Harry and Meghan court dramas (not Suits)

[ARoseInHarlem]

Starting this thread while I digest the last few posts on the previous thread. I think the H&M saga could be as unsettling for the RF as the Charles & Diana bad publicity in the 1990s, if not worse.

Unfortunately they are so wrapped up in slights that came from the media not the British people everyone has been maligned now - it’s a hard place to come back from
I think they believe they are the popular cool royals and are in a competition with the stuffy old guard and they will win
In ten years or less they will become irrelevant- however I think they will be happy if the monarchy is gone too ( if we can’t have it neither can wills - job done )
I think there is a lot of sibling rivalry at play stoked up by a partner who is pointing out all the slights and unfairness

The RF is deeply dysfunctional, riven with affairs and divorces and of course pervy Andrew and unrepentant racist Philip. I think any newly wed posting on Mumsnet about the family she's married into would be advised to go low contact. I think it actually reflects pretty badly on the RF that H&M felt driven away and there couldn't be an accommodation met that all sides felt happy with. When families fall out there are always many sides to the story and I don't think anyone is blameless for the schism. I know posters on this thread tend to adore the RF, but I can't imagine warming to any of them.

TheNavigator

The RF is deeply dysfunctional, riven with affairs and divorces and of course pervy Andrew and unrepentant racist Philip. I think any newly wed posting on Mumsnet about the family she's married into would be advised to go low contact. I think it actually reflects pretty badly on the RF that H&M felt driven away and there couldn't be an accommodation met that all sides felt happy with. When families fall out there are always many sides to the story and I don't think anyone is blameless for the schism. I know posters on this thread tend to adore the RF, but I can't imagine warming to any of them.

What would you have suggested ?
Before the wedding HM offered MM the chance to continue with her career . She declined . She also wanted the title .
The proposal they put forward appears to have been half in half out , in other words picking and choosing events so yes to foreign tours but no to opening a factory in chilly Glasgow .
They also wanted to earn money whilst also accepting taxpayers ‘ money , security etc etc .
MM cited Beatrice and Eugenie as being allowed to earn money but they aren’t working Royals !
I sympathise as they were clearly unhappy but I cannot think of a solution that would have been acceptable to H and M, HM and the public .
But maybe you can suggest one ?

I think that it should have been posible to find an accommodation and it reflects pretty badly on the RF that they could not be more flexible, taking into account that a mixed race woman joining the RF faced particular challenges and would need more support - especially from the vile racism of the press and social media. The RF seemed complaisant and too set in their ways.

When families fall out there are always many sides to the story and I don't think anyone is blameless for the schism.

This would apply to Meghan and her dad too.

TheNavigator

I think that it should have been posible to find an accommodation and it reflects pretty badly on the RF that they could not be more flexible, taking into account that a mixed race woman joining the RF faced particular challenges and would need more support - especially from the vile racism of the press and social media. The RF seemed complaisant and too set in their ways

So........what do you suggest ?

A copy was also sent to her US lawyer, on condition that he did not read it.

So she was fully expecting it to resurface, and getting her ducks in a row.

@ButteryPuffin

When families fall out there are always many sides to the story and I don't think anyone is blameless for the schism.

This would apply to Meghan and her dad too.

Absolutely, I am sure no one is blameless. Although Thomas Markle does seem particularly unpleasant and as someone who was lucky enough to have a wonderful dad, I do feel greatly for Meghan on that score.

I think they will be happy if the monarchy is gone too

So would I, but this puts me in mind of when the USSR died and the corrupt oligarchs scrabbled round to seize state assets for themselves

I wonder how the RF would split the jewels and all the rest? "Gerroff, it's mine!!!"

She certainly didn't think he was unpleasant when she wrote glowing tributes to her wonderful father on 'The Tig' on Father's Day - just the month before she met Harry.

But having told H about her struggles in financing her studies (forgot to mention that Dad paid), and then led Harry to believe how wonderful it was to spend Christmas with 'the family she never had', I can see how a schism could have come between Meghan and her Dad/family - but I don't think she was the one treated badly.

I guess it is unimaginable to me that my darling late father would ever bad mouth me to the press, under any provocation. I feel sorry for anyone who has never experienced that unconditional love from a parent - it is a pearl beyond price.

She certainly didn't think he was unpleasant when she wrote glowing tributes to her wonderful father on 'The Tig' on Father's Day - just the month before she met Harry. This is the bit that puzzles me. Plus she didn't introduce Harry to her father. Why was that?

I may well have picked up the wrong vibe but I had the impression that the RF were in agreement that they should look at doing things differently & they have publicly stated they were willing to look to find a middle way that suited H&M more than the current set up but that equally wasn’t H&Ms original proposal (as they felt that wouldn’t work) - they wanted to take it slowly and behind the scenes and for it to be started with a thorough proposal from H&M to Prince Charles as a starting point. H&M tried to circumvent this process and approach the Queen directly. When this was thwarted, they released their original proposal as a done deal via Instagram (I think it was Instagram) which took things straight to “defcon 4”.
It’s tricky when family are “in business together” (and most families do have some dysfunctionality too, I suspect) but I’m sure it will be the same in most other family business that change happens slowly and carefully and if you don’t like the set up, you stay part of the family but leave the family business and have an independent career (that isn’t funded by the family business!) If someone didn’t like the set up but wants to marry a family member out of love then the “never join the family business in the first place” approach is surely the most appropriate! Lots of examples of people who have married members of royal families and remained largely private individuals (usually means no acceptance of bestowed titles though).

Maybe she can't separate fact from fiction and she's hoping Harvey Spector will come to her defence?

I guess it is unimaginable to me that my darling late father would ever bad mouth me to the press, under any provocation. I feel sorry for anyone who has never experienced that unconditional love from a parent - it is a pearl beyond price.

Do you find the reverse unimaginable for you too? That no matter how provoked, you wouldn't (indirectly) bad mouth your own father to the press or potentially drag him through a court case just so you can have your opportunity to defend yourself on other unrelated matters?

perhaps she never envisaged having to actually live the story she concocted?

We can't know how much she even thought about it though, or whether Harry encouraged her to

I've encountered these mindsets before, and they live in what I call a "momentary reality" where whatever the story is today matters desperately, but then is instantly chucked aside for the next chosen narrative. Sadly, those who then make comments like "hang on, I thought you said ..." really aren't welcome and tend to be dismissed as negative or "haterz"

Oh, I'm just DONE with the pair of them now.
I wish they would just go away and keep quiet.

I guess it is unimaginable to me that my darling late father would ever bad mouth me to the press, under any provocation. I feel sorry for anyone who has never experienced that unconditional love from a parent - it is a pearl beyond price.

Agree completely @TheNavigator - I was fortunate like you (though unfortunate that he's also my late dad) and my dad would never have said a bad word about me to a soul, not for anything. However, there's also no way I would have got the point of agreeing to marry someone, and then publicly announcing the engagement, without him having met my dad. The delay until the very last minute in Thomas Markle's planned arrival in the UK for the wedding is bizarre.

It seems to be that all the problems come down to money hence the whining about how little they received compared to the huge amount they think they generated (in their dreams).

Outside of the RF and aristocracy, in the normal world, all children are treated equally. As an american there is no reason for MM to have thought that PH would receive a different income to PW. I am confident that Bill Gates doesn't treat his grown up DCs differently based on their birth order. It isn't something she would even have thought to ask about pre-wedding but imagine finding out later that the generous allowance provided by daddy will stop as soon as HMQ dies and PW gets the whole £20m pa. Then what? Scraping about like PA probably and mixing with anyone prepared to fund your lifestyle. Far better to try and make a blaze and hit the world when you're still just about young enough to make some real money.

Anyone who has read Lady Glenconner's book may remember that when her husband died leaving all his money to an employee, she was angry on behalf of the "heir", her eldest grandon and a court case was issued to recover half of the fortune for him. There was not a thought for her other DCs or DGCs. These people are not normal, dysfunctional doesn't even start to cover it.

In terms of Melissa T (mentioned at the start of this thread), Meghan’s court filings said the PA (MT) didn’t quit. She had a short term contract that wasn’t renewed (hired to help with the wedding and a few months after). She didn’t get taken on permanently and later tweeted negative comments on SM. Melissa is now a night nanny employed by a contributor to the Mail on Sunday, Tatler, etc

Staff leaving:
The Queen’s old assistant (Samantha), who had resigned whilst working for the Queen but agreed to stay on and help Meghan for six months. She agreed to an extension (ended up staying almost a year)
There was another assistant (Heather) who is still working for H's Travalyst
Heather and Samantha were pictured with H&M after they had supposedly left
The police protection officer - went as they had left the force altogether

derxa we may never know the real story of MM's relationship with her dad, but perhaps she felt that the loving Fathers Day message would divert attention from any unpleasantness and push the impression of a healthy, normal family?

It all came crashing down pretty fast, but maybe on the threashold of joining the RF she felt it would help her image?

Well anyway, I would love to be a fly on the year review meeting when H&M are negotiating their ongoing package

Whatever the rights and wrongs, Meghan has certainly made it clear what she thinks of the RF and that will be hard to come back from.