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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Give me back my cat!!

57 replies

ConnieHeart · 20/04/2026 21:05

Our ginger girl cat is an absolute sweetheart but doesn't have much loyalty to us. Many times over the years she's disappeared for days on end, occasionally popping back home for a snooze then she's off again.

For the past week or so she's repeated this pattern & we suspect someone else is feeding her as she's not eating when she does bother to grace us with her presence. Last year when she disappeared I put notes through all the houses near us & a lady rang me to say she sees her frequently in her garden & she tries to come in her house but apparently she doesn't let her.

After missing since Saturday, dd2 & I popped round to the lady's house to ask if she'd seen her. No reply at the house but lo and behold, who should peek out through the blinds at the window but our little monkey!!

So I'm going to go round again tomorrow and have a gentle word with the lady or leave her a note if she's not in. Our cat has no doubt made herself at home but she should not be encouraging her!

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 20/04/2026 21:10

Or, as a good cat person, you could accept she doesn't want to live with you,

ForMerryMauveDreamer · 20/04/2026 21:13

This does my head in. If you want a cat then get one, there are thousands that need homes. Don’t trap and steal someone else’s! I’d be keeping kitty inside for a bit and be giving choice words to the neighbour.

ConnieHeart · 20/04/2026 21:14

Arlanymor · 20/04/2026 21:10

Or, as a good cat person, you could accept she doesn't want to live with you,

Well she's with us more often than not, so that's not the case. I'm not even sure if the lady has a cat flap

OP posts:
KeyLimeCake · 20/04/2026 21:16

Arlanymor · 20/04/2026 21:10

Or, as a good cat person, you could accept she doesn't want to live with you,

A good cat person would get their own, not steal someone else's.
I wouldn't want my cat with someone like that.

Arlanymor · 20/04/2026 21:17

KeyLimeCake · 20/04/2026 21:16

A good cat person would get their own, not steal someone else's.
I wouldn't want my cat with someone like that.

Stealing? Cats choose their homes.

KeyLimeCake · 20/04/2026 21:19

Arlanymor · 20/04/2026 21:17

Stealing? Cats choose their homes.

Cats are chipped and registered to an address. Someone usually pays vet bills, flea and worm treatments, etc.

Keeping a cat inside that you know belongs to someone else is stealing.

Arlanymor · 20/04/2026 21:22

KeyLimeCake · 20/04/2026 21:19

Cats are chipped and registered to an address. Someone usually pays vet bills, flea and worm treatments, etc.

Keeping a cat inside that you know belongs to someone else is stealing.

Totally agree - but nothing about chips here. Which makes me think someone doesn't care about their cat.

Bunnybackinherwarren · 20/04/2026 21:24

Dcats are now regarded legally as property. She hands your dcat back or ring the police. There are now laws that demand you not encourage a dcat you know belongs to someone else...

Imacelebritygotit · 20/04/2026 21:25

My friend saw her cat in peoples upstairs window a few times

He had collar and everything btw so they couldn’t mistake him for stray

then one day the cat disappeared. she found out the Those neighbours moved and took him with them!!

ConnieHeart · 20/04/2026 21:31

Arlanymor · 20/04/2026 21:22

Totally agree - but nothing about chips here. Which makes me think someone doesn't care about their cat.

She's chipped

OP posts:
ConnieHeart · 20/04/2026 21:42

Arlanymor · 20/04/2026 21:22

Totally agree - but nothing about chips here. Which makes me think someone doesn't care about their cat.

What evidence do you have apart from you wrongly assuming she's not chipped?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 20/04/2026 21:44

Personally I would cat proof the garden and not allow her out and about once she’s back.

herbalteabag · 20/04/2026 21:50

This does make me so annoyed - if my Facebook feed is to be believed, it seems like some people only have to see a cat wandering about before they decide it's a stray. This happened to me once, my cat was healthy looking and not at all thin, and an older lady still decided he didn't have a home and enticed him to hang out at hers.
Tell this lady that your cat has been put on a prescription diet and cannot eat any other food, so please don't give her anything otherwise it will make her ill.

ConnieHeart · 20/04/2026 21:58

herbalteabag · 20/04/2026 21:50

This does make me so annoyed - if my Facebook feed is to be believed, it seems like some people only have to see a cat wandering about before they decide it's a stray. This happened to me once, my cat was healthy looking and not at all thin, and an older lady still decided he didn't have a home and enticed him to hang out at hers.
Tell this lady that your cat has been put on a prescription diet and cannot eat any other food, so please don't give her anything otherwise it will make her ill.

Thing is, this lady knows full well that she's not a stray & that she has a loving home! I saw her only 2 weeks ago & we were discussing what a sweetheart she is. Little did I know she was going to cat nap her!

OP posts:
measuringtaep · 20/04/2026 22:07

ConnieHeart · 20/04/2026 21:58

Thing is, this lady knows full well that she's not a stray & that she has a loving home! I saw her only 2 weeks ago & we were discussing what a sweetheart she is. Little did I know she was going to cat nap her!

You don’t know that she has. The cat might have sneaked in like the woman told you she tries to. I would go round tomorrow and ask but don’t be accusing her of anything.

MoonWoman69 · 20/04/2026 23:01

Both mine are chipped and also have quick release fluorescent collars on, with detail barrels on them. Nobody would take mine as strays! Their mum moved out when she'd weaned them, she hated them! So she now lives with a lovely couple a few doors down. All chip details changed over. She still comes back to visit every now and again. It broke my heart at the time, but it was the best thing, as she wasn't happy here.

ConnieHeart · Yesterday 08:33

measuringtaep · 20/04/2026 22:07

You don’t know that she has. The cat might have sneaked in like the woman told you she tries to. I would go round tomorrow and ask but don’t be accusing her of anything.

There is no way the woman wouldn't know she was in there. She was sat at the window!

OP posts:
measuringtaep · Yesterday 08:39

ConnieHeart · Yesterday 08:33

There is no way the woman wouldn't know she was in there. She was sat at the window!

But the woman wasn’t in, so the cat could quite easily have got in and her not noticed. The woman has already said your cat tries to get into her house but she doesn’t allow it so I’m not sure why you have suddenly jumped to think she has randomly decided to steal her after all this time. Perhaps there is an innocent explanation still, so I would hold off with the accusations.

Twelvetimes · Yesterday 08:45

It is possible the cat got in and the woman didn't realise. Or knew she got in, but thought she'd left.

But your cat has been missing for days and with no cat flap is now 'shut in' so definitely do go and speak to her.

ConnieHeart · Yesterday 09:06

She's back in our house now. I will still go & have a friendly word

OP posts:
PrizedPickledPopcorn · Yesterday 09:09

This happened with a friend’s cat. They were starting to accept he’d chosen a different home (months) when lo and behold there was a health crisis and he’s all theirs again. Once recovered he was back at the neighbours and they are having to work hard to get him back again. Either take on full responsibility by liaising with the owner, or don’t encourage him.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · Yesterday 09:15

My neighbours cats used to come in every time I left a window open. I'd come in on a warm day to find one snoozing on the bed in the loft room (they'd come in through the roof velux) or pottering about on the sofa or sitting on the windowseat watching the world go by. I HATE to think my neighbours would believe the cats stolen - they were just opportunists (and more than once would get shut in by accident if they were hiding when I closed the windows!).

So it could be an 'accidental capture', OP. I'd ask for the cat back and then try keeping her indoors for a while to see if you can break the habit (the cat, not the neighbour). But, unfortunately, cats will be cats (I never fed my intruders, they just liked the warm beds) and they only stopped visiting when I got The Terrier From Hell.

Kittekats · Yesterday 09:28

I’d try and keep her in for a few days now just to re-establish her base.
we had very similar with previous cats and that did tend to help after a period of them being awol.

FunkyMonks · Yesterday 09:48

I hate this when people do it agree with pp stop stealing other peoples cats get your own id be very angry and the neighbour would soon know it and never do it again.

measuringtaep · Yesterday 13:20

FunkyMonks · Yesterday 09:48

I hate this when people do it agree with pp stop stealing other peoples cats get your own id be very angry and the neighbour would soon know it and never do it again.

No proof anyone stole the cat. The cat was in the house, the woman wasn’t. The cat has now returned home so not cat napped. I don’t understand why anyone thinks this woman did anything untoward. The bloody cat was always trying to go in this house and the woman told OP about it and told OP she doesn’t allow it. One instance of the cat being inside but returning home doesn’t look like a cat theft at all.