Neighbour fed my cat and took him to the vet

[Tigeresslearns]

I know I'm talking to the sensible here.
I've recently had to have my lovely boy pts. He was a roaming rascal that had to have his tail removed previously. He was also a lazy groomer so needed me to bath him on occasion too - not fun for him or me! But he was ours and was loved.

Anyway, I got a text a couple of weeks ago from a neighbour, who even after repeated telling by me to NOT feed him, had done so for a couple of years. He spent some time sat in her garden enjoying the sun. She knew I was his owner. She had my contact number and knows where I live.

She'd decided to take him to a vet as he had been unwell in her garden for 24 hours. She hadn't contacted me before this at all to tell me as I would of gone straight there to get him.

I called the vets, they'd done bloods and he was in kidney failure so I made the sad decision to pts. I couldn't get there before they would close for the day so I wasn't even there to give him strokes and love.

Adding to this, at the weekend I came across a fb post from the vets that they'd posted at the time, stating they had him and to call them as he was unwell. Comments underneath included some very strange or hurtful comments, including someone sharing my address and that I had 'abandoned' him. Thankfully the vets removed the post straight away when I called them.

Who the hell does this?

Things I've learnt:

Check your cat's chip is registered - my boy had been chipped years ago but for some reason the vet I'd used hadn't completed the registration or told me I had to complete the registration. It's been a pain but I've now got my other cats registered to me so it doesn't happen again.

Do not feed cats that don't belong to you. There are so many other means to care for a cat who you think it lost/abandoned/unwell. Posting on local fb groups get cats reunited really quickly usually. Or if you know the owner, tell them their cat is at yours. Any responsible cat owner would appreciate that.

No need to be snarky, I’m not explaining feline medicine, I’m trying to pull back the anecdotal fallacy which you can surely recognise can be harmful.

People like this are awful and there are so many about. It’s some kind of righteous superiority thing that certain people have going on. There is an absolute epidemic of pain in the arse people carting cats off to vets when they are often out for a walk and “look lost”. I’m so sorry she didn’t call you right away, or the next day, and let you know your cat was unwell. I’m so sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye. Also don’t take to heart people on here saying she was doing you a favour - there’s a weird epidemic of people who either don’t have or don’t understand cats on here, I’ve noticed it in general rise over the last 20 yrs. She did not do you a favour - calling you would have been a favour so you could take the cat to the vets yourself. Sending love as you grieve, it must be awful doing so while feeling the anger you must feel towards your neighbour. I hope if you speak about it with her she apologises to help you release the feeling if you know what I mean. X

I can completely sympathise. Lost my cat to kidney disease in October. A woman across the road kept feeding my cat even though I repeatedly told her she was on a renal diet. She knew the cat was mine and we had lived there for 23 years with the cat. One day she was caught trying to put her in a cat carrier and accused me of not feeding her! She said she was a stray cat! This woman would not listen! She had been diagnosed with kidney disease 3 years previous and was very skinny at the time but still had a quality of life. I had her put to sleep in September when that quality of life had gone. I was so angry with that woman so I completely sympathise. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Why was your cat in the neighbors garden? If you own a pet, you should keep it on your property only!

Have you never met a cat before?

If he was being fed at home and at neighbours his ravenous appetite might not have been noticeable at home.

Ignore the negative posters. The neighbour is 100% at fault here. They left the cat in the garden for 24 hours and didn’t contact you when they noticed he was ill. They could have taken him to the vet and let you know straight away. They are beyond wrong for that and I would personally never forgive them.

Yes I agree. Elderly or senior cats can deteriorate so quickly. Especially if the weather is very hot or very cold. The vets were out of order doing this so quickly before OP had a chance to say bye. Even though they shut at lunchtime on Saturday (for consultations) there is usually still staff present and on call all weekend. The neighbour did not put the cat's best interests 1st either. They could have contacted OP much sooner so she had a chance to come back from her day out and get to the vets in time. & withholding vital info from vets regarding owners details is unforgiveable in my book. I'd be having a word if this was my neighbour to get to the bottom of it properly.

Im sorry about your cat. 💐

I know you are angry with your neighbours but if you look at it from their pov they knew your cat was in their garden for at least 24 hours and they knew you hadn't come looking for your cat or messaged them to ask about your cat.

If that's all they have to go on, they can be forgiven for thinking the worst of you rather than the best and taking your cat to the vet.

Edit - that said, I agree they should have messaged you earlier rather than made assumptions (if they did)

Thanks for those who posted with your stories, messages of support, kindness or questions. You have made me see things from different perspectives and I'm working on letting my angry go.

My boy lived the life he chose, was loved and spoilt by his family (I still have his mum and sister too) and most importantly at the end, he's now in no more pain. These are the most important things.

I've collected his ashes and I'll be scattering them in a sunny spot in the garden.

I'm stepping away from the thread now but I genuinely am thankful for those who took the time to post.

And for those who choose to post nasty comments which are neither helpful or informed - that reflects so much more on you and your misery, than on me. A special thank you to those of you who called them out too.

It sounds like she didn't realise he was unwell enough to need a vet until the next morning - and she then immediately brought him since you were out. I'm not too sure how you csn see malice here. Had she not, you were too far away to do anything anyway.

I'm sorry for your loss, it's heartbreaking.

I think you're taking your guilt out on her but in reality you've nothing to feel guilty for. You gave the cat a great life.

Your nieighbour is cruel. She purposely didn’t let you know your cat was lying ill in her garden, then she left it there 24hrs, and then decided to take it to the vet still without informing you. She then clearly pretended it was a stray else the vet wouldn’t have put that message on Facebook - so purposely lying to deprive you of the chance to be involved with decision-making and to be there when the cat was pts.

I wouldn’t be forgiving her. I’d be right round there giving her a piece of my mind, then following up with a solicitor’s letter. I probably wouldnt be able to afford to take legal action but I’d hope it would stop her doing that to another cat. She fed your cat god knows what, disguising the large appetite of kidney failure and possibly harming it if even though you’d asked her not to, and she withheld information about the cat’s health and whereabouts from you, and withheld information from the vet. I’d wipe the floor with her.

She should have contacted you as soon as she saw he looked unwell.
i have had that happen with previous cats chips. One went missing years ago and when I put the chip into the data base it was not registered/
my male cat wanders a lot this time of year when it is warm and the days are long. He pops back in for food occasionally but is straight back out again.
my female cats are around much more/

I'm so sorry this happened. Your neighbour is a f*ING a-hole. Hate people who do this, it's so disrespectful!

Vet should not pts. He is/ was your cat. Neighbours OUT OF ORDER AND VET.

How do you know this. How do you know it wasn’t the neighbour feeding him food he shouldn’t have had that caused the problem. How do you know that had the cat been sick in the ops house she wouldn’t have taken him to the vet. What is it with the people on here that love to kick someone when they are down. I e actually posted about this.

The OP gave permission for the cat to be PTS, the vet did nothing wrong

Your neighbour did right by taking your boy to the vet. She was in the wrong to keep on feeding him when requested not to and still in the wrong for not letting you know for a whole 24 hours that he was unwell.

People are shit and are too quick to judge a person without knowing the info.

I’m so sorry for your loss OP 💙💐

I’m sorry for your loss. Did you not know the vet just chip the cat. You the owner have to register and keep it updated. It’s also a legal requirement.
I follow a cat rescue and the amount of chipped cats but no details held is unbelievable!

Why didn’t the OP notice! It is her cat. The neighbour might have had the cat scanned and no registration so how did she know it was really the OP’s.

It clearly states in the second paragraph of the OP that the neighbour knows the cat is OPs, has her number, knows where she lives and has even talked with the owner multiple times when she’s asked the neighbour to stop feeding the cat. So yes, she really knew the cat was OPs

Ignore these idiots!
You’ve made the situation VERY clear in your posts !!

Your neighbour should’ve come and knocked your door, text or rang you at the first sign of your car being unwell! Just a quick text saying ‘hey @Tigeresslearns your cat is in my garden and doesn’t too well, let me know if you’d like to pop over and fetch him!
Only if you’d ignored her should she have taken it soon herself to take your cat to the vets !
As for a neighbour giving your address and accusing you of abandoning your cat? I’d be going to that neighbour and asking them why the fk they think slander and giving out your address is appropriate. I’d be so livid at that!!

Is there anyway neighbours would have been given the wrong impression of you? Is your neighbour feeding your cat and telling everyone else that she has to because you don’t?

when I was younger (a girl of approx 8), our cat had kittens and we kept one, an old man round the corner started feeding it, she would disappear for weeks at a time, she came back less and less frequently, eventually she completely stopped. Years past and we saw her in his doorway. He told us she was a stray hee taken in, my mum kindly told him she wasn’t a stray and that she was my pet, he looked rather shocked…. Goodness knows how he thought a young stray would have been spayed!

I think it’s brave to post ANYTHING on here about animals as it seems to always result in really angry pet-parent judgement ! The neighbour should have called, and it was useful for the OP to point out that chipping / pet registration should be checked . RIP Kitty

How is it unreasonable. If I saw an unwell cat in my garden and knew the owner, surely it's common sense to inform/take cat to the owner?