Sitter problems reassurance needed

[Puppylucky]

Hi - apologies if this shows up twice it disappeared just as I was about to post it!
To cut a long story short we are away for 8 days and our boy Marvin is at home with a new cat sitter. Whilst she is very capable she also has a full on job that she is doing remotely during her stay with us. Unfortunately Marvin is going through a night time crying and prowling phase (common with Maus) and she isn't really coping as she understandably needs her sleep
From Spain I am limited in what I can actually do to help and am dreading the daily messages about her disrupted sleep. In desperation I have agreed that she can shut him in the kitchen even though I know he will hate it and probably get even more distressed. I know no one can really help but please can someone reassure me that I won't scar my cat for life trying to please my sitter! Cat tax of Marvin giving her the stink eye attached

Ok @SpottyPyjama chill! She isn't house sitting she's pet sitting -it's different as she has committed to looking after an animal. If she can't or won't deal with what that might entail, rejects all the options I am presenting her with to try and help her - including leaving the cat alone at night if she really can't cope and I can't even end the sit without making her homeless then I am entitled to feel disappointed. I don't know why you are so hung up on the free bit BTW, it's literally the THS model - no one is forcing her to do this!

For most people, pet-sitting a cat just involves feeding them, changing their litter, letting them in/out (if necessary) and providing cuddles - and maybe brushing them if needed.

Your cats' behaviour sounds unusual and a bit extreme to me (and I say that as a professional cat sitter and long-time cat owner). I don't think it's unusual that she wants to sleep properly and be able to work without a screaming cat disrupting her constantly.

Fair enough - although that does seem like the bare minimum to me @tiramisugelato ! Also I am genuinely amazed how few people here seem to have ever encountered a vocal or playful cat and are horrified by the idea. They aren't all sofa cushions with paws.

My youngest is very vocal and playful but I can still work at home without distraction and sleep at night without being distracted.

If you think what I've described is the "bare minimum" then what else would you expect to be included? Given that you're not paying out any money and you know your sitter also has a full-time job.

And so can I @tiramisugelato ! This is my point really that if I can coexist with a playful vocal cat whilst working from home and managing a full night's sleep why can't she? How would you like it if the sitter that you had organised to look after your young vocal cat messaged you at least once a day complaining about them, when you weren't in any position to help or make things better and every suggestion was rejected?
Also when I say your list is the bare minimum it was a reflection of the lack of interaction/ playtime included. I would expect any cat sitter to put down food and water and clean the litter but a quick cuddle isn't really interacting.

If my sitter messaged me like that, I would try and offer an alternative - pop-ins (I accept that's not possible in your case), or tell her to shut him out/away if he's being a pest, I wouldn't expect her to sacrifice her sleep or job over him.

I also have to say I've never experienced a cat who needs huge amounts of play or interaction, but then I've never kept a young and energetic cat indoors and alone either.

I don't think you've read the thread to be honest ! I have offered all of those things to her but nothing has helped. I am obviously not expecting her to sacrifice her sleep or her work but I am hoping she will treat my cat kindly. I don't keep my cat alone - hence the fact I'm using a live in sitter in the first bloody place!

I have read the thread - I just think you have a very specific way in which you want you cat to be treated and cared for, and she was probably more thinking along the lines of "feed, change litter, cuddle".

And when I say keep the cat alone, I mean you keep him as an only cat with no feline company or access to roam. Most cats I know would go bonkers in that kind of set-up.

Some cats just yowl in the night, one of mine does. I would look to come home early and leave her a very honest & bad review

I think the problem here is that you have a cat and a sitter who are at opposite ends of the scale - Marvin is a naturally noisy breed and gets separation anxiety, she's someone who wants a peaceful quiet time.

She isn't really sitting for free, she's cat sitting to save paying for rent on her own home which is usually a massive part of anyone's outgoings. In my area even a single bedroom with shared bathroom in a house will cost from £150 per week and you still need to fit around the other resident's needs & behaviours, arrange bathroom use and cooking around their timings etc. If she is literally moving from pet sit to pet sit, as the OP implies, then sounds like she has a pretty decent deal and it's a lifestyle choice.

She's basically being paid £150 per week to put up with the noise, noise she was warned about before accepting the role.

Oh @Allergictoironing thank you thank you thank you! You have summed it up perfectly. She is trying her best but is out of her depth with a cat who is more tricky than she signed up for. Her last sit (the week before mine ) was two British Shorthairs - you can't get more polar opposites to Marvin! And she really isn't doing it out of the goodness of her heart. She had a suitcase full of dirty laundry she will be washing as well as a comfy bed, Sky TV and an office she can work from. None of this would matter, if I didn't feel so sad that she is unhappy and fed up with Marvin. I know she won't be actively cruel to him, but they just haven't bonded. She seems to think he's happy and relaxed because he's gone quiet but I'm pretty sure he's just withdrawn. Sad Marvin attached 😕

Bless his little face! I want to dash over there & give him fuss and cuddles, wave fishing pole type toys around for him, scritch him under the chin.....

You can come anytime!

NOT your problem whatever her situation is! SHE has caused this situation by all the complaining about your cats behavior and being cruel to him! And shutting a cat in a buggy is downright CRUEL and NASTY!!!!!! You don’t need to be a cat lover to know that! She’s traumatised the poor cat so much he’s gone silent or has cried so much that he’s lost his voice 😢

Go home and don’t tell her when you’re arriving so you can see for yourself what the situation is when you get home and then you
can tell her to get the hell out of your house and away from your poor cat!

Her JOB is looking after the cat this week!!

Cats in other parts of
the world - Australia for example - HAVE to be indoor cats or have a catio in their garden for their own safety and also to stop them killing all the wildlife! That’s the law!!! They manage 🤷‍♀️ the amount of people on fb groups complaining about a car driver who’s run over their car that they’ve let out of the house to wander the streets and then blame someone else for their decisions is why responsible cat owners don’t let their cat out!!

No, her job is her full-time job, the cat sitting is something she does in exchange for a place to stay.

And lots of cats in Australia and the US develop behavioural problems as a result of being stuck inside 🤷‍♀️

I don't want this to get derailed into an inside Vs outside cat argument, particularly as I have noticed before that the biggest advocates of outdoor cats on MN tend to have massive gardens or live in the middle of nowhere. We rescued Marvin from life in a yard in the Middle East where he had no stimulation. We may not be able to let him roam free but we can give him more than that. And I don't think it's frustrated instincts that are the sole cause of all of this mess to be honest.

The arrangement is for her to be able to stay in return for caring for the cat in a way that is better than 2-3 visits a day, or being put in a cattery.

So tell me what you consider is reasonable bearing in mind she's living rent free, no bills, Sky TV, being able to wash tons of dirty clothes brought with her, in a decent house? A bit more than feeding him twice a day, doing the litter tray & maybe a stroke or two I feel.

If she isn't happy, she can go and rent somewhere to live & work in peace and OP can either come home early as she's suggested she might, or see if a neighbour's teenager wants to spend time there. Sounds like the "sitter" has worked out that doing that is a very cheap way to live comfortably!

Just to update - she and Marvin had a much better day to day. She admitted that she'd been spending very little time with him due to work so it's not really a surprise that he was unsettled and unhappy at night. She was essentially a stranger on his patch that was ignoring him. I think she is probably going to keep putting him in the kitchen overnight but he seems ok cuddled up on my work chair which at least smells familiar. I still think at some point he will crack and refuse to be shut up at night (he can open the door if he tries hard enough) but I'm going to leave her to it.

She sounds like an absolutely shit pet sitter. I wouldn’t be using her again.

I don't think she means to be - she's just a busy lady who is using cat sitting gigs as a means to an end. She's actually very professional and responsible and if it was just the house she was looking after I'd be delighted.

Not very professional to be moaning about the cat she’s supposed to be sitting though. She took the role to cat sit not house sit and seems like your poor cat is a huge burden to her.

Which is why responsible owners will convert their entire garden into one huge catio so their cat can have the entire garden safely to themselves and their owners without risk to themselves or the wildlife