wasn't one of her messages 'Work hard!'? Very appropriate for someone in that situation.

I disagree. We all don't default to the lowest common denominator.

When I met my partner’s parents and grandparents I learnt the customary way of greeting in their culture/religion, which is still the way I greet them.

It was clearly all BS from the start as is the relationship. Sadly, it has produced two very unfortunate children who are going to have to put up with these clowns parenting them for years.

Have you ever lived in a different culture OP? If you have then you would understand. Stop blaming Megan for the crime of being American. It’s tiresome.

Meghan said that when she was in the car on the way to meet the Queen for the first time, Harry asked if she knew how to curtsey. Fergie was there when they arrived and quickly took her aside to show her. Why had Harry not prepared her? He’s been around this his whole life, he must know what a curtsey looks like? Same with their first royal walkabout, Harry claims to not know the protocols around what the women should wear etc. He couldn’t have asked the aides? With everything he’d seen growing up, all he’s said about Diana and other women marrying into the family, surely he could have spent an hour going through all the protocols with her.
Plus, Meghan was good friends with Eugenie, a princess by birth. Again, a quick chat with her to get the run down.

And then wearing ripped jeans and bare feet on meeting William and Kate for the first time. Why not just ask Harry what would be appropriate?

Harry seems to be playing dumb, as if he didn’t know how to act, and couldn’t prepare Meghan. And she, a smart, experienced, worldly woman, couldn’t muster any initiative to ask Eugenie, or Zara, or Harry’s other close cousins. Even if there was no relationship with Kate, there are plenty of people they could have asked, even if it was ladies in waiting, or royal dressers or whoever.

I didn't think they Curtsied behind closed doors. I thought in the privacy of their own homes they'd unclench.

The "welcome" Meghan got in the UK was absolutely shameful and disgusting. It said far more about Brits than her

I think this is a pretty shameful comment from you actually - I don’t know what you’ve based it on. As working Royals they didn’t exactly break a sweat in comparison to the older Royals (who conduct more than 500 official engagements a year )but the ones they went to were well attended and reported. No carriages or horses to their visit to Brixton which you probably don’t care to remember. Both of them had high approval ratings and only 14% of the population reported any issue with her colour / nationality. 69% didn’t care.
( source YouGov). I did see on the Last Leg recently a comment that the majority of the online hate for MM was originating from a very small number of Twitter accounts so maybe the perception of the British public were racist comes from a small minority who make a big noise. I personally had a great deal of time for them in the beginning and have changed my mind over the last four years. Presumably I caught racism like Covid during lockdown.

they say being the key phrase. If someone introduced themselves with “hi, I’m Bob” then that’s different to me going over and introducing myself with “hi, professor green, I’ve been meaning to speak to you about..”

the older generation in particular would expect to be addressed formally until told otherwise. My mum still expects “Mrs Smith” and will take and instant dislike to anyone who calls her by her first name without invitation. I knew a couple of retired GP’s in my nan’s care home who insisted on “dr x”, and thought carers using first names was overfamiliar.

I would have been suprised if the queen was ok with anyone introducing themselves with “hi Liz, I’m Meghan” however informal the setting 😂

Yes, and if I didn’t observe local customs and got pulled up on it I wouldn’t use ignorance as an excuse.

when I go to the US I tip according to their custom, even though I disagree with it. No excuse for not knowing.

in Italy I cover my shoulders in Church, and don’t claim they all hate me for not allowing me inside because I didn’t know.

I don’t expect to go to the Middle East and drink alcohol in the street, and claim I didn’t know.

to marry a member of the royal family and claim to not be aware that there would be royal protocol and rules is just daft.

I remember very well the reception Meghan got from the public and press at the start.

It was overwhelmingly POSITIVE with very few snidey exceptions referencing Wallis Simpson.

The first negative press I recall was when Meghan stepped in front of the Queen to get into a car before her. That raised eyebrows. Then I remember the rightful criticism of Princess Michael of Kent for wearing the Bkackamoor brooch so disingenuously. She was slapped down fir that all over the papers.

As the Queen so succinctly expressed "recollections may vary"

I’ve said this before she’s either dense as anything or just so entitled that she thinks Megan doesn’t need to bow .
I mean wtf didn’t Harry brief her ? Is she daft. I’d be fuming with Harry for not giving me the heads up .
I mean it’s like anything when you meet your other half’s family especially a different culture/ class you’d ask questions or expect to be told how to behave it’s really not rocker science. She’s one of those people that like to pretend they are daft for attention it’s tedious and annoying as fuck but she’s making her and Harry look complete fools.
hopefully they will both go away soon .

@Antst you state she ‘dressed appropriately and adhered to protocol’.. from the very start she didn’t. Her first engagement with the Queen, she was advised to wear a hat. Which she didn’t, and very quickly her hair looked like a rats nest. And she made several protocol snafus such as pushing in front of the Queen.

Then they were off to Australia, where she did a walkabout in a completely see through skirt that showed her underpants, and behaved abhorrently to her hosts (the Governor General) and his staff.

My thoughts exactly. I suspect that they are cautious about how they speak and behave around new people. Meghan probably misinterpreted their caution as formality or coolness.