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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

How long did you wait before getting a new cat after loss?

34 replies

Motherofvoid · 22/07/2026 02:18

I have posted previously about losing my boy back in April. I still cry for him every single day. He was my soul cat.

I do also have another cat, she is a grumpy old lady but she adored her brother. She is 14 but very healthy, but has become very depressed since losing her brother. We have feliway plugins, she has lots of love and attention and is a very loved and spoiled lady. She definitely prefers my partner and I'm the spare human.

We have arranged to collect a kitten tomorrow from a rescue..a little void boy but I am feeling so conflicted.

Would be very grateful to hear some experiences from others in similar circumstances.

OP posts:
Gingerkittykat · 22/07/2026 05:09

After cat 1 died, we got cat 3 within 8 weeks. I knew straight away I wanted another cat and so put my name down on the breeder's waiting list within a week of him dying.

It was too soon for me, although I love her now. Unfortunately, cat 2, who had also pined for cat 1, did not like her and never got used to her in the last 4 years of his life.

When cat 2 died, we decided to keep cat 3 as an only cat. We think she would love a friend, but she is a ragdoll who is bullied by every cat who meets her. I've also been crippled with vet costs over the past few years so that is part of my decision too.

Wishing you the best of luck with your new kitten, and I hope your resident cat loves him.

Allergictoironing · 22/07/2026 05:57

I didn't have much choice about getting a new cat as soon as feasible - Girlcat is indoor only and I work from the offices so she couldn't be left at home all day on her own with no company especially considering she'd never been without her brother.

I chose a cat to suit her rather than me as her need was greater than mine, though I do love Tobias very much indeed. Sadly Tobias has issues so won't be much longer for this world, probably only months, and I will do the same when he's gone. I didn't get a kitten, rather a fully grown cat and next time I'm hoping for someone quite close to Girlcat in age so the energy levels are similar. One thing I do know, it HAS to be a boy as she wouldn't tolerate another queen in the house as she's the boss.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 22/07/2026 09:32

We only had one cat so slightly different, but we adopted a little boy cat within weeks of her being pts. Was it too soon? Yes. But also it was exactly what I needed. He was a bit of a project as he’d been a stray kitten, and I needed a project because I was so grief-stricken at losing our lovely girl. It took me a while to truly love him but now I do with my whole heart 🧡

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 22/07/2026 10:49

I took Cheddar home two weeks after Maia died. And knew about Penelope within four hours of Magics death, as I messaged the rescue to let them know and they told me about her. Sent me a picture and that was it! Had to wait a long while to pick her up. But knowing she was coming really helped. I’ve always found getting a new one soon helped. Not to replace the previous one. Because they can’t. But to fill the gap they left.

TroysMammy · 22/07/2026 23:10

3 years 4 months.

Motherofvoid · 22/07/2026 23:43

Thanks all...it fell through unfortunately (foster decided to keep him). Annoying as I had bought new bowls, bed, litter tray and kitten food but I do get it. Now I know I'm ready and will be keeping my eye out for another boy.

OP posts:
socialdilemmawhattodo · 22/07/2026 23:56

I had to put my boy to sleep (cancer) mid Dec, a few years ago. A beautiful Siamese rescue. Less than 2 weeks later a Siamese rescue charity posted for help. 10 cats. I had to clear with (devastated) DC. Trust me not even the memorial canvass nor the actual ashes had arrived. We still have him from the 10, plus a newer adopted Siamese rescue sibling. We occasionally discuss Siamese Rescue 1. He was lovely to humans and children; turned out he massively bullied all local cats! BUT: next time no fancy gimmicks, like canvases or indiv cremation. The final rescue is MY girl. Love her to bits. But still no. You do get over pet death quite quickly.

Motherofvoid · 23/07/2026 00:12

@socialdilemmawhattodo I'm glad that was your experience but I don't think I'll ever get over losing my boy. So no not everyone gets over pet death quite quickly. I lost my boy in April and it's still very painful.

He really was my soul cat. Miscarriages, breakups, bereavements, health scares, he stuck to me like glue. He honestly kept me alive, he was my reason to get out of bed although I appreciate everyone is different.

OP posts:
BuzzLightyearToTheRescue · 23/07/2026 00:17

I said I’d wait months but it was about 2-3 weeks after. The house felt horrendously empty. We underestimated how fast a shelter can be once you say you’re willing

caringcarer · 23/07/2026 00:23

My teen DS's cat died after 18 years of loving him deeply. My DS told me he couldn't have another cat. About 8 weeks later he said he hated getting up in the morning and no cat tripping him up on the stairs and going around his ankles to get breakfast. After another 4 weeks he told me he wanted another cat. He found a half Bengal kitten advertised himself and went to see her. I told him it would be a very different cat to his previous tabby. He said he couldn't have another tabby cat and wanted one that looked completely different. Cat now 8 years old. I also got another cat for me about a year after ds got his cat. Now we have 2 cats who live happily together. I couldn't be without a cat in my life anymore than my DS could.

Allergictoironing · 23/07/2026 06:29

Motherofvoid · 23/07/2026 00:12

@socialdilemmawhattodo I'm glad that was your experience but I don't think I'll ever get over losing my boy. So no not everyone gets over pet death quite quickly. I lost my boy in April and it's still very painful.

He really was my soul cat. Miscarriages, breakups, bereavements, health scares, he stuck to me like glue. He honestly kept me alive, he was my reason to get out of bed although I appreciate everyone is different.

Boycat was my soul cat too - over 3.5 years later and I still miss him like mad, and doubt I'll ever really get over losing him.

But that doesn't mean I can't find the love for his sister, or for Tobias, as well. OK so maybe not quite the same as with him, but deep love nevertheless.

Nobabyyet296 · 23/07/2026 07:03

About 2 months after. I felt such guilt but my house was so empty without my soul cat. The way I rationalised it to myself (not that I needed to justify but to help me feel like I was doing the right thing) was to remind myself that I was rescuing a cat in need. I just happened to see a black cat at a small local rescue. She was the only one left in their current batch of rescues and no one wanted her as she was shy and kept hiding.
when I got her home she felt like a stranger and just not my old cat so I did wonder if I’d made a mistake but within weeks we were bonded she realised she was safe and totally came out of her shell and my husband and I adore her.

I still think of my previous cat frequently but I’m glad I’ve given another cat a second chance at life.

Leeds157 · 23/07/2026 08:55

I got my two kittens 6 weeks after my cat Baxter died, at first it felt weird having ‘strangers’ in the house, but the silence and absence of a cat was horrible, so I knew I needed cats in the house.
we’ve had them 2 years now, and I love them, it just took time because I was grieving

southchinasea · 23/07/2026 22:41

We adopted two gorgeous rescue boys very quickly after our lovely elderly girl cat (last of three siblings) passed away. It was just too quiet without a cat in the house and we knew we had a good home and lots of love to offer. I was looking at the cat rescue charity pages the same week and they came home with us within about 3 weeks. No regrets - we adore them! I deliberately chose cats who were a different colour to the originals and they are young, playful and very much their own personalities. We still miss our first and much loved cats of course but the new pair have settled in beautifully and seem very happy as are we.

Gettingbysomehow · 23/07/2026 22:49

I get a new cat straight away. I cannot come home to an empty house.
It doesnt mean I love the cat that's gone any less.
My lovely cat died during covid and there were no cats for adoption at that time. I was alone for about 3 months snd I felt it was an empty shell without her.
Then a friend said could I have her 12 year old cat because she's allergic. It felt like the new cat was a gift from the old cat.

Malinia · 23/07/2026 22:51

Not long. I have more than one cat and am always quick to make sure the one left has a companion.

WildFlowerBees · 23/07/2026 23:00

Almost 6 weeks, we picked up an 11 week rescue, our lovely fella was so depressed vet checked him he’s lost weight so we got her for him, I’m nowhere near ready to have another she was my world but seeing her brother in such a decline has been awful. It’s been 4 days although he’s growled at her he’s begun eating, purring again and seeking out our company, they’ve not met properly yet so I’ve no idea if they’ll get along. If I’m really honest I would never have got another if he’d been ok. I’m not enjoying having a kitten it’s overwhelming and she’s into everything, I’m used to having chilled cats neither of ours brought us live or dead gifts and I’m worried she’ll be some mad hunter killing all my lovely wildlife. Dh loves her, I’m not there yet, I miss my sweet girl and this little one as cute as she is is a reminder that my poppet isn’t here.,

Allergictoironing · 23/07/2026 23:02

Do try to remember that you aren't being "unfaithful" to the memory of your old cat if you get a new one. If someone was widowed young, they wouldn't be judged, feel disloyal, or feel guilty if they met another partner.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 24/07/2026 13:45

I have a slightly different approach. We have multiple cats (max 4) and I tend to top up with 2 kittens when we get down to 2 cats left. As someone above touched on - I'd find it really sad coming home to a cat free house.

TokyoSushi · 24/07/2026 13:49

Our darling cat died in February, and we got another in September. I thought I could never love another cat like I did the one that died, he was 17 and I'd had him since a kitten.

New cat is completely different to old cat, in fact, it's astonishing that they are the same animal at all, we all absolutely adore her, just as we did old cat.

InQuiresandplaceswheretheysing · 24/07/2026 15:18

I always think that you honour your late cat by giving another the chance of same great life.

killerqueen2026 · 24/07/2026 15:25

3 days. I rang the foster woman to tell her he had gone, she said she had started up her own cat charity and funny how a black male cat had come in the same day as mine had passed….
he didn’t even hit the website, I said yes within 2 minutes of seeing him

Bluepower · 24/07/2026 15:30

About six weeks. He needed a home, but had kept missing out because he wasn't what most people were looking for.

Nearly didn't take him because we assumed it was too soon and some kind of betrayal, but it was definitely the right decision.

VexedofVirginiaWater · 24/07/2026 15:36

I only ever have one cat at a time and I think I have only waited a couple of months before adopting another in the past. However, now I am in my 70s and I have my 16-year-old senior girl, I'm not sure what I'll do when I lose her. I can't adopt a kitten or young cat who might well outlive me and leave problems for my DC, but on the other hand I live alone so the house will seem empty. I don't know. 😿

Edited to add that also I am very boring now - just me living here and no other pets and no grandchildren, so a young cat would be bored. Maybe I should adopt an older cat (hopefully with no medical issues).

IwanttoWFH · 24/07/2026 15:43

My darling girl died at the age of 20 and I’d had her since she was a kitten. I wanted to wait, but the empty house was unbearable.
After a few days, we started looking at rescue charities. We saw a bonded pair of sisters and went to visit them. I fell in love and we agreed to take them. I then cried for two days as I felt so guilty, but knew we could give other cats the amazing life my girl had had. We got them a week afterwards and it really did help with easing some of the pain. Nearly two years on, I still miss my girl and I sleep with her ashes in a teddy every night. It doesn’t mean you love them any less, but it does help fill that void.