What were Harry and Meghan hoping to achieve?

[HumousWhereTheHeartIs]

This is an honest question not a chance to bash anyone. I'm curious about why Harry and Meghan would do this and what the consequences could be. They must have realised the massive fall-out this would cause. This could be the end of Harry's relationship with his family. But for what? Sympathy? Increased profiles? Honesty?

Over time, the second son of the heir to the throne becomes less prominent, but still important. It is however a supporting rather than a major role. Think about the profile of Anne in particular (Andrew has profile for the wrong reasons). Harry and Megan either do not get this, or get it and do not like it.

They loathe it so believe if they can't have it, no one can or should and seek to try to tear down the entire institution, and believe they can.

I suppose if they name the person who made the racist comment they could be done for slander. No one knows what was said apart from Harry and the person in question.

Imagine if someone reported that you (any MNetter) said something racist/disablist/other ist and they had twisted things or exaggerated or even made it up? I know I would be livid but what can you do? Mud sticks.

Years and years ago I liked this fellow who was my friend’s brother’s friend. But after an initial date he didn’t call. A while later my “friend” said that he’d really liked me but was not interested after she told him I was a member of a (horrible) political party. “Joke!” she said. I was dumbfounded and to this day sometimes worry about what this guy must have thought of me - and it was an utter lie, but people think there’s no smoke without fire. (Actually this frenemy tried to reconnect with me a few years ago.... yeah, right.)

@Youngatheart00

I also don’t think you can carry out a church wedding anywhere but a registered place of worship. No back gardens etc. Perhaps they had a blessing but I doubt they were legally married

Of course they weren't. The entire thing probably made up. How people believe anything they say is beyond me.

@Sprining

“Ordinarily they should have sorted out their issues privately. If William (my money's on William) had commented on the skin tone of any future kids they would have, he should just have pointed out there and then that he wasn't standing for that kind of comment”

So no biggie that the future king of UK is racist then. Just a private matter, eh?

In a family where a couple are having a baby is there not discussion about what traits or characteristics will be inherited, will the baby inherit ginger hair, Charles' flappy ears etc etc? In every couple of mixed race I've known the level of inherited colour has usually come up, it doesn't make it racist unless one applies a very convenient definition, along the Fawlty Towers line of 'Don't mention the war!'

What we are really seeing is a woman moving country, moving culture, making a drastic lifestyle change overnight. The reality of having to live in a new family in a culture very different to her then hit home.
Surprise, surprise she doesn't like it. Hates it. And wants to go home.
Has a baby. Feels very protective then because the baby shares the DNA of the hated new in laws.
New mother hates the inlaws - hates them even more after the baby. Resists attempts by inlaws to dictate their overbearing family traditions. New mother hates her sister in law most of all because she doesn't want to get angry with spineless DH.
We've seen this on MN heaps of times in other contexts.

What I don’t understand ( and apologies if this has already been explained ) but why are M and H so upset/ angry about Archie not being a Prince ? As I and others have already said , he is currently entitled to be styled Earl of Dumbarton however H and M declined that .
Is there any evidence at all that it has been decided that Archie will be not become a Prince when Charles becomes King ? It is well known that Charles wants to slim down the RF but it was always assumed he meant him, Camilla , W and K and H and M .
H and M decided it wasn’t for them so why on earth would they want to lumber their DC with HRH and all the expectations that come with being that !
As with previous “ spares “ eg Margaret and Andrew, as the Cambridge DC grow and have their own families , H will move so far down the list as to be almost irrelevant like the Dukes of Kent and Gloucester.
I might be missing something but I simply don’t understand.

@TonyGates

The more I think about it the more angry I am at Harry. He sat there and whinged about us not paying for his security, in his multi million pound house, in their designer clothes and didn't acknowledge the difficulty and suffering of his people over the last year. The financial hardship for many, the heartbreaking losses of family members and friends, the people who've worked so hard to keep the country going.

He has no sense of duty or loyalty to this country, and no compassion. It's all poor me, me, me. The Royal Family are well shot of him.

What is it they say on Mumsnet - something like 'when someone shows you who they really are, believe them'. Well they showed us who they really are.

That pretty much sums up how I feel about Harry too.

I haven't read through this thread and I could be wrong here but I feel that the racist accusation is dynamite.

None of us were party to the conversation but I would just hope that Harry was absolutely certain about the comment before he told Meghan. If he was then fair enough to say it to her but if there was any doubt then he should have never said it to he as it has probably had a huge effect on her.

@sadie9

What we are really seeing is a woman moving country, moving culture, making a drastic lifestyle change overnight. The reality of having to live in a new family in a culture very different to her then hit home. Surprise, surprise she doesn't like it. Hates it. And wants to go home. Has a baby. Feels very protective then because the baby shares the DNA of the hated new in laws. New mother hates the inlaws - hates them even more after the baby. Resists attempts by inlaws to dictate their overbearing family traditions. New mother hates her sister in law most of all because she doesn't want to get angry with spineless DH. We've seen this on MN heaps of times in other contexts.

Yeah, right. She was in her late 30s and wanted to be top dog and have kids quick. She didn't like it when that didn't turn out. She hates her SIL because the SIL pipped her to the top spot. Also seen on MN heaps of times, marrying a man to get a baby fast.

People aren't giving her credit for being FAR more intelligent than Harry. She is.

Bil told dsis that his dm said she was a “flibbertigibbet” after the first meeting. That was it.......

Just don’t repeat things people say... unless you can monetise them

In some ways I think they were on to a lose lose situation. They wanted to dispel the untruths printed about them and bring to attention the way the press treated her in an unjust and racist way, and the frustration of having no recourse to that whilst being within the royal family. (Which is not unreasonable)
Now they have addressed those issues, but the nature of the interview (Oprah, in very grand surroundings, but keeping it authentic with chicken coop inserts) and the wanting to be part time royals in America, with funding and security, I think will (and has) create loads more publicity which they must have realised would have a huge amount of attention...and not all of it positive. She, by all accounts, had a really unhappy and mentally unhealthy time during her last pregnancy, and while she says she feels peace living where they are now, I would question why they would want to jeopardise the happiness of this one by doing a tell-all interview
Stay silent - and risk people believing the lies printed
Spill the beans - and create more publicity, more attention, and more material for critics.

Good article from guardian posted elsewhere on mn

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/09/harry-and-meghan-interview-this-is-not-just-a-crisis-for-the-royal-family-but-for-britain-itself

I think Meghan feels incredibly isolated because of the way her own family hung her up to dry.

And she felt her vulnerability was exploited by the royal family who she felt she gave up a lot for but they kicked her while she was down.

If a family is too dysfunctional to support you in your lowest most vulnerable moments then they’re redundant.

So she resented making effort towards them which I think is natural. She’s too vulnerable to stand up for herself so she desperately wanted to escape with her child to safety away from the press.

I think this all looks natural to me. We also see that on mumsnet!

To abolish racism within the Monarchy and tabloids.

“The Palace should have been unequivocal that racism – however unintended or unconscious – must be called out. And that the hurt racist behaviour causes can be judged only by those who feel it, not by those who don’t.”

This quick sums it up. The palace will not learn. They all need to go

Money and revenge.

The RF are very good at playing the long game. Following the statement I guess they'll all maintain a dignified silence, then will emerge to either resume their duties - and there will be much opportunity for thanks and acknowledgement in the wake of lockdown - or to mourn a major death. And the royal circus will rumble on, away from the scene of this particular drama.

I hope that the interview is analysed by a handful of experts to highlight the untruths and the areas of potential misunderstanding (the titles, the marriage date etc, not necessarily the personal grievances like who made who cry, and the issues of how H&M felt which is indeed their truth and absolutely valid as such) because, as a pp pointed out, in the digital age interviews like this act as historical documents. It would be a mistake to let a false account of significant events in the RF stand uncorrected, and undermine its credibility at a time in its long history when its future is most uncertain.

(And I'm not saying it should be shored up artificially if the public genuinely feel the country would be better off as a republic, just that if the RF is going to be abolished that decision should be made by public referendum and after honest and open consultation, not because of knee jerk reactions to claims that don't stand up to scrutiny.)

@Oldbutstillgotit

What I don’t understand ( and apologies if this has already been explained ) but why are M and H so upset/ angry about Archie not being a Prince ? As I and others have already said , he is currently entitled to be styled Earl of Dumbarton however H and M declined that . Is there any evidence at all that it has been decided that Archie will be not become a Prince when Charles becomes King ? It is well known that Charles wants to slim down the RF but it was always assumed he meant him, Camilla , W and K and H and M . H and M decided it wasn’t for them so why on earth would they want to lumber their DC with HRH and all the expectations that come with being that ! As with previous “ spares “ eg Margaret and Andrew, as the Cambridge DC grow and have their own families , H will move so far down the list as to be almost irrelevant like the Dukes of Kent and Gloucester. I might be missing something but I simply don’t understand.

You do understand, that is how it works.

Kate & Williams 2 youngest would not have been Princess and Prince but the Queen altered the rule when Charlotte was born to put her in line for succession. Previously, males took precedence over females in the royal succession.

@Supersimkin2

Money and revenge.

Yep! Wwaa! If I can't have it, no one can!

I think it’s quite naive that so many posters think he simply mentioned racism without understanding the context. Imagine this posted in AIBU or Relationships. It just doesn’t make sense and I think this raises serious questions about how prevalent racism is in the royal family and their circles.
We already know how padeophiles are welcomed in their fold, how parliamentary decisions are affected via back door to save their estates and assets.

So I am fully ready to accept that part.
I guess the way these threads have gone on Mumsnet, no wonder Meghan felt so totally isolated and marginalised in the circles where all of this is actually taking place.

I think the royal family should be abolished after the queen. That is the only solution here now.

To all those who are in camp M&H, are you comfortable with a proportion of your salary to fund a princeling in the US? Because any security bill would be covered by the tax payer, that is you and me. Shouldn't our tax money go into the NHS or education in the UK? Genuine question.

I don’t think M&H want the royal family abolished: no Prince title for Archie and no USP for them. They need the monarchy - unless of course they are hoping to re-instate it in the US...

@Flyingdr

To all those who are in camp M&H, are you comfortable with a proportion of your salary to fund a princeling in the US? Because any security bill would be covered by the tax payer, that is you and me. Shouldn't our tax money go into the NHS or education in the UK? Genuine question.

No absolutely not. I am also not in their favour. I simply think that monarchy should be abolished and they would then need no security as they will be nobody then.

@IrmaFayLear

I don’t think M&H want the royal family abolished: no Prince title for Archie and no USP for them. They need the monarchy - unless of course they are hoping to re-instate it in the US...

I am pretty certain that there is more to this drama than meets the eye and what we are seeing is not what actually is happening. Also, it’s a great smoke screen behind which the royal family can hide many other reports that came out in recent day or that are about to come out. Maxwell and the changes to laws via parliamentary influence anyone?

I think that they are so full of themselves that they didn’t give a thought of the possible long term consequences.
I also think there is an underlying bitterness particularly from Meghan she thought that she would be the star of the show and then found out that there is a pecking order.
They didn’t really want to leave the RF entirely but hoped to move to another country and be the centre of attention. I think Harry is so desperate to please Meghan that he has lost sight of everything else.