Should I rehome our kitten after realising I cannot cope?

[Tryingtobe123]

I’ve made a huge mistake and I feel awful about it

please be gentle, I really struggle with impulsive decisions (adhd) and we recently got a kitten. I split from my children’s dad 19 months ago (not at all over that still) and since then I have really done so much work and feel like I’m getting some form of a life back. Then we got this kitten and I’m struggling so much to be needed by another being, I get frustrated with her. She bites me, claws me, won’t sleep anywhere but with me. I was trying to have a bath last night and she kept jumping in or meowing at me. I was trying to relax after a hard day at work and parenting. My son hates her coming into his room cos she bites him. She’s not played with enough and is wired at night but I just don’t have the time for her. She was alone for 13 hours today whilst I was at work! She was fine, but I didn’t even think through how many hours I would be working (I know I know, it’s fucking stupid of me so please don’t tell me I am - I know it already!!) I’m overwhelmed by everything and keep thinking why have I added another stress to my life when I was just getting it back?! I’m not overly drawn to cats I’m definitely a dog person, my son wanted one. I thought the company would be nice but she just adding stress 😢

shes an indoor cat, the breeder told me to keep her indoors. So I have done. I’m constantly cleaning up after her because I struggle with smells/mess. What the fuck do I do! Am I overthinking this and should I just rehome her for my sanity/her happiness?! I feel as though she needs another cat for stimulation

she’s only young, 14 weeks and we’ve only had her 3 weeks but my gut is telling me it’s not the right time. My son is 5 and my daughter is 2…I’m mental I know. I am kicking myself

I had to return a kitten once. It was awful, just a huge mistake but handing him back was 100% right. Better to return her now than when she’s older and more bonded to you. You’d be better off with an older cat. Kittens are mental

Give her back to the breeder. You’ve learned a lesson here. She’s still very young and will be picked up by another family. I’m not going to be horrible to you about it. There’s no point. Just do not get another pet.

She’s a little baby - return her to the breeder. Our adult cats (10 and three) are fine alone for 13 hours on the odd occasion, but generally they enjoy company and prefer to be in a room with someone even if they’re sleeping. Another family will snap her up.

What breed is she?

Please don’t keep her - you clearly haven’t done your research and you can’t provide what she needs.

Poor baby if you genuinely care about her the kindest thing would be to give her to a rescue they will make sure she gets a five star home. Please do the right thing for her she is only biting cos she is teething.

If the breeder is any good they should take her back and rehome her themselves.

Poor lass would probably have done much better if there had been 2 of them as she would have company to play with but all she has is you, so naturally she's glued to you when you're home. This is why rescues usually only rehome kittens in pairs.

Take her back, at least you've recognised you've made a mistake quite early on - and you aren't throwing her out on the streets which is what happens to so many kittens and young cats.

She also sounds too young. Yes, take her back, you say breeder so assuming shes pedigree?

You ring the breeder and give her back. Any half decent breeder would take their kittens back, and the good ones don't actually allow you to re-home them yourselves at all, you HAVE to bring them back.

Although a good breeder wouldn't have given you her at 11 weeks imo.

If the breeder won't help go on a breed specific Facebook page and ask for help. I'm assuming it's a specific breed rather than a moggy because you've been told to keep it inside. Another breeder may be willing to help.

You need to write off the idea of getting any of your money back on this kitten though. Do not try to sell the kitten.

I think the kindest thing to do would be find someone with pedigree experience, who is home all day or a pedigree experienced rescue who can find a suitable home. I would be slightly concerned with the breeder giving you the cat at 11 weeks and not checking someone will be with it in the day though you may have signed a contract saying you need to return it to them.

I assume they aren’t a pedigree kitten with GCCF as you are not to home your kittens until 13 weeks old and had both sets of kitten vaccinations.

Absolutely return the kitten.

Theres registered pedigree and then there's "pedigree" unfortunately.

This sounds like a dodgy breeder.

The rescue I volunteer for doesn’t put kittens up for adoption before they’re 3 months old & would have asked you to confirm that you wouldn’t leave a kitten under 5 months old alone for more than 4 hours. They’d also have made very sure that you understood what having a young kitten involved.

Did you get her via Pets for homes or similar?

Most rescues are full to the brim at the moment so your best bet may be asking one about direct adoption. This would mean that they’d advertise the kitten for you & vet applicants, & in return the fee paid for the kitten would go to them.

I am afraid you just got the wrong cat. A kitten was absolutely not suitable for your situation. I have very old rescues and they sleep all day and are quite tolerant and not needy.
Kittens are by their nature needy and needing to be entertained and taught right from wrong. They are babies so need to learn it all. You don't have the time or energy for that so yes please either return or re home. It's for the best

Christ almighty. The breeder gave you a kitten at 11 weeks? And also gave the kitten to someone who's unable to give it the proper care it needs 🙄

If the breeder won't take the kitten back and it's a recognised breed try other local breeders who might be able help you re-home her. Worst case scenario give the kitten to a local rescue.

Fair to say you've learned your lesson and won't get another animal.

Yes return it, and remember this so you don’t make the same mistake again.

op you are allowed to make a mistake. Return her quickly as kittens are easier to rehome.

Recognisibg that you aren’t best for this animal is a kindness and doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be right for another.

And people complain that rescues do too many checks on potential owners...
Perhaps there are good reasons?

I did this once - got a kitten, all fine, gave birth and got PPD and had to re home the cat. Big lesson learned and the cat is much happier now!

Cut your losses and hand her back to the breeder. They will be able to rehome her as she is a young kitten. I'd do it as soon as you can.

You are not meeting her needs- it won’t help listing all the things you’re doing wrong so I won’t do that.
However from this moment onwards stop getting annoyed with your kitten for behaving like a kitten.
So accept you’ve made a mistake & take her back to the breeder ASAP - that would be the kindest decision to make.

A kitten is a massive commitment because they are essentially little babies. They are full of beans, and require a lot of attention, especially if the cat needs to be an indoor one. An indoor cat needs much more enrichment, to be happy and contented.

First step is to see if the breeder will take the kitten back. If they won't, and I have my doubts they will, simply because they allowed you to take the cat before the recommended time to be removed from their Mum. There's a very good reason why rescues vett potential owners, as this situation proves. A breeder shouldn't have allowed you to adopt the cat if you were going to be leaving such a young cat for long periods of time.

If the breeder won't accept the kitten back, then you contact as many local rescues as you can, to see if they can find a new home for her. Don't just give her away. I can't emphases this enough. There are unscrupulous people who will look for vulnerable kittens/cats to be used in dog baiting.

You've made a mistake getting a kitten. At least you recognise this.