Bookclub for Spare

[BornBlonde]

I know there are loads of threads, but thought it may be useful to set up a bookclub thread ahead of the release date fir those interested. I've ordered the audiobook as struggling to find time to read at the moment but love I can listen to an Audiobook while cooking etc

I think in hindsight Heads Together was never going to work with all that resentment and jealousy.

In hindsight Meghan's involvement as a working Royal was not going to work either - I think she thought there would be loads of money and there isn't really, she thought there would be loads of freebies and they aren't supposed to keep them, she thought they would be living in luxury and got Harry's beanbag, she thought she would be besties with Kate but Kate was wary, she thought she would be the darling of the press but they turned against her, she thought she would be the star of the show and that could never be allowed.

@hoooops well put. What a mess.

Freebies effectively eventually got their assistant fired, the ‘rules’ were there for a reason & M distributed spoils to her team. Boundaries got blurred.

Harry seemed almost to be searching out press negativity, it’s hard to get worked up over avocados. Not to say right or just that M was vilified.

She wanted a retraction over dressgate and public apology. Why was something, surely comparatively minor, so jarring for Harry it would stay with him for the rest of his life? That being her ‘tone’ & distress in her voice. He doesn’t want M to suffer for a single moment, it all feels very Gatsby & Daisy.

@Jordosky the Queen effectively suggest M wrote a letter to her father when she explained communication in person was apparently impossible. This means she can say it wasn’t her idea. She’s a fascinating character.

There has to have been no plan for Thomas to ever attend the wedding, surely? Doria got a hand delivered scroll & Thomas’s invitation ‘must have got lost in the post’?

Could she have been ashamed of him? Too fearful he’d go off piste? Harry & Co can be waspish, snobbish & sneering.

How do you think the Queen would have received ‘Spare’? Would she have anticipated its contents & tone I wonder? What was within the 400 pages edited out?

Yes and her reasons for not going to see her dad in person, were tenuous at best. And I thought that too, if she’d really planned for him to be there he would have been, and much earlier. Getting measured and prepped etc. Also significant Harry had never even met him. Maybe there was an element of embarrassment. Maybe she was withholding to teach him a lesson, as apparently he’d commented negatively regarding the lighting on suits previously. And Meghan has shown she has a long memory for any perceived slights and criticisms. Initially was sympathetic towards, but they’re too self absorbed. Also they are still so hurt over avocado-gate. Yet Harry will know the press called camilla a Rottweiler, cruella
de ville, wicked step mother, talked about her sex life, leaked her private phone conversations involving tampon and knicker talk. She’s had years of her life defined by a poorly judged affair. Surprised she hasn’t cracked or decided to do a tell-all to correct the narrative. She’ll obviously have her version too and justifications. Yet he’s happy to dredge it all up again, knowingly kicking the hornets nest and unleashing a fresh tidal wave of unpleasant headlines and nasty comments online. More sympathetic now towards recently bereaved Charles, William growing up with bereavement and the responsibility of having to always keep up appearances, and the much maligned Thomas markle. Who has been ridiculed and mocked, across the media, and ghosted by his own daughter so publicly. Must sting, and also to hear how she’s edited him out of her past. With her claims of being self sufficient and paying her own way through college. What a kick in the teeth. He seems unfiltered, probably didn’t want to risk him contradicting any other aspects of her perfectly curated past.

Would TM have given a father of the bride speech? Would that have been uncomfortable for MM?

@Jordosky 100 %.

Thomas M doesn’t feel to be a ‘bad man’. He has clearly made personal sacrifices re: Meghan’s education, taking her around in his car, watching videos, taking her to extra curricular classes & she was much loved, his ‘Bean’.

He had a highly skilled & respected job & kept a stable home despite long hours & some difficulties.

He doesn’t seem to be as savvy or sophisticated as her, hasn’t travelled as much, etc. His brother helped get her the embassy job, what an opportunity. He explained he understood why he himself (the uncle) wasn’t invited, rather sadly explaining he lived in a trailer park & she was upwardly mobile now and had left them behind. He was defeated & resigned & now deceased.

Yes to no filter, a good way to put it & yes, he’s made some poor & rather foolish choices & been manipulated. He must be terribly sad.

Harry ringing him, especially as his health so fragile, in an angry tirade was all very odd.

Without her father’s help & sacrifice she prob would never have met or married Harry.

@Tigresses apparently he wanted to make a speech, yes.

Totally agree with you too. Her dad prioritised her and ensured she had the best start. Of course he wasn’t perfect, no one is. If anything, it sounds like his other children got a raw deal. They weren’t given the same head start. She’s been able to move upwards socially because of his sacrifices. And family connections. And it looks like he even prioritised her and her future over his, he’s hardly living the life of Riley now himself is he. It’s almost as though she can’t see he spent everything on her and got himself into debt so she wouldn’t go without. Just as she’s reaping the benefits of that, he’s living with the consequences of not putting a nest egg aside for his own retirement instead.

That is so sad to hear that her uncle passed away and on those terms with her. Same in regard to Harry’s grandmother and grandfather. It’s shocking they didn’t prioritise their ailing health and limited time ahead. That is something that would haunt me. Even now, he doesn’t seem to realise how he’s missed out on those last years with both grandparents, their fathers are elderly too, and his nephews and niece are growing up and moving on too. His children have missed out on forging real bonds with them too. If losing loved ones and missing out on vital years isn’t a wake up call for these two, I don’t know what is.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=qS-T5g91osw

Above, I give you the brilliant & much underrated, Tracey Ullman.

Sadly, very reminiscent of Thomas Markle. Ambitious, well meaning parents sacrifice everything to give their daughter every advantage. Look what happens… The same thing, it may well be more common than I realised…:( It’s funny & it’s tragic.

None of that makes him much more than your standard parent.

Most parents don't sell their kid down the river to someone like Piers Morgan.

@kirinm you may be right, but I’d argue he went the extra mile & really doted on her. Hearing her narrative about foraging in a salad bar for food & him not assisting her re: college fees when he did must have rankled.

He was angry & felt deceived & betrayed by Meghan. Meghan should have visited him with Harry, much earlier, & fully acclimatised him to wedding plans. The letter Meghan wrote, felt like a set up & he probably knew that but didn’t/couldn’t express things well. Meghan said his wedding initiation ‘got lost in the post’ whereas Doria’s arrived via a palace official in person. He knew this was almost certainly a lie. Meghan wasn’t being up front. Then you had the whole debacle with his phone & Harry apparently shouting at him.

He’s not as worldly, sophisticated, smart, articulate or as erudite as Meghan. Nothing like. Word’s apart. He seems to have no filter & his raw anger & disappointment can be capitalised/harnessed & he’s therefore easy prey & can be manipulated by the likes of Piers Morgan. He’s no match for him. He’s also sick & broke. He also fell right into a trap re: photos in the suit & tried to cover it up with Meghan out of embarrassment rather than being straightforward.

He’s certainly no angel, but listen to how he thought he’d have a chat & give helpful advice to the Queen. In the nicest possible way he’s a very simple soul who was no doubt an expert in his field but he’s politely unsophisticated & some might say more unkindly, clueless. So in his defence I am not sure he’s acted completely out of deliberate malice.

Meghan said his wedding initiation ‘got lost in the post’ whereas Doria’s arrived via a palace official in person.

Is this really what Megham said? That it got lost in the post? Are you sure she didn't say her dog ate it? Lol.
But a hand delivered invite in LA for her mother? I dunno. Which palace official got that fantastic assignment?

Meghan made a spectacular mistake by not introducing Thomas to Harry earlier. And not flying him in to London earlier.

Was she embarrassed of him? Ashamed of him? I don't think it was that. Even he has admitted that his ticket was bought, they forgave the whole staging pictures thing, and he was all set to walk her down the aisle.

What turned things as I see it was his eagerness to talk to her self-declared enemies. I suspect that if he had been talking to American media only, or anyone but Piers Morgan and Dan Wootton, things might have been salvaged, but giving ammunition to Piers and Dan would have been too much for H and M.

His first interview with Piers, linked below, was fairly harmless, if unwise. He confirms that his ticket was bought, the staging pics thing was put behind them, and all was set for him to travel. He also confirms that they asked to see him but he said focus on the wedding. And he has a nice observation about Charles walking M down: that it would have been nice for C because he never had a daughter.

But as the war between H and M and the media ramped up, it got really nasty as he was used as a weapon against her. Add Samantha's poison and it's a shit show. I don't agree with his actions, but feel desperately sorry for him. It would be really good for Meghan to reach out because their breach is not as deep or serious as Harry's with his family.

@MarshaMelrose

Tom Bowers, ‘Revenge’:

’I haven’t received an invitation to the wedding’ he told Meghan from his bungalow.

’It must have got lost in the post’.

Knowing that a British Consulate official had visited Doria with an official scroll and she had also received a formal invitation to the wedding, Thomas concluded, ‘She’s BSing me. This is Doria’s work’.

‘Just lay low’ Meghan urged Thomas during the telephone call.

Doria was in regular contact with the palace about the arrangements & Meghan had flown to LA to show her the sketches for her wedding dress & to arrange for Oscar de la Renta to make her dress.

Some in palace were puzzled by Meghan’s refusal to fly discreetly with Harry to meet her father.

That interview says otherwise.

Oh @Peverellshire. In that case, I can understand how upset Thomas Markle was. I'd be paissed. I still don't think I'd sell my daughter out, though. But then she sold her in-laws out so maybe it's just a Markle trait and I shouldn't feel sorry for either. 🤷‍♀️

@MarshaMelrose in the interview I posted above Thomas says everything was on track for the wedding ticket bought, etc. Even after the pap photos debacle, he was scheduled to travel, and they said it was all forgiven, Harry had lined up someone to take care of him etc. He says it all in the above interview. So the Tom Bower account is a revision of what he said at the time.

@MrsMaxDeWinter I will look at the clip & the timing. Thanks, so interesting.

As Meghan had no intention of inviting former diplomat Uncle Markle, disabled from a trailer park, I do wonder about an embarrassment factor, sadly…

The uncle said ‘I am upset & surprised, Meghan has climbed socially and left us behind.’ [true]

This Uncle had secured her an Embassy job.

It’s said she’s ‘ashamed of white working class men’.

If seriously intending to invite my Dad, surely his brother, who I owed as had generously helped me re: Embassy internship, would be a sobering support? Why did Meghan leave the Uncle of the guest list. Or the niece for that matter?

Thomas was planning to deliver a speech on the big day. (He seemingly has no filter & has a tendency to go off piste, I can’t see Meghan nodding along overlooking potentially embarrassing jokes? Or worse). He’s high risk. Bowers suggests Meghan was worried Harry might even break off their marriage if he met Thomas in advance. (That’s strong).

This feels rather like a saving face, orchestrated, clever planned ‘rejection in advance’ to me, so far. Clever if so, if cruel. No fittings for a suit just measurements by a Beverley Hills tailor & made in London, & a try on a day before wedding (!!) in London. So, so, stressful & risky. M isn’t the type to chance the aesthetics if a crisis, with Moss Bros alternative. He’s not in best of health, millions watching, poor chap would understandably be a bundle of nerves, he’s not a seasoned traveller. Wouldn’t M want him spruced up too? Hair cut/wet shave? He need to be well rested.

Compare & contrast to the ‘plan’ for Doria who was working for months/weeks with Oscar De La Renta. The palace too smelled a rat re: Thomas. Harry had never even met him. She’s a planner, not adding up…

Then add in Thomas’s phone allegedly getting into nefarious hands. Lots of receipts re: kindly & concerned messages Harry & Meghan sent. A plane ticket bought in advance is smart, surely they MUST be sincere, the expense….

To be fair, all three of them constantly revise what they've said before so who knows which version of anything is true. 🤷‍♀️

And by the way, I think he should have got a gold plated wedding invite if his ex did, but I don't think either of them needed an invitation. It was clear they both knew they were invited. Moaning about not getting one is as ridiculous as getting one hand delivered by the British Consulate. Meghan sure adjusted to the advantages of life of royalty quickly.

I don't know that I believe in a conspiracy theory that she was never going to invite him. I get she was embarrassed after his shenanigans, she and her family did become a bit of a laughing stock before the wedding, but it seems like a duff strategy to invite him and hope he wouldn't come. Surely that's even more embarrassing. And Harry's book did make her sound generally distressed by everything that was happening.

However, her whole not inviting family, even her niece, is all just so odd. And that Harry never met her dad either before the engagement or wedding. That's very weird. Surely she'd have been wanting to show them off to each other? I don't know. It sounds a far more dysfunctional family than the Windsors, who actually always look very happy around each other and never bad mouth each other. Except Harry - who is now living with the Markles.
Hmm, is that indicative of anything, I wonder?

How do you know all these things Meghan thought?

I think if I am truly honest, if M, I wouldn’t want Thomas there. He’s a bit of a loose cannon & a bit emotional/volatile if interviews are anything to go by. I do feel, as much as any of us really know, he was a good father, who sacrificed a lot for Meghan.

So what to do? Pretend? Make the right noises? Buy a ticket & then invent an excuse? Tell the truth?

I’d get him there WEEKS before & have a plan. He’d be up & down the aisle! :)

What might he say to the Queen? Is he a drinker, we don’t know. There are cultural differences, he told Harry never to hit M.

And I’d want to script his speech & make him stick to it! Could you trust him?

’Well there was Trev before and…’ ‘Dad NO!’

[Had M thought of his shoes? The day before re: fitting! Normal folk wouldn’t even do that!]

I don't know if Meghan was embarrassed by Thomas. She mentioned him in glowing terms on The Tig, complete with photo, didn't she? Given that was a glossy 'lifestyle brand', she didn't seem concerned then that his face didn't fit.
I actually think he's got some similarities with Harry, neither seem to have a filter and both come out with some embarrassing, unaware things at times. So maybe that doesn't bother her.
I didn't know about the uncle, that's very sad. How did he end up in a trailer park from working as a diplomat? Not that there's anything wrong with it, and I know life in the US particularly can be very precarious. But I do wonder if there was more to that story.

I also don't think the apparent lack of planning is that suspicious given we know there were issues with all the dresses as well. It's just as likely she thought he wouldn't want to come earlier and have to hobnob with the RF for several weeks - he's a bit of a loner, isn't he?

Yes! She seemed to be a very bad planner, didn't she? Which I'm surprised about because we heard that she was often on top of things, writing emails to her staff to action everything. Maybe she wrote a lot but dudnt actually achieve much. I had a boss like that once. Really lovely woman and a great friend, but a bloody awful manager.

As @Peverellshire said, I’d get him there WEEKS before & have a plan. He’d be up & down the aisle! :)

Me too. Dad, wear this suit. Walk me down the aisle. DON'T speak to anyone unless I'm there. And no, don't give the queen the benefit of your wisdom. (Although, honestly, I bet the person most equipped to deal with him and who would have been least bothered about him would have been the Queen! Lol.)