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The royal family

Bookclub for Spare

615 replies

BornBlonde · 05/01/2023 20:28

I know there are loads of threads, but thought it may be useful to set up a bookclub thread ahead of the release date fir those interested. I've ordered the audiobook as struggling to find time to read at the moment but love I can listen to an Audiobook while cooking etc

OP posts:
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6
milti · 11/01/2023 20:49

Sole purpose of derailing them! calling out bs more like

milti · 11/01/2023 20:50

@onlylarkin I’ll pass thanks

onlylarkin · 11/01/2023 21:16

"All was justified because I was royal, and in their minds royal was synonymous with non-person."

Ouch. Sadly, this is still happening.

PreparationPreparationPrep · 11/01/2023 21:16

He was never able to grieve and properly process what happened to his mother because he refused to believe she was really dead. This has led to clear mental health issues

His dad should have stepped in especially when he keeps repeating his mum has disappeared - his teachers and house masters must have been aware he was suffering. They all failed him any other family - social services would have called. it looks like the adults just stuck their head in the sand.,

PreparationPreparationPrep · 11/01/2023 21:28

It's noticeable how much he wanted his dad's time. From going to Klostere/ Botswana each time he was noticeably happy to have some alone time with him.

Aspiringmatriarch · 11/01/2023 21:30

Really interesting posts @MrsMaxDeWinter and I agree with your assessment pretty much word for word @Harrysfrostbittentodger - I'm definitely understanding and sympathising with his point of view while at the same time thinking he may not have made things easier for himself due to his unhealthy obsessiveness about the press.
I agree with you both about Charles' character and also that it's a great shame they handled Diana's death so badly. I imagine they wanted to give him a sense of normality but by almost ignoring it and leaving him in turmoil and denying the reality of what happened for years. It's so sad.

Aspiringmatriarch · 11/01/2023 21:36

PreparationPreparationPrep · 11/01/2023 18:42

Yes but I didn't really see it as neglect as this is the upper class lifestyle. I just thought they were having great fun and it's similar to how we played in the 70s in parks and woods rather than sprawling family land, with lots of freedom instead of over anxious parents standing at the sideline and with bicycles abs sticks rather than ranger rovers and shotguns Smile

I agree it sounds great fun in a way, lots of adventures and freedom but I was struck by how normalised a certain level of brutality was! I think where people rightly say Harry lacks sensitivity, he grew up in an environment where that would not have been welcomed.

Another thing that made me sad was reading that he never had a hug from his granny (i.e. the Queen obviously!) They had a good relationship but it just wasn't done. I would never have thought quite that level of formality or distance would exist within the family.

Blossomtoes · 11/01/2023 21:42

I would never have thought quite that level of formality or distance would exist within the family.

Really? The Queen hadn’t seen Charles for months at this point. She shook his hand.

Bookclub for Spare
Aspiringmatriarch · 11/01/2023 21:47

I know - but I suppose I just felt that was another time and people do change behaviours as times change.

MrsMaxDeWinter · 11/01/2023 21:50

It is very strange that no one held Harry after the news. Or even William. I just can't get past that. Especially as Charles seems like a sensitive man, who himself suffered from cold parenting. I just don't get it. You want to be your lover's tampon, but can't hug your children after telling them their mother died?

Blossomtoes · 11/01/2023 21:52

MrsMaxDeWinter · 11/01/2023 21:50

It is very strange that no one held Harry after the news. Or even William. I just can't get past that. Especially as Charles seems like a sensitive man, who himself suffered from cold parenting. I just don't get it. You want to be your lover's tampon, but can't hug your children after telling them their mother died?

Your parents teach you how to parent. If your mum shakes your hand when you’re a tiny boy, you don’t really know much about hugs I guess.

MrsMaxDeWinter · 11/01/2023 22:14

I guess so @Blossomtoes but I read somewhere that you should parent like you would have liked to be parented. so you break the cycle.

In other news, Penguin Random House has released a statement to say Harry has broken Obama's record, of 800 000 sold in one day, with 1.4 million copies sold on the first day, 1 million in the US, and 400k in the UK.

The US first print run was 2 million. They have sold half the print run on the first day and have ordered a second print run.

Wow.

onlylarkin · 11/01/2023 22:50

I can't wait to see the NYT vest seller list.

onlylarkin · 11/01/2023 22:53

Best

MrsTag · 11/01/2023 22:56

onlylarkin · 11/01/2023 22:50

I can't wait to see the NYT vest seller list.

Probably more interesting 😂

onlylarkin · 11/01/2023 23:16

🤣

Aspiringmatriarch · 11/01/2023 23:38

MrsMaxDeWinter · 11/01/2023 22:14

I guess so @Blossomtoes but I read somewhere that you should parent like you would have liked to be parented. so you break the cycle.

In other news, Penguin Random House has released a statement to say Harry has broken Obama's record, of 800 000 sold in one day, with 1.4 million copies sold on the first day, 1 million in the US, and 400k in the UK.

The US first print run was 2 million. They have sold half the print run on the first day and have ordered a second print run.

Wow.

Wow! 😯😯😯

BornBlonde · 11/01/2023 23:52

Work is really getting in the way of my Spare listening! Only at the part where he's started dating Chelsea

OP posts:
Ticketyboots · 12/01/2023 00:30

Harrysfrostbittentodger · 11/01/2023 20:30

I’m probably about half way through part 2 of the book. These are the main things I have took from it so far:

  • He was never able to grieve and properly process what happened to his mother because he refused to believe she was really dead. This has led to clear mental health issues
  • he has an unhealthy obsession and hatred of the media (not unwarranted but still not healthy) and he blames them for ALL of his problems even when that’s not always the case (ie he blames them solely for Diana’s death, not the fact that she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and the driver was drunk/he’s bitter they exposed him as a drug user when he was actually using drugs albeit not to the level they claimed etc)
  • He has abandonment issues (again understandable considering what happened to his mum) which is why he was hurt William tried to ditch him at Eton and why he was so affected when Charles and Harry got married (he knew he wouldn’t see them as much because they now had their own lives that didn’t revolve around him)
  • Charles seems like a very sweet, loving man but he’s slightly useless and doesn’t live in the real world (like asking Harry to write letters rather than call home when he was in the army) and has his own emotional problems (he can’t praise his son face to face, he writes it in a letter and leaves it on his bed)
  • William just seems like a typical older brother. They love each other and there is concern for each other but he clearly wants to hang out with other people. Harry seems a little jealous (in a little brother type of way) and thinks William is also jealous of him (he has more freedom to do what he does) but I would say that this idea seems more like Harry projecting his feelings rather than based on any evidence in anecdotes (so far at least). Also, he has also changed the narrative and says that looking back, what he thought was brotherly banter was actually William being jealous, which smacks of revisionism to me.
  • He has (or at least had) very warm feelings for Kate. He loves her like a sister, thinks she’s sweet and always wants to make her laugh. He dreams about the day when they will be the Fab Four (which makes me wonder if the subsequent issues between William, Kate & Meghan hurt him more than we realise)
  • The army was the best place for him. He felt focused, energised and that he had a purpose. It afforded him the privacy he wanted. He also clearly enjoyed the camaraderie, which again makes me think he has abandonment issues.

It’s an interesting read, I feel more sorry for him that I thought I would, but I think he is very paranoid and vulnerable, he isn’t always a reliable narrator and it looks like there’s an element of revisionism in his stories.

Also, he has also changed the narrative and says that looking back, what he thought was brotherly banter was actually William being jealous, which smacks of revisionism to me.

Yes and he goes on to inadvertently expand on this in Anderson Cooper interview where he says that they never got on as brothers and he needed to make this really clear in the book because the public / press assume that there rupture was the last 6 years since MM came on the scene.

He’s basically rewritten history to improve MM reputation.

Justasec321 · 12/01/2023 02:42

Ticketyboots · 12/01/2023 00:30

Also, he has also changed the narrative and says that looking back, what he thought was brotherly banter was actually William being jealous, which smacks of revisionism to me.

Yes and he goes on to inadvertently expand on this in Anderson Cooper interview where he says that they never got on as brothers and he needed to make this really clear in the book because the public / press assume that there rupture was the last 6 years since MM came on the scene.

He’s basically rewritten history to improve MM reputation.

Or maybe......it's true!

Hidingawaytoday · 12/01/2023 07:12

I've just listened to the bit about the cottage at Balmoral, where he talks about his grandfather 'at his grill at the back' and teaching his gran gran about Ali G, and you can really hear the love in his voice. Really makes it hit home that he's lost his family as well as his 'job'. And completely different to how you thought they'd be given their lack of empathy over Diana.

toomuchlaundry · 12/01/2023 07:20

So how does bringing down the monarchy fit with Harry saying he believes in it and wants a role in the Commonwealth?

Boulshired · 12/01/2023 08:26

I think in Harry mind he is bringing the monarchy into account so it can begin a fresh. He in many respects has a saviour complex from tackling racism (which he’s guilty of), sexism (his language around some women in the book is dreadful), media intrusion (the irony). It’s easy for him to call Camilla a villain but if someone wrote the same about Diana who herself became a third person in relationships his outrage would be instant.

MrsMaxDeWinter · 12/01/2023 12:53

Very funny Digested Read from the inimitable John Crace here.

www.theguardian.com/books/2023/jan/12/i-was-alone-abandoned-with-only-a-hundred-million-in-the-bank-spare-digested-by-john-crace

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 12/01/2023 13:00

That is funny!