Harry and Meghan (15)

[Froq]

No harm in having it ready for the next event/announcement...

@Nerfballs That's one of the most moving posts I've read on here. I'm glad you have each other. It's a powerful reminder that we can't know what's going on for people. And a good argument for more kindness.

Many people do disagree with the personal attacks on H&M. I agree with @FramboiseRoyale about the content and tone of many posts. Someone said on a different thread (can't remember who, sorry, but it stayed with me) that bullies always think their victim deserves it, and can find a way of justifying it.

There's lots of reasons why I disagree with many of the posts on this thread. We can get back into that if you wish, but in short I don't think these are innocuous chats, happening in a vacuum.

Resorting to 'you need a life' etc if criticised seems unnecessary, people could equally question why people would spend their time saying 'slightly unkind things' about strangers, or trying to see a 'fall from grace'.

Out of interest, @Jillyhilly - would you act differently if you knew M or H were reading?

I know your question wasn't directed towards me Rocking but I checked my posts to see if I could stand by what I've said up till now if I knew they were reading this thread and the answer is yes.

I do think it's a point worth making though and you're right to make people pause and consider what they post.

If I knew that M or H were reading, I would bash their heads together, say "what on EARTH were you THINKING?"

And then I'd try and help them find a constructive way forward. Whether they would want to listen to that from a random internet stranger I very much doubt, but given that they can afford the best advice in whatever sphere you choose, they seem to have chosen this way, for better or for worse.

You can have the best advice in the world, but if you're not prepared to listen, it won't help.

I actually think that goes to the nub of it all. Neither of them listen to advice. It’s a kind of ‘we’ll do it our way and if it isn’t working to our satisfaction, we’ll burn it all down and move on’. There’s a paranoia there too.

@yolofish Would you though!? Face to face, would you really do a metaphorical head bashing? Or would you say 'nice to meet you' and move on? The photo assignment mentioned upthread was making a different point but it did also make me think about how we behave in the real world- I don't think most of us would have the brass neck we have online!

It still seems to come down to knowing best. I suppose it's a human trait, and why AIBU is so popular. The two posts above me presume tM&H have had access to the best advice but can't have taken it, because it doesn't match their advice!

@Myimaginarycathasfleas it definitely wasn't aimed at you, thank you for realising . Your post about Harry's mum struck a chord with me though, and I know it wasn't malicious but it struck me as one Harry would find hard to read. I'm very much an atheist, but I do think my mum, even though she has died, is an active influence in my life, from the things she has taught me and from the shared memories I have with our family and friends. I think Harry will have this as well. But, agreed, she is dead and gone, so to me it seems a bit harsh to speculate on something so personal, that she can't correct, about whether she would have approved of his wife (even though, I know neither H&M or Diana will see it!). I was appalled when it was done in public by Rachel Johnson and her article on the 'Mum Test' in the Mail. I really can see his problem with the press.

I think in all honesty rocking they really NEED someone to knock their heads together. They are self imploding through making a lot of poor decisions .

I didn't know about the 'Mum Test' Rocking, that does sound a bit brutal. I understand what you are saying about your mum's influence. Perhaps it's just how he put it but it seemed like he felt Diana's presence as a living thing, and that feels unhealthy to me.

I feel OK about considering how Diana might have felt about Harry's path, because he has done the same, publicly. I've stayed away from speculating about any MIL/DIL relationship because as you say, it's very personal.

I think they are listening to advice, it’s just that they may not be listening to all advice. They had Sussex Royal domain names set up & the brand copywriter for certain merchandise, they would have taken marketing, PR and legal advice on how and when to do that, or at the very least engaged those services. What I think we can probably agree on is that they’re prioritising what they want rather then what the RF wants (a fact not a criticism), so it makes sense they’re not going to take advice that is RF-focused.

This is only my opinion obviously, but I suspect that whatever they do they’re not going to be completely happy because the ideal balance that they wanted and expected when resigning is not realistic. I would say that to them directly, I don’t think it’s controversial.

It has been reported that Meghan kept her Hollywood agent, lawyer and business manager even after marrying Harry. It could be that their advice is skewed towards an American market. The Sussex Royal website would seem to suggest this is the case as it certainly doesn't look like something anyone versed in royal protocol would come up with.

peridito, you said: "A common criticism in these threads for example is that Meghan has said that she hates England and this seems to be accep[ted as a fact .Another is that H&M wanted to cherry pick which events they would attend as representatives of the Queen ."

There is no common criticism in these threads that Meghan has said that she hates England. It is no way accepted as a fact. Where? It's been mentioned once or twice but not extensively and perhaps not even on these threads. Their statement said they planned to spend their time between the UK and North America so indicative that she doesn't hate England.

Regarding the second part of your quote above, you were actually the first on this thread to say the words "cherry pickers". And then you agreed it did sound like that was what they were doing (i.e. cherry picking) when you said in a post: "missed this as well "still being an active member of the RF for certain events" that does make them sound like cherry pickers ."

Exactly who is doing the Chinese whispers?

rockingchair if I met them in a line up I wouldnt say that at all... if only because it would be "and did you come far today?" but if I was a friend and had the opportunity to talk to them then I absolutely would ask them what on earth they were doing and what they hoped to get out of it.

As I said before if the intention of H&M was not to do reduced duties for the RF they've had ample time to correct that in a statement.

Only attending "certain events" (which is how I expressed it) or "cherry picking" (which is how you expressed it) would happen naturally as they wouldn't be in this UK all the time.

@peridito please don’t stir. As annielouise said you were the one who cane up when the phrase “cherry-picking”. You also said that posters were exaggerating something and quoted a phrase they’d apparently used; when I questioned that you admitted no one on this thread had used it

At your instigation, we all had a polite and evidence-based discussion about why we felt Harry & Meghan only wanted to do certain RF duties. (Because you seemed to think this was a pejorative claim and not a practical result of them moving continents!) At the end of that discussion, you made comments that showed you seemed to respect and understand that perspective, if not agree with it (which was and is FINE!!)

Yet now you’re back, inaccurately accusing people of emotively exaggerating and stating certain views as facts. Poor show. Next time I won’t bother engaging with you when you question a viewpoint, it’s clearly a waste of time.

Exactly dandy. I now think peridito is stirring.

DM reporting on a rumour:

Meghan Markle's first post-Megxit job will be making guest appearances on 'a Canadian reality TV show for Netflix about second weddings hosted by her BFF Jessica Mulroney', claim sources on the show

If this it true, yikes. Another "the first one (family/marriage) didn't work, but NOW I've found my real family/one true love"

‘Guest appearances’. Oh God. I can just see it.

Guesting as what, a celebrity wedding planner? It's a very lucrative line of work.

I’m sure Diana would have loved Meghan as she’s made Harry happy. Same as I’m sure HMQ doesn’t have any any issues with their decision as she’s his grandmother and him being happy will be the priority.

Guest appearances on a Netflix show about second weddings? That sounds really, really tacky!

Actually it reminds me of that terrible reality series "Australian Princess" that Paul Burrell around 10-15 years ago.

Hmmm, is this like how Charles's happiness was his mother's priority and that's why he got told he had to marry someone he barely knew and didn't love?

Mischief no - as a person who's allegedly had a disastrous first wedding/marriage and a fairy tale second one.

Hmmm, is this like how Charles's happiness was his mother's priority and that's why he got told he had to marry someone he barely knew and didn't love?

As for the Megan doc rumour - surely that can’t be true? Surely?

I’m sure Diana would have loved Meghan as she’s made Harry happy.

That's not how MILs work.

Why not - does in our family. My MIL is brilliant - we’re moving country to be nearer her.