I can’t understand that she knew ‘nothing’ about royal protcal

[Slimmer2018]

It’s normal practice to brief your partner on your family’s habits when initially introduced. What to talk to about with dad (football, golf, cars etc) what granny likes (bingo, knitting etc) I’m being stereotypical here but my point is - surely Harry must’ve briefed his future wife on what happens in the ‘family’ I can’t understand why Megan says it was a surprise to her that she had to curtsey to grandma and that she felt it was formal behind closed doors - Harry had lived that life so why was it such a shock to Megan?? What did she expect?? My thoughts are that she wanted to make changes that really couldn’t be made. To me I feel she just didn’t want to conform to the royal family from the outset. You can’t break hundreds of years of tradition as she tried to do… and I don’t believe she hadn’t researched…

I found her exaggerated curtsey moment on the Netflix show to be quite bizarre. She seemed to make it into a huge deal. A quick look on YouTube and you find hundreds of videos of female royal family members curtseying to the queen. It doesn't look particularly tricky or exaggerated. Very odd that she thought behind closed doors they weren't so formal. Harry would have known and besides they aren't actors in a film pretending to be royal. They actually are.

I think Meghan thought the rules didn’t apply to her.

Zara has done a good job explaining the protocol to MT who appears to have fitted in nicely.

This

I really don't think they curtsy to each other in private, but they did all curtsy to the Queen. I expect that has been relaxed now a bit with KC, I can't imagine them doing it to him in private.

I think W&C were on their guard and formal with M, prob went to shake hands and she threw a hug which wasn't well received. I don't like being hugged by people I don't know so I understand that. We've seen them hugging in other circs eg Mike Tindall giving W a big hug so it's not that they don't do it, just not at first meetings.

I hadn't really thought about it, but just logically why would you only curtsey in public? What would be the point if you didn't do it in private as well

Seriously, you can't understand that someone from a different country and culture might need to adjust??

Even Diana was apparently taken aback by some royal protocol and she grew up in the UK and in an aristocratic family.

I have dual citizenship and have been utterly ashamed and embarrassed by the "welcome" Meghan got. People targeted her from day one. I remember seeing the online comments about Kate go from horrible to nice on the very day of Harry and Meghan's engagement and not understanding the reason for the sudden switch until I read the comments on articles about Meghan and Harry. Bullying, nasty, small-minded Brits decided they'd rather have a commoner like Kate after all than a brown, outspoken American.

Something I see often is that when British people go to the US, people nearly always accept their differences and are tolerant and welcoming. Harry is a good example. He has been welcomed in the US. No one has written articles criticizing his efforts to fit in or awkward things he has said. Kate and William have been welcomed. The bottom line is that British people never seem to notice when people are going out of their way to be accepting and tolerant because there often isn't even a concept that things can be done differently.

Who knows how much of in the papers is true or whether people involved remember exact wording accurately (which can make a difference). I'm not interested in reading the details of every drama in the situation. But I certainly do notice that people had zero problem with reading relentlessly negative articles about Meghan and Harry for years. Now we find out that Harry's family could have been involved. Yet now that Harry and Meghan are telling their side, people are dumping on them for doing it. They deserve to defend themselves. None of us, me included, would be sitting back in silence if other people were trashing us.

Imagine curtsying constantly to your grandmother, or anyone in your family for that matter. Absolutely hilariously loopy.

That said, I took the exaggerated curtsy thing in the doco to be MM making fun of herself, not the queen or the protocol. More of a “had no idea wtf I was doing so did the most ridiculous curtsy I could imagine to not underwhelm”. I mean I’m no defender of her, find her terribly self involved and entitled but there are so many sides to blame in this whole circus.

This. I don’t doubt they curtsied or bowed to the late Queen out of respect. I seriously doubt the Duke of Edinburgh ever did, in private.

I also expect Charles is a lot more relaxed about it with family members etc.

I really don’t think William and Kate expect people to curtsey and bow to them, in public or private. And Harry didn’t say the formality was that they expected Meghan to curtsey. I expect it was more that they greeted her, well dressed, in a quite formal room. Maybe there was a silver tray of canapés and cocktails. In other words, they weren’t lounging around in activewear in front of the tv with a bucket of original recipe.

But she did know… she performed a perfectly acceptable curtsey on Suits. So why the pretence that she didn’t have a clue?

This.

She also did ballet as a child and would definitely have learned how to curtsey.

I often wonder if Meghan thought they’d be a bit in awe of her, US celeb style,

She was in one, not that well-known, tv show. It's not like she's Beyonce or someone.

And I would imagine the curtsey to the late Queen by members of the family, in a private setting, was a simple bob up and down. And only required once per day, not every time they go in and out, is that really so onerous?

I agree with this too.
I am from an established predominately white culture that is not England (I myself am mixed) and I think there is a general view around the world that its Ok to make fun of culture from these sort of countries. People wouldn't dream of challenging a cultural routine performed by a small tribe somewhere - they would respect it. So what is the big deal about respecting cultural behaviour that has been going on in the UK for years?

@Antst Seriously…. have you not read the many accounts that Meghan was offered help, advice and mentorship. That the Queen offered the services of one of her senior aides, and personal guidance from Sophie. Meghan turned them all down. So what effort did she put in? A little effort would have gone a long way in the public’s acceptance of her, but she stubbornly thought the royal family would conform to her, not the other way around.

Princess Mary learned Danish ffs, what did Meghan do?

@sausage767, it's completely normal to have a hard time getting used to other people's cultural quirks. I have lived in various countries for work and school and i every situation, it took effort to learn how people did things and avoid offending anyone.

Your attitude is very telling. Notice that there have been zero reports where Harry has been criticized in the US. That's not because he would have done everything perfectly. It's because people are decent and kind and understand he is a foreigner who needs to learn how things are done. And because they don't make a big deal out of things.

The "welcome" Meghan got in the UK was absolutely shameful and disgusting. It said far more about Brits than her.

@watchfulwishes
DH is a professor. There has been no situation whatsoever in his non working life when anybody has called him that. It would be like something out of a film in the 1950s. I doubt anybody at his work at a university ever calls him professor either, unless perhaps introducing him before a presentation. I also work at a university and have a doctorate. Nobody ever calls me Dr!

@Antst you admit you made an effort. Again, what effort did Meghan make?

But then again I can't believe she didn't at least once introduce Harry to her dad .Or that they didn't make the effort to see him.They had no finance problems. And after only 2 dates M dropped everything to fly out to Botswana on holiday with H. Whatever Thomas did prior to the wedding it wasn't that long before she had praised him as her beloved dad.They are both as bad at preparing each other for their respective families and how each could impact their relationship. They made things incredibly harder from the start and yet now everyone else is to blame.

This.
And - disclaimer here as I'm going by what I see on tv - in America people often seem, initially at least, to address others formally in early days. So my daughters friends or boyfriend wouldn't call me by my first name but "Mrs TellMeWhen".

So it seems formal at first is the way to g

Do you mean the cheering and waving and huge welcome that the British public gave Meghan on the day of her wedding? There is countless footage from the day and interviews with Brits saying how fantastic it is that Meghan had joined the family.

That’s how I read it - self mockery! With an element of “a little bob curtesy might not be enough, I should do more”

@Stepuptowardsinfinity, good try but that's ridiculous. No, I mean the years of relentless nastiness. People turn out to see a spectacle with pretty clothes and carriages. The wedding lasted less than a day. The nastiness stretched on and on for years and in the middle of the Me Too movement, very few called out creepy Piers Morgan, who Meghan rejected, for orchestrating it. That's not a guess on my part, he has been open about it.

So what is the big deal about respecting cultural behaviour that has been going on in the UK for years?

Because it's nonsensical class based nonsense.

Whilst I personally may have curtsied for the Queen in respect of her experience and knowledge, I would not do so for any other member of the Royal Family, including the now King. They do not deserve deference through an accident of birth or marriage, especially not in a private setting.

I'm sure Meghan knew about what to do in public but to expect formality in their home is bonkers.

Of course she knew but for some reason she’d rather people thought she was perpetually ignorant of all things royal. If she goes in to politics and tries to be president is she going to say Oh but I didn’t know it was potentially dangerous, I didn’t know I’d have to live in the White House, I didn’t know I’d have to speak to other world leaders, of course not - suddenly she’d be the most well briefed, educated person in that subject. Harry’s royal status was a means to an end, she wasn’t interested in anything else to do with royalty.