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The royal family

If Diana had lived and re-married

236 replies

acq80 · 14/06/2021 14:53

As it is coming up to what would have been Diana's 60th birthday, I sometimes wonder if she lived what her life would have turned out like. Obviously its only speculation and we will never know.

If Diana re-married and possibly had more children what effect do you think this would have had on her public image?

Would she still have been a member of the royal family if she re-married and would she still be seen as royal?

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 15/06/2021 17:11

Not just so easy to draw comparisons to earlier times.

Things were different then. Only a small part of being an absolute monarch was making up the rules for yourself as you went along.

Henry wanted to divorce Katherine of Aragon and made himself head of the church in England when the Pope wouldn't play ball.

In turn, Anne Boleyn is understood to have agreed that her marriage to Henry VIII was never valid, in exchange for being beheaded by a skilled swordsman rather than botch by an axe.

Don't suppose many people pointed out at the time that never.being.married made a bit of a mockery of being beheaded for adultery in the first place.

'S complicated.

Lockdownbear · 15/06/2021 17:11

I don't think she'd still have been seen as a Royal, despite living with Andrew, Fergie isn't seen as a Royal.

Serenster · 15/06/2021 17:25

@SunshineCake she wouldn’t still have a royal title. But, as the daughter of an Earl, she is entitled to call herself Lady Diana Surname. She was Lady Diana Spencer, obviously, before marriage. So, if she had married a John Smith after her divorce she would have given up her title “Diana, Princess of Wales” and become “Lady Diana Smith”.

GloriousMystery · 15/06/2021 17:25

@altoran

I think that is very wrong about Diana. She had an eating disorder. She was very unhappy when married to Charles who was cheating on her. She was flirtatious and courted the press. To characherise all that as her being fragile, psychologically messy and manipulative is a slur and is the type of thing the Royal Family say. She had relationships after Charles e.g. with Hasnet that were fine.
She had an eating disorder, self-harmed, made suicide attempts, ran through friends at a rate of knots, was clearly very vulnerable and a prey to any astrologer/'psychic'/paddler of New Age nonsense.

And insofar as we know anything about her relationships other than her marriage, they were all pretty un-ideal -- her (married) bodyguard whom she believed was bumped off because of the relationship, her (married) riding instructor, who kissed and told endlessly afterwards, (married) Oliver Hoare, whom she phoned hundreds of times after he ended things when his wife found out, a playboy whose father has built a macabre subsidiary business out of the claim that his son and Diana were killed by the 'establishment' because she was pregnant by him etc etc.

The Hasnat Khan one doesn't sound any more normal to me than the others, apart from the fact they were both free to be in a relationship showing up repeatedly at night to the hospital when he was on duty and causing massive security concerns while pretending to the press she was visiting dying patients, calling him repeatedly under false names when he was in the middle of surgeries (assuming any of this is true), going to Pakistan several times to try to persuade his family to accept a marriage with a classically work-obsessed surgeon who simply doesn't ever seem to have been all that into her isn't normal.

I mean, the poor woman, obviously -- her life deformed her psychologically.

TurquoiseLemur · 15/06/2021 18:01

@ApplyWithin

To be honest, given how she ran hot and cold with people and complicated her personal relationships were (with family and friends), I think she’d have made a very difficult MIL and both Kate and Meghan would have had to tread a very careful line to keep her onside.
I feel this too.

She was a lovely person in some ways and a b*** nightmare in others. For example, I totally understand why she looked for love outside her marriage.. . but getting into relationships with a succession of married men? Not so good. (Am not saying the married men had no say in the matter, of course they did.)

She was a queen bee, loved the limelight, and would have found it very difficult when other people were getting any attention.

BabyFartsDoStink · 15/06/2021 18:13

@StarryStarrySocks

Agree she would have been the MIL from hell. But on the plus side, her cursed engagement ring might have stayed in a vault somewhere and not ended up on poor Kate's finger!
So would Carrie Johnson have worn a replica of it for her wedding the other week or not? 🤔
Pyewackect · 15/06/2021 18:21

If it's and ands were pots and pans - then Prince Charles should have married Camila Shand in the first place - Jesus , they were close enough to each other.

Equally, Diana Spencer should have married some dim, toffy-nosed ex-Etonian from within her own social set and lived in comfortable obscurity without over extending herself too much.

But it didn't work out that way. It ended in a perfectly avoidable tragedy. I'm just sorry she was unable to use the common sense she was born with.

Rainbunny · 15/06/2021 18:31

Well she wouldn't be anywhere near as revered if she was still alive unfortunately, the living can never compete with the mythologized dead.

I don't think the Dodi thing would have lasted, he didn't come across as being very into her actually, just into the idea of dating her I always thought. Also she would not have been the sort of woman that a playboy like him would feel truly comfortable with, she was far too classy. Dating him always seemed like a cry for help IMO (and indeed it ended in a tragic way that would never have happened with any of her other love interests).

I think it's likely she would have ended up spending time in the US and marrying some billionaire there. I'd like to think she would have found a man who would take care of her and be gentle with her (let's face it any husband of Diana would have had to have been very patient given her psychological issues).

The other thing that occurs to me is that she might have turned out to be a mean MIL! I think she would have felt competitive with any younger, pretty women her sons would introduce her to, especially the woman who would eventually become queen consort as William's wife. Diana struck me as someone who would find aging and losing her beauty as really hard to deal with.

RickiTarr · 15/06/2021 18:39

@DeepThinkingGirl

Kanitawa

I think that’s a bit of an overstatement. But I agree I think her soon to be king son being raised with half Arab or half Asian siblings would’ve been a bit dramatic for the royal family. But I do think it might’ve been a breath of fresh air to tackle racial prejudice and improve international relations and I’m sure William would’ve been a lot more interesting with his influence.

But meh

William was 15 when Diana died and Harry was his only sibling at that point, so if he ended up with mixed race half-siblings, he wouldn’t have been “raised with” them.

Anybody who objected to that scenario were just racists straightforwardly against the idea that mixed-race half-siblings could possibly exist, regardless of when or where.

I don’t think she was purposefully killed to prevent it, though.

BreakingtheIce · 15/06/2021 19:04

@Rainbunny

Well she wouldn't be anywhere near as revered if she was still alive unfortunately, the living can never compete with the mythologized dead.

I don't think the Dodi thing would have lasted, he didn't come across as being very into her actually, just into the idea of dating her I always thought. Also she would not have been the sort of woman that a playboy like him would feel truly comfortable with, she was far too classy. Dating him always seemed like a cry for help IMO (and indeed it ended in a tragic way that would never have happened with any of her other love interests).

I think it's likely she would have ended up spending time in the US and marrying some billionaire there. I'd like to think she would have found a man who would take care of her and be gentle with her (let's face it any husband of Diana would have had to have been very patient given her psychological issues).

The other thing that occurs to me is that she might have turned out to be a mean MIL! I think she would have felt competitive with any younger, pretty women her sons would introduce her to, especially the woman who would eventually become queen consort as William's wife. Diana struck me as someone who would find aging and losing her beauty as really hard to deal with.

I agree. I think she would have become even more manipulative and a bit bitter.
BreakingtheIce · 15/06/2021 19:07

@GloriousMystery
The riding instructor was t married. James Hewitt and James Gilbey were both single.

CathyorClaire · 15/06/2021 20:48

Contrary to accepted narrative she was pretty unpopular with the public immediately before her death. People were sick of long lens shots of her cavorting round Europe on a playboy's yacht.

Dodi was a summer fling. She was dropping teasers about what she was going to do next. I think it would have involved the US and ultimately relative obscurity with some mega-rich billionaire while being wheeled on by resentful royals for very limited events like her sons' weddings. She'd have been pulling said sons' strings behind the scenes though and she'd have kicked Harry's sellout ass from here to kingdom come.

Roussette · 15/06/2021 20:55

I think we're rewriting history somewhat. She wasn't unpopular just before her death, I dont think.
And I don't agree on Harry. She suffered when in the RF and I think she would have had sympathy for him.

PoliceDogWoof · 15/06/2021 21:01

Yeh she wasnt unpopular with me. I used to be annoy3d when there was nothing in the paper about Diana 😅
She was always up to something

BreakingtheIce · 15/06/2021 21:10

@CathyorClaire

Contrary to accepted narrative she was pretty unpopular with the public immediately before her death. People were sick of long lens shots of her cavorting round Europe on a playboy's yacht.

Dodi was a summer fling. She was dropping teasers about what she was going to do next. I think it would have involved the US and ultimately relative obscurity with some mega-rich billionaire while being wheeled on by resentful royals for very limited events like her sons' weddings. She'd have been pulling said sons' strings behind the scenes though and she'd have kicked Harry's sellout ass from here to kingdom come.

I agree
CathyorClaire · 15/06/2021 21:12

Ah, see I think she was just as obsessed with William becoming king as anyone. His position was never far from her mind. She wouldn't have tolerated the spare undermining her legacy - the heir.

And the fling with Dodi definitely wasn't winning her any public points. Charles was a fair way off the radar at the time but bringing her back from Paris was the start of his public rehab.

MrsNewms85 · 15/06/2021 21:17

Why is anyone speculating on this? There's some awful judgemental responses. She was someone's mam and someone's sister for crying out loud. Time to be kind and leave this alone.

CathyorClaire · 15/06/2021 21:34

someone's sister

Well her hypocritical brother certainly wasn't interested in helping her out in the aftermath of her divorce despite his funeral bleatings and beratings. One of the sisters got on board with the charitable fund set up in her name which eventually got involved with a controversial and costly run-in with (above all things ) Franklin Mint.

All quiet on the other one AFAIK.

MrsNewms85 · 15/06/2021 21:46

@CathyorClaire

someone's sister

Well her hypocritical brother certainly wasn't interested in helping her out in the aftermath of her divorce despite his funeral bleatings and beratings. One of the sisters got on board with the charitable fund set up in her name which eventually got involved with a controversial and costly run-in with (above all things ) Franklin Mint.

All quiet on the other one AFAIK.

So that makes it ok to be judgemental and unkind about someone who died young. Nice....
SemperIdem · 15/06/2021 23:04

@MrsNewms85 how old are you to be bleating “she was someone’s mum, be kind?”. She had value aside from being a mother.

It is not disrespectful to acknowledge that she was a very damaged woman whose behaviour impacted others negatively and would have continued to do so if she had not died tragically young.

MrsNewms85 · 16/06/2021 07:08

[quote SemperIdem]@MrsNewms85 how old are you to be bleating “she was someone’s mum, be kind?”. She had value aside from being a mother.

It is not disrespectful to acknowledge that she was a very damaged woman whose behaviour impacted others negatively and would have continued to do so if she had not died tragically young.[/quote]
My age has nothing to do with suggesting people show some kindness and not spend their time speculating on something so morbid! I'm sure everyone commenting negatively on this feed is sooooo bloody perfect.

Samcro · 16/06/2021 07:26

@Roussette

I think we're rewriting history somewhat. She wasn't unpopular just before her death, I dont think. And I don't agree on Harry. She suffered when in the RF and I think she would have had sympathy for him.
I agree, I think calling her unstable and stuff like that just seems yo fit the narrative that people want. \she wasn't perfect, but she was very popular. I wonder how many people saying she wasn't were actually old enough then to know.
Roussette · 16/06/2021 07:55

As always on these threads... we just don't know.

Writing a story of how, if she'd lived, how awful she would be, is crass.

MrsNewms85 · 16/06/2021 08:12

@Roussette

As always on these threads... we just don't know.

Writing a story of how, if she'd lived, how awful she would be, is crass.

Couldn't agree more.
GloriousMystery · 16/06/2021 09:32

[quote SemperIdem]@MrsNewms85 how old are you to be bleating “she was someone’s mum, be kind?”. She had value aside from being a mother.

It is not disrespectful to acknowledge that she was a very damaged woman whose behaviour impacted others negatively and would have continued to do so if she had not died tragically young.[/quote]
Indeed. I have no strong feelings about her, whether negative or positive, other than a baffled pity that someone so privileged should have been launched on the world at the end of an expensive education with so few skills, which must have contributed to her later vulnerability.

But I think people interestingly, many of the same people who on here decry Prince William's alleged affair, or the publicity-courting shenanigans of the Sussexes are forgetting how salacious much of the media coverage of her was when she was alive, sometimes with her own explicit collusion.

To put it bluntly, part of her popularity was because her life, especially her later life, was often a pretty undignified soap opera, with Squidgygate, Camilla as third party in the marriage, naked boyfriends discovered behind plants in KP during fire alarms, rumours that one of her sons was fathered by a lover etc.

Press coverage was by no means uniformly positive. Royalist commentators saw her lack of a sense of 'duty' as damaging to the royal family, and her charity work as self-indulgent. Euan Ferguson in The Guardian wrote just before her death that if her IQ were five points lower, she'd need to be watered daily.

Frank Kermode's review of Sally Bedell Smith's biography summarises it as follows:

Diana, we gather, was unpredictable, egocentric, aggressive, insecure, manipulative, paranoid, possessive, easily bored, uneducated and a habitual liar. She was the victim of terrible mood swings. She was an eavesdropper. She steamed open other people's letters. Altogether her life is ''a sad tale of adultery, mental illness, betrayal, mistrust and revenge.''

Part of the reason people were sad when she died is that a soap opera got cancelled before they got to find out what happened.